Cereal Killa - Let's be friends

Hey Baby,
saw you at the java spot,
umm yea-
hazelnut syrup.

Brown sweater,
warm scarf-
ugh!

Let's be friends,
yea,
Let's be friends,
yea

Whacha readin, babygirl,
A People's History?
Yum, Howard Zimm.

Let's be friends,
ugh!
Let's be friends

Suga, you know
Barnes 'N Noble 
ain't happenin' no more.
I know a spot,
where we can,
where we can,

ugh!

Let's be friends!
yea,
Let's be friends!

I love your brain.
Yea, I love your brain.
Wanna cook your brain,
Yea, I want to cook your brain.
And there's a hole in your head.
Now there's a hole in your ass
Now there's a hole in your ass
there's a hole in your ass
Now there's a hole in your ass

(They go)

"There's a hole in your ass?
there's a hole in your ass?
There's a hole in your ass!

how the hell did a hole
how the hell did a hole
how the hell did a hole

Now there's two boys on a girl
there's two boys on a girl
there's two boys on a girl

twice the fun and thrice as nice

there's a man at the door
there's a man at the door

peeping through the little hole
peeping through the little hole

there's a camera in the room
there's a camera in the room

you are not alone
you are not alone

how the hell did a hole?

languish-

to remain in a capsule
in a little hole
while the memories
in your head,
like dirt

tooth ache and decay
a bitter pill
encapsulated

you can stick that
in a hole
in your anus

Things to do to curb cravings

(AKA Things to do to do not do the things I should not do, whereby "Not" is a positive, and affirming)

1. Put a sock over my dog's face and watch her go, "Wha happen??"
2. Think of ways to increase sales.
3. Look up attorneys.
4. Sing the "Log Song"
5. Research specific branches of counseling suited to my wants or needs, but more like wants
6. Take the sock off the poor dog's face.
7. Write a strongly-worded letter to someone high up.
8. Actively avoid dwelling on certain stimuli or languishing in a memory.

And the Winner is,

 
   "What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs, Rolls over your neighbor's dog?
    What's great for a snack and fits on your back?
    It's Log, Log, Log! 
 It's Log, Log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
    It's Log, Log, it's better than bad, it's good!
    Everyone wants a log! You're gonna love it, Log!
    Come on and get your log! Everyone needs a Log!"


except at 6am

-No fire.
-what?
-No fire.
-he said no fire.
nice and melancholy,
there's a fire in my heart
- Excuse me, why do you keep looking my way like that?
-Sorry...I just couldn't stop I guess.
- (smiles)
- I liked your smile.  Your smile made me smile.
- You never smiled!  Why don't you smile?
- I know, I can't ever force a smile.  It's veryoff putting to strangers.  I can laugh, and get a smile out of that.  I don't have the face for it, I guess...
- I'm Katrin.
- Eatkhash.
- I know.  You've been served, Eatkhash.
- Goddammit!  Not again!  Fuckin bitch.
It's 12 in the afternoon.  I can hear my neighbors speaking with each other on their patio.  I want to climb over in my underwear, like I'm a part of their family.

"What's going on, guys?  I brought my own packets of ketchup.  You don't have to worry about me.  It's Heinz.  Or do you prefer Hunts?  Oh no, you prefer Hunts, don't you?"

Thor

Subtle, my ass.  Guy's too dumb for that.  He's got real long fingers though, like real skeleton bones fingers, I'll give him that much.  That's impressive.  And I saw him bust out a Yo-yo at lunch break.  That was pretty cool.  I know he's a pervert, though.  I saw the way he was looking at Misty, it was like me in my mind, but I'm not 56 and have grandchildren.  I'm still 18, or at best 21, 23 maybe.  A drug addict's brain works differently, that's why we're a drain on the health care system.    I'm thinking of keying his car, or broaching the issue with a known mobster like Jeff Garlin.
My dogs say we should sleep.
And I say,
Shut up, dogs.
I'll send you to China!
That's some goodass clearance turkey and provolone.  Was $4.69.  Is now $2.81.  I looked around, stuffed the baguette in my pants.
Shut up,
Shut up, children!
Tom Hanks says shut up, children!

The Tom Chips woth Tom Hanks, the Tom Hanks and Chips show!

Tom Hanks, (late for class, coffee breath for the children:). Well, children!  Let's not stand around, I know you think I'm adorable!  With my new business venture, your parents ain't paying for pleasure.  They are paying--Hey!  Stupid kid.  This is the Tom Hanks Show!
They are paying to see me talk to their children, which is you!
So--no, no no no, don't cry.
This is James Worthy, tfrom the Lakers and your nightmares, telling you to shut your eyes.
Be good for your parents, 
or we'll fuck you up.

Do Not listen to the Tom Hanks!

No, stupid.  We are the Tom Hanks Brigade.
I mean you ever see the Thin Red Line?

Probably deep or gripping or or it'll tear out your heart...Tom Hanks?

We will tear out your heart, Tom Hanks?

Do Not see Tom Hanks.  Not with your girlfriends, in the 1940s, not tonight.

Do not go with Tom Hanks.









....we are the Tom Hanks and love my babe Brigade!

the bones and feathers of an eaten pigeon i saw today

I mean,

those are some dirty things to say.
Why bring them up?
The weather's warm, the schools are bustlin'--

Lady, I'm lost two sentences
from where you were 40 years ago!

This is where they got you?  
I was Roger Rabit,
A gumshoe.

Fame was imaginary in '93.
Come back, in any season you're on.

Lil' 'bra on local hipster affiliate

-Little Brother...
-islyba.
-excuse me?
-It's leba!
-Are you drunk?
- It's lebra, bich!
-(aside) Tad, are you getting this?
- It's LeBra!
- (aside) He didn't have a root canal.  They like gold teeth.  Ok, you're a freakin moron.  I've had 
with you, just cause you're my sister-in-law's brother-
- LIL BRA.
- Ok, Lil' 'bra, how was it working with Sisyphus?
- Oh, what's happen' cap'n?  It's like CRUNCH!  Lil' 'bra, comin atcha! Ow!  I hasome denal work putin, yo man, Sis is good peeps, har woker.   Yo, allow me to leave white lady, I get back acha.
-(aside) Oh, fuck off, Tad.  At least I don't look like a frog.  Yea, eat me.

Lil' 'bra TrubleZome (fea. Sisyphus and Will Smith) - Pushin the rock

Can't stop
Pushin the rock
NO!
Pushin the rock
No!
Pushin the rock

Can't stop
Pushin the rock
NO!
Pushin the rock
No!
Pushin the rock

Can't stop!

Don't fall flat on your face.

We get up.

Aha-ha Aha-ha, gettin' jiggy-
(Yo, Lev, get him outta here) *

The boulder keeps rolling,
Gotta keep moving
Can't worry about the time
or what's yours or mine
-And If you think that's absurd
then you heard us!
We know what we got
and what to do wit 'er,

Cause We

Don't stop
Pushin the rock
No!
Pushin the rock
No!
Pushin the rock

We 

can't stop
Pushin the rock
No!
Pushin the rock
No!
Pushin the rock

Cause we

can't stop
Pushin the rock
No!
Pushin the rock
No!
Pushin the rock

Aha-ha Aha-ha, can Jayden get in on this?**

Pushin the rock
No!
Pushin the rock
No!
Pushin the rock

Yo, 'bra
let 'em have it!

It's like over the shoulder boulder holder,
I'm basketball star, then it's all over.
What do I got to take more than him,
Underneath the bridge sucking 
drips from the ceiling?

Yo, what you got, 'bra?
No hope!
Me, too! But we

Can't stop 
Pushin the rock
No!
Pushin the rock
No!
Pushin the rock

Can't stop 
Pushin the rock
No!
Pushin the rock
No!
Pushin the rock

Lil' 'bra and Sisyphus
two optimists, yo





* - Will Smith was promptly escorted out of the studio.
**- Will Smith was promptly escorted out of the building.

Don't tell anyone but I finished off a pint of Crown Royal.  Who am I kidding?  Who are you going to tell with, thus, your infinite littledom.  The Prime Minister?
See, the problem with Ron Paul, as is with most Republicans, is that they see America as it used to be.... hold on, I'm talking here!... Wait, what'd he say?  My hair?  Look at his hair!  Yea, right Pal!  You wish!  ...See the way I dealt with that bozo?...Oh what was I saying?  Oh, let's go down that street.  I think I saw a 24-hour laundry mat.

Later that Winter,

- So I tells him, 'Yea, Right, Up Yours Pal!  And I stick it in him. What do you mean, with what?  --I did too!  Yea, I did.  You weren't there--Don't listen to him!

And Later that Spring,

- And that's where we found those two rings!  That guy that owes us money, the homeless, who said he gave up living cause shaving took too long.  ...Oh, sorry, I meant paying the rent.  That guy tales us that these rings are time-travelers--I like if we used them we'd be Time Traveliers, or TimeBlasters (the wife's idea).  And I was like, "This bum just sold us Time Traveliers, or fake time travelers"...I forget, Honey... But they worked!
scariest way to throw someone in a furnace is to throw a couple people in before him, and let him watch.  and then slowly throw him in.

She got a rump like a sub-woofer

-Lil 'bra, great idea for your next music video!
- Oh, yea, what is it?
- You, sitting in a courthouse, or a grand jury indictment, in a fly suit, and all the cameras and the people's eyes are on you, awaiting your response, and you: laid back.
- Yee.
- While all the inquisition eyes are on you, with your arm hanging on the next chair, and your face: like brush your shoulders off.
- I can see it.
- You turn to the camera and say: All I want to do is a zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom!
- Uh huh! Uh-hu!
- Then all the suits go, "Just shake your rump," And then we just go into the song.
-What song?
-That song!  Isn't it great?
-... How is that going to be my video?
-What do you mean?
-That's not my song.
-It's not your song?
-No, it's not my song.
-...Can't we just tell people it's original?
- Nah G, I don't think so.  But give me a pen and a paper.
- How come?
- Cause I want to write some of his lyrics for my next one.
- Well, I got a better idea.  We pan into you holding the door open for a woman.
- Fuck yea!
- Then it's like, I don't want a lady, but a freak!
- Uh huh!
- She says, "Thank You," but you shake your head and..."All I want to do is a..."
- Earl!  It's the same issue.

Later on in the studio, (talking to a wise old black janitor)
 -Nice to see you do some work around here.
- What you mean?  I'm doing my share.  What, Levinstein sent you to talk to me?
- You and your brother.  You're like kids when you in the studio.  It must have been your papi.
- I remember when Pa would come home at night.  He'd stand erect and look around so mean.  "Who ate my old porridge?"  He'd say viciously.
-You mean, "ate all my porridge?"
-No, it was old.
-Oh.
-...And Mama Bear would hold me real tight in my bee suit from school--I always wanted to be a bee--cause we knew what would be coming.  And the sad part is ...(breaks down)...there was no porridge, there was never any porridge!   
   Hey wait, ain't you been done by crack what 2 years ago?
- I'm a ghost janitor!

.

so gouge out your eyes
and pull out your teeth
rip off your skin
Brake both of your knees

cause tonight is the night
that we give it a try
Tonight is the tonight
and we'll give it a try

...together!

so gouge out your eyes
And pull out your teeth
Rip off your skin
and brake both of your feet

oh baby
gouge out your eyes
pull out your teeth
rip off your skin
and break all your knees

cause baby,


Here's what critics and are saying about Lil 'bra TrubleZome:

"I heard it.  Now leave me alone."  -Peter Travis, Rolling Stone."

"A touching sermon to willpower and restraint, by another talent of the Wallace Wallace family.  Lil 'bra's themes challenge the modern and hackneyed portrait of the black man,  choosing between a microphone, a basketball court, or starting his own successful Bail Bonds and Security company as a way out of the ghetto."  -  Dr. J Quinn, A Piece for Time Magazine

Lil' 'bra TrubleZome

I'm like a crazy school teacher,
cause I inspire ya'
wouldn't wanna be ya,
ugh!  Bitch!

I'm like a sock teacher
who makes you take your teeth 
out at night

I'm like that young nurse bitch ho
I like to sleep comfortably in bed

I'm like a sock teacher!
Wouldn't wanna be ya!
(let your hands go if you know what I know)

I'm like a sock teacher!
Wouldn't wanna know ya!
(now all the kids go)

I'm like a sock teacher!
Wouldn't wanna be ya!

don't burden me
with yo troubles
Nah!

na-nah na nah!
Troublesome!





Be somebody, baby.
Be somebody.

Jameson

Some days you just gotta drink on the job.
It's what all great men do.
Be somebody.
I received a letter from the postman this afternoon.  It was from my son's school.  The weather was grey, and murky, and cool.  I decided to read the letter over some hot coffee by the window.  Apparently, he had some behavioral issues the principal wanted to discuss with me.  And apparently, he had pissed on the fern in the principal's office.  That was not possible, because I taught my son to piss in the toilet.  For him to do that would mean he is retarted.  Next time I see him, I'm going to piss on him.

hey-yooooo!

I had a cold and my throat was killing me, So I says to him, I says, "Quit smoking, Who do you think you are, James Dean?"

bozo

You think I give a shit about this holiday?  Everybody knows England won.

shameless

"I went to town
and I chowed down
like I was drinking from a cup of ambrosia.
and she came to
and she came, too
tell everyone
I discovered the cure
for a coma!"
in the dark again
they rest at nights with open windows
and nestle snugly with their lovers

some people don't have lovers
some sleep with their pets
and some with their monitors

some rub their little bellies until they drift to sleep
and some stare gazingly into their screens

some people don't even sleep
some do drugs in their underwear
and hide in their closets
guess I'll make some tuna-salad.  I think the homeymoon phase is starting to wear down
People say Nature is indiscriminate.  
And that the weather is unknowing--
merciless, yet without malice. 
I say fuck that shit.  

The heat supports rape in third-world countries; 
the heat hopes all the news is bad.  
The heat hopes your neighbor gets a new Cadilac, 
and that you get thrown out on your ass.  
The heat makes your parents dissappointed, 
and keeps your lover dissatisfied.  
The heat makes your pets sulk; 
the heat drops all your calls.  
The heat enjoys ticks and bed-bugs, 
and rubs blood and salt in your eyes.
The heat is a girl who wouldn't screw you; 
the heat is a debtor who flouts your calls.
The heat relishes remembering moments 
that shrivel up your pride.
The heat is a lousy TV dinner, headache, 
and an empty bottle of wine.
The heat is heartbreak and failure; 
the heat is your mother tired.



This is how people live.  They rest at nights.  They rest at nights because they are tired, and don't have to worry about getting murdered. They rest at nights with open windows, nestled snugly with their lovers.  Not everyone lives this way.  Some people kill each other.  Some wonder what's to stop another?  Darkness isn't necessarily dangerous. It can be peaceful and soothing, like a satisfied sigh and a gentle breeze. Some people corrupt the nighttime.  Some people take drugs and turn the music really loud.  It is dark outside but they shut their blinds, and inside there is light and depravity.  Some people are peeping.  Some people are sick; and some are not very good.  The morning light brings a new day.  Some people bring darkness with them.



cooking hour in pleasant valley


I think if you enjoy tuna in a can, you'll appreciate my quick tuna salad recipe.  It can come useful on lethargic evenings when you've neglected the workouts we discussed last week, and want to take it easy on the carbs for the night; or for a chance to get in some protein and make up some calories.  It's wonderfully easy.  I'll show you.  When it comes to canned tuna, I think we can all agree that the hardest part is getting the darn thing open! I know, I'm horrible.  

Well, I'm going to show you some simple ingredients that immediately add a Pleaset Valley flavor to a melancholy night and your can of tuna.  You'll want the typical components of the traditional salad: onions, diced tomotoes, and mayo.  Now, you don't need any more than a  modest teaspoon of the mayonnaise for flavor, and I'm going to show you why.  You're going to tantalize your palate with an array of fresh sources, namely cilantro, avocado slices, and a healthy touch of lemon.  As you can see, for one can of tuna and a limited amount of the fatty condiment, I'm dicing up a generous amount of cilantro and crisp tomatos, onions, and my avocado slices; and when I add this to my tuna you won't see a glob of wet, unruly looking fish, but a colorful landscape, beaming with virile energy. And you'll want to use a bowl that complements the wholesome feelings evoked by fresh lemon-yellow zest.  Notice, I have choosen a bowl with a healthy orange hue.  You'd want to sit down and paint small little green-and-red flowers on it with a thin brush.  It's magical!  I cannot tell you how many letters I receive from newly weds in Atwater Village, thanking me for finding the life of colors with my kitchen as they do with their ripped converse shoes.  I like a slight touch of sweet mustard with my new-look tuna salad; again, you don't need the mustard to scream "I'm here!" Everything is working together, everything in its right place.

Now, sprinkle some pepper in your Valley, and enjoy!

...

I gotta start my community service early in the morning.  I got 8 hours for tomorrow and a half-hour break. I bought some construction shoes and an ice-bucket; I'm packing a great lunch. I hope I get a chance to show it off. My sandwich is an avocado turkey selection with honey mustard and whole grain bread--Im getting about 15 grains on that thing. By substituting mayo and cheese for an avocado, I'm only getting in good fats. In a zip-lock bag, I'll have a couple servings of beef jerky, which I think is a good addition and an excellent source of protein. For a snack, I'll have a package of roasted seaweed chips; although to spice things up, I may opt for the wasabi flavor. My whole meal will contain less than 10 grams of fat, and most of that will be from friendly sources. For desert, I think I'll indulge in a cookies 'n creme protein bar. Now, the bar can be used as a meal itself; but in my selection, I chose one with limited calories and sugary carbs, but with a high protein ratio. It took me a while to find my ideal choice, as I would act nonchalantly if there were passersby in the aisle.

To make efficient use of my range of food options, I'm just going to have to persuade my Super to the idea that, instead of a lunch-break, I shall require six modest lunch-breaks. I'll have to get my complex carbohydrates earlier in the session, so as to use that fuel for energy throughout the day to give back to my community--obviously. Then, I shall only need to nibble on my protein sources in minute sessions to support a healthy metabolism. A rest under the shade of an oak tree out yonder, I feel, is in order for proper snacking and replenishment of fluids. And who knows what fruits of my labor will be compromised if my facilities are depraved of the crunchy goodness of pure protein whey isolate towards the latter stages as I feel my powers dwindling?

The bottom of my ice-bucket, I'll fill with ice and an assortment of bottled fluids and iced coffee. I choose the low-calorie iced-coffees, because I prefer my coffee black; but will opt for a low-fat milk selection, if it can't be avoided, because I'm cool like that, I'm cool like that, I'm cool like that, I'm cool like that, I'm cool like that, I'm cool like that, I'm cool like that, I'm cool like that. I'll place my food in my makeshift fridge, as well. Naturally, I will need to notify the Super at some point that I shall require a place to refill my ice-bucket.

I'm stuck on the issue of nuts--poly and monounsaturated nuts.  On the one hand, mixed nuts could bring about a communal bond; on the other, pecans and cashews are something you want in your private reserve.  Peanuts, maybe.  That says, "I'm with you comrades, but I am not bourgoise."

Now, cigarette breaks can be a touchy issue. I'll first inquiry as to whether smoking by activists is frowned upon, or outright prohibited. That should give us a platform upon which we can assess our negotiation options, or formulate our tactics accordingly.

Good day,
Sisyphus

two trout fishes
in a swimming pool
Baby, i'm gonna
eat your poo

two jerk chickens
in a country store
being jerks
to the customers

two ducks hunting
in a Range Rover
they're el-e-gant
bach-e-lors

two fox trotting out
of a convenience mart
with a  Moon Pie and
a two pints of booze

And the moo-cow goes:
Moooooo!
And the moo-cow goes:
Moooooo!

two free chickens
in a free-range range
and the range range range
and the range range range

two free chickens
in a free-range range
and the range range range
and the range range range

And the moo-cow goes:
Moooooo!
And the moo-cow goes:
Moooooo!

two trout chickens
in the fun-drink farm
half-past drunk with
the fox and ducks

two trout chickens
in the fun-drink farm
half-past drunk with
the fox and ducks

And the moo-cow goes:
Moooooo!
And the moo-cow goes:
Moooooo!





fun fact of the day:

In ancient times, the Muslim community's most besmirched member was he who was without clean feet. Distinguished members of the community, and commoners alike, not only frowned upon, but vehemently derided any man caught in such a sordid state, so to speak. Not only did feet bearing the putrid earth underscore impurities of skin and soul, but the rationale was if a man fails to keep his feet clean, how will he wrestle with the bear of a woman's insolence? He must, then, be likely to condone the reading of words by a woman, the adding of numbers on her fingers, and likely to allow her to eat the food she cooks for him--at the same table, in the same room.

Today that cloud of smoke is thinly veiled, and the once universal sentiment has dissipated through the years and contact with Western influences, handsome casanovas, liberal tourists, and pesky feminists. However, some purists still stick to their guns, or stones, as it were; and the remnants of the past can be heard in language alluding to its simple and absolute truths. When members of the community greet each other with, "Hasa ma lankum," the phrase--roughly translated--quite literally means, "I see that your feet are clean; and that makes you an honorable man."

And now, you can impart this wisdom to your hipster friends at wine, cheese, and prosciutto dinner parties. Or pot-lucks.

the wonder years

"Young girls get their hearts broken. Men and women suffer alone, over the choices they've made. And young boys, full of confusion... full of fear... full of love and courage... grow up stealthily in their sleep."