Live from the Comedy Store

--I read in the newspaper today, "Fred vows to kill a lion everyday to make the Brazil world cup squad."

  Wow, I've heard of press conferences, but he really stepped it up a notch!  Next time, you gotta assume he'll be slaughtering a goat!

- Who's Fred?

-- Usually in press conferences it's the Bolton manager, hoping his team wins the game!  Hey!  Let go of me!  Don't you people read the Telegraph?

Lil' 'bra TrubleZume - boxcar, baby

I'm like a boxcar that don't break

babydoll no oil leak

no rust 

on the part of the metal

no rust!

no fuss!

but i'll leave without you,

i won't break

no rust 

no fuss, babydoll

I remember when I met you

you thought I'd hesitate

but I fooled you

that night 

the lights were beaming

the stars from your eyes

and my gold teeth

but baby, i move without ya

i'm like a train,

boxcar, coming at you?

...Yo Lev, should the last line be move without ya, or....

I think he's talking about Mexico, and somewhere up on a local hill, he a left a purse and some kind of cloth.  The cloth was ripped and is dirty now, but the purse we found.

...oh man, is acoustic shit is bumming me out!

I'm going to listen to Rammstein.

My good friend, August, whose name is in August,
sent me an all-acoustic radiohead set disc.
first song was i might be wrong




i was like
....take me!

The Most Terrible Band in the world, who is the most Popular

( Press Conference)

-- we are  The Most Terrible Band in the world, who is the most Popular.

 - Hello, I am  __ J. Levinstein,   The Most Terrible Band in the world, who is the most Popular will field some questions, but they can only afford 15 minutes (big grin)

-- What does it mean to sport a goatee?

-- ( band member Chad #1) Oh, it's all about the sport.  Sporting is what I'm about.  Without sporting, I wouldn't be who I am.

-- To the Guitarist? :  Does it bother you that people say you workout and you have broad shoulders--

_ ( band member Chad #2) It's doesn't bother me.  I'm Chad!

-- But sir, you have been seen in clubs, in the coast, wearing tight shirts.

-- (band member Chad#2).  Gene, the weather was like that when I got there.  Now on the advice of counsel (Levinstein, big grin)--

im like a fluttering bird

what bird?

you shit the size of a tree trunk.

Hello.

Hello, hello ....Johnson?

- Do you hear that, Johnson?  echoing in the distance, droplets but to fail.


Johnson!  Johnson?   Where are you?

Johnson!  Johnson! Johnson!

Driblets, but from the eerie rain

It's a big

fuckin

black hole

...it's not even a hole!

There's no where to go!

Am I not thinking clearly?

There's no where to go.

Oh, well, guess it's back to suicide for me.  I'm retiring the phrase, "Suck the shit outta my ass."

It was funny at first.
Then it started getting graphic.

I don't know what it is about women in powersuits that makes me so fuckin horny.  I'm housing an erection that an LA County riot couldn't overthrow.

- Johnson, take a statement.  I shall dictate it.
- This is Anderson, sir.
- Dear sirs, important jesuits of the court
- That's pretty good, sir
- I am a mild, well-mannered employee of the city...a journalist, even.  If you convict me this very calm and understanding morning, the city shall fall in the hands of evil and third layer of depravity, after which we all shall fall.  Good Day, Mr. Cunningham Helmsley.  Read that back to me, Johnson.

I'm assuming CBS is here to cover my trial.

- Of course, back then  you get any girl west of the Mason-Dixon line, saying my brother would wrestle at all hours with Injun Joe, and I'd send her West of the Mississippi!  No one's going to stand around--no one in their right mind, at least--saying of my brother wrestling, and the like!  Like my brother would be wrestling!  I would give them a mind!  And they know!

I found her making bird noises
in the seventh grade

i found her making bird noises
i found her making bird noises

I remember when everybody was to or -for, in the issue of reform.  Of course, back then it meant, all the boys who ran up to Canada, to avoid the war and all, 

-- What my brother said, 'To Avoid the Big Dick.'  He always was peculiar with his words, but I assume Richard Dixon from his thoughts.  He joined the army at a young age, and sometimes when Kylie and Brenden would come over in third grade, he would like to wrestle them.  

I always liked the summertime.  Sandy Mae lived next block over, and my mother met her mom, so it was like okay, if she came over.  My brother would always come out the room when Sallie Mae would bring her brothers over.  It was like, we were family--he would always wrestle them, and wrestle them.

When I realized Sally Mae was a twat and had been sleeping with her Spanish tutor, I told my brother Fred, but he kept wrestling, and wrestling--I didn't want to bother them.

- the japanese holding the jungle!

(random guy in late night living room) Who fuck the do they think they are?

i got news for you

oh loyal reader, Thin red line is finally on Tv.

the multi language expo, team, maybe with teams

-- Sell that one, Johnson.  Sell that one.

-- Sir, I didn't know.  I though you fired me.

-- Sell that one, Johnson.  sell that one.

--  Sir, I feel like life's a building, collapsed upon me.

-- That's clever, Johnson.

-- And jerks are stories, like my teeth, crumpled in tea

-- Johnson, I'm pretty sure you should never repeat that.  Johnson!  I want you on my side.  

- Sir!  That's a great honor!  I thought you fired me!  This is really good for me.

-- Johnson, you are a pervert and I have to let you go.  Now don't let this put a damper on our evening....Du, sexu-al hivand-es, and I have to let you go.    But that's just only if you think of it in one language!  Johnson, I have an whole evening planned out for you! 

fuck off, Van Morrison! Yo get this loser out of here, and check his wallets, too!

Oh, the night is carefully interwoven,

but the night for one more dance.

Oh, the night is dangerously of spoken

by our parents, when we were young.

And the night, oh--but it's distasteful

by now, my young.

Can I, but more one dance?

by now, my love?

Can I,

 what's a* romance

Aristocrats!

Can I, but one more dance,

by now, my love?

....oh and you know the night, Gloria!

I will have, you!

(0rolly some drums)
like steps
(And the piano)
played by some hollywood hooker save the hookers band

and then

* by now, i think i pretty much forgot the song

This is how I imagine it will go down:

- (Howard) Eathkhash, you have mooned me.

- (Eatkhash) Suck bricks!

-(Howard) Oh, what a witty wording

- ((Eatkhash) Suck a fuck, Howard.

- ((Howard) Eatkhash, you are a fine specimen, putting me to shame.

- (Eatkhash) Suck the shits outta my ass, Howard!

- (Howard) Eatkhash, you are Langsten Hughes!

and then some bass lines,

and we start jammin

Don't worry, I got something planned for him.  I'm going to moon him.

I'm going to moon him on the freeway, one day.

"Suck my fuckin dick, Howard!"

While he's supervising others, my hairy armenian ass will blow his mind.

I have to go to court in the morning.  I'm not done drinking.  That's one case off my back.

I'll go in, still crying: here, here's your stupid paper, signed off by my racist supervisor.  I mean,  did you even see the face of Mrs. Petit?  That's her face, right there!  On the camera--she was raped and strangled, minutes after that!  That's her face!  Those are her eyes.  That's a mother.  That's a human being.

That fuckin sucks.

I was watching the Chesire Murders on HBO last night.  I remember reading of that case sometime ago.  I disturbed me to a degree that I'm certsin others also reached.  I caught it halfway through.  Then I smoked some weed and watched the whole thing again.   I wanted to see everybody's face.  I wanted the entire profound effect.  I researched the latest developments in the death penalty phase, and caught some interviews with the killers.  I wanted to hear their words.  The younger one, I believe, is a pyschopath.  The bald one, I,ve been trying to grasp, how much he hates himself. I went to sleep thinking about the murderers.  It's much easier, the fascination with Man's ability to induce terror, than that moment for the victims, that it consumes your entire being.  A young girl burning alive.  A little girl raped on a cell phone video--how the fuck do you deal with that?   I woke up three times in the night.  I locked my windows, and checked on them.  Sometimes, maybe I thought I got up, but I was still dreaming.

-- Fire that man, Johnson!

-- (Anderson) You mean Johnson, sir?

-- Anderson...weren't you squabbling around with that Suzanne?  Flirting, you hopeless romantic!

-- Sir, I'm not sure.

-- Try to resist me!  It's what I used to say to the interns.  Of course back then...

-- Some more cognac, Sir?

- Yo, this guy's taking a shit.

- Yo, word.

- (third guy) I hear that.

- (second guy) Yo, who that?

- (Enter James Montgomery Cunningham Helmsly)  Oh, that, that's my dear friend Johnson.  He is...unwell.

- Yo, man, I think he sniffing panties, yo!  I know that smell, and that shit is ultra-pungent, ahaha--feel me?

- Very good, very good, indeed!  (Knocks on door) Johnson, I think you have put us in a position here.

Taking a shit.  It's the most universal thing you can do.

Fornicating?  We can get by...

- well, babe, obviously not all of us.

But if you can take comfort from a good shit,

not a decent man alive will disturb your satisfaction.

taking a shit, a real man's countenance

You ain't going anywhere!
You ain't going anywhere,
and you know it.

In a room, by yourself,
in your Kirkland underwear,
dripping one bottle into another.

And spraying for ants!
...all night, just spraying for ants.
You're a miserable cunt
and you know it.

Shit, you wish.
You can be spraying for ants,
but I'm leaving.

That's because I clean up after you!
My whole life, just cleaning....

Well, what do you want me to say?
That bed bugs, bed bugs!
Are my closest friends?

What are you trying to say?
Are you impling?..
No! No, you can't be imply-

-My Best Friends!  Everyday I know they will be there!

Go!  go...
go, away from here.
Don't come back with your anger on me.

$150 bucks?  Cocksuckers.  They're always out to get me.

It's 500 bucks to be on the sideline.  Can you believe that shit?  A camera catches my face in a compromising position--forget it!  I lose all my mystique.  Better get the cheap tickets and try to sneak down.

Los Blancos are in town.  Saturday night, Dodger stadium.  Eatkhash finally gets the call.

Zidane is standing, clapping...Ronaldo comes in for a picture

-Get the hell out of my spotlight, Ronaldo!

I say to him, magnanimously.

It's the bottom of the 9th,

I get the final shot,

the bases are loaded!
The crowd is going wild,
Andre the Giant is lugging a bathtub,
James Worthy is eating children,

free throw, shwish!

touchdown!

touchdown!

touchdown!

- Johnson, where is Johnson?

- (from a distance, arriving)  Right here, sir!

- Johnson!  Oh, good!  You have been missing.

- Sorry sir, I was in the hospital--

-- You have been away.

-- Yes, sir, I have a problem--

-- Johnson!  I want you in our latest effort.

-- Stealing panties, Sir!

-- Johnson!  Let's not speak nonsense.  Let's us be honest.

-- Sir!  Yes, sir.

-- What are we missing?

-- Panties, sir!

-- Johnson, you're smarter than you look.  I want you spear-heading this thing,

- Sir, Yes Sir!

- Really streamlining.  Now do you know what that means?

--Sir, Yes Sir!

--  Good.  Streamlining.

i know

life is

getting shorter

i want to live with my babe in the woods

Paul Thomas Anderson is best known for "There Will Be Blood" and for movie buffs, "Boogie Nights."  But his greatest work, I feel, is a jewel called "Magnolia."  There, he basically got carte blanche from the studio to do whatever he wanted, following the sucess of "Boogie Nights."  "Magnolia" is the greatest film I've ever encountered, and I'll die a happy man knowning I've loved her.

....Best at sports

- Yo, it's yo boy, Lil 'bra, live at redding studios, 97.1

- Mr. lil boy.

- Wasup! Wasup! wasup! Wasup!

- Sir, good sir.  The rumors we heard are true.

- Hello?

- You are an enemy of Rev. Jess Jackson!

- Are we on?

-  Are we on, indeed! Good sir!   Evading like a snake, a fornicator! with white woman!

- Yo man, I think....it's like Mick Jagger before a Stones concert!

- ( concert promotor). Shut up!  You hate jews!  You are an anti-semite.

- Excuse me?

- You're fired!   I'm firing you.  You're an anti-semite.

-  Sir, I'm pretty sure that wasn't a Spielberg movie

- You're fired.  Get out!  You hate Jews.  You're an anti semite, you hate the child in the red balloon!  You support Palestine!  You're a terrorist.
- I wish I never quit playing piano, Sir!

How 'bout lacroose?

...best at sports

How 'bout badinminton?

...best at sports

Black people are the best at sports...

Best at sports...

How bout Hockey?   ...best at sports

How bout foxy boxing?  ...best at sports!

- Little Brother Troublesome...

- Listen, I'm sick of you white weather  girls moving your ass like the chimes of time.  My name is Lil' 'bra Trublezome.   I've been on this show three times in the last month!  I ain't no children eater.  I feel like because my older brother,  is banging that blond chick, yea....hehe, ya, that Her.  I ain't getting no respect!

- No respect?

- Bitch, I said no respect!

Lil' 'Bra TrubleZume - Cumbersome

The wily to the nily,

baby, im spitfire,

I'm hot when you need it!

Yo, I know your man

goes to work for the man
and by workin he be workin
for the man, Gerald,

and I know you

When he gets home,
that's why you run to your man

Baby, I got you!

An old wise man once told me, baby,

"Yo I got this!"

So if you seeking pleasure on the brine,

baby, this here yo palace on the brine!

Yo, I know he can't be comforting you much,

Baby, he cumbersome!

Ugh!

Lil 'bra,

ain't not cumbersome!

Let this be a lesson, to the rest of you hamsters.
If you are, or would like to,
or even get a whiff of the Like-to...s

I will drink ya!

The ants--I drink them.
I drink the ants!

Dear Sirs,
I am an ant.
I am in Eatkhash!s cup.

Oh no.
That rat bastard,
Where is he taking me!

There's an ant in my cup.
There's an ant in my cup.

There's an ant in my cup.
There's an ant in my cup!
There's an ant in your cup?
There's an ant in my cup!

If he thinks he's getting off scot-free!

(Congraulations, soldeir.
You did it clean.
You made us proud.)

I'm going to drink that cup!
You're going to drink that cup?
I'm going to drink that cup!
And I will change my son's diaper.

Don't take no shit from no one!

What's the frequency, EatKhash?
You're cool
why are you,
so cool?

I never understood
the frequency
of Eatkhash.

- The dogs are hungry, sir.
- Did you tell them I'll sell them to China.
- Yes sir, they saw you eating BBQ ribs, earlier.
-...Shit.
-They're going to be waiting for awhile.
- Well then tell them to open the goddamn refrigerator door!  I'm doing some high-tech stuff here.
- Yes, sir.  I think they're looking at you funny, sir!  Sir, if I may, I think they are turning into the children of the corn.
- Will you shut up, Johnson!  They are not turning into the children of the corn.
- Sir, I think they know about the panties I stole.
- Johnson, I'm pretty sure even your mother knows about that.
- Sir, I think they know I stole all those panties.

Don't need nuthin
But a good time
80s hair metal band,
why can't I be in your entourage?

One of the funniest scenes from the Sopranos S.6 is after A.J. tells Tony he wants to be a helicopter pilot for some rich guy, then he later says he wants to  join the army or navy, Tony says something along the lines, "I don't get it.  Are you going to ask the Donald for some time off for your missions?"

And A.J. goes, "Everything's a joke to you."

Rarely do beauty and virtue dwell together, as they do in me.

My lucky numbers are 02 14 7 and 16

On the Next Co. Board Room

-Yes, sir, my wife said you wanted to see me?

-Anderson, tell me all you know about processed cheese.  I want to know everything.

It pangs me some nights, Oh, loyal reader.   Keeps me up into the prelude, and then dawn, and the chirping of the birds.  Light brings some kind of calm.  But I know.  Deep down I know.  

There Are times when I'm wholly alone.  And it afflicts me--the affliction.  Sartre talks of troubled sleep.  He's 4'6--what does he know?

I've heard of the Lockness.  The giant of the sea.  Late at night on the deck of a cruise ship out to sea.  In the night, where your darkest passions flicker upon your greatest fears.  

There's a monster out abound.  And it keeps calling me.  Inside I know--I'm about to produce the greatest giant, the monster, that this world has ever seen.  I try to run home.  But I can only skip like Mr. Bean.

Inside I know.

I'm going to be responsible for the greatest turd in the history of the world.  

Andre the Giant!  Where do you keep your famous bathtubs?

"This just dropped hot on my lap. Nanc Alvarez with you from 91.7 KCOC"

Let's be friends
ugh!
Yea, let's be friends

Baby, let's be friends
ugh!
Yea, let's be friends

Cereal Killa,
ever1 is vulnerable

in the evenings,
in the night.

before supper,
before brunch.

Let's be friends,
babydoll.

The Mayonnaise Co. Board Room

-Men.  Oh, and Susanne--we need some innovative new strategies.  We have the sandwich market cornered.  Anytime someone makes a sandwich, they think of us.  But we need a new...alley... a new stream--We need to tap into a new market, if you will.  A new market that shows consumers we're not just for putting on your bread when you make a Mutton and Cheese sandwich, No.

- Well sir, how about we create a European flavor, so people can dip their French fries?

- Are you kidding?  Do you know how much that would cost us, Anderson?  Besides, the Europeans are fags.  Americans are the best consumers.  (looks out the window) Good ol fat Americans.  They want their cake and...Wait a minute! How bout pastries and baked goods!

- Cakes, sir?

- Desserts!  They want to be fat? We can make them fatter!  Cakes use eggs; mayonnaise has eggs.  I can't believe you morons didn't think of this earlier.  Susanne, get the lab team started on some recipe that uses our product--and a whole lot of it- in making a cake!  If we can substitute it for butter, even better.  I hate those bastards.  Have all new labels printed with those recipes by shipping time.  

- Sir, what about the people who do not buy mayonnaise because they report not to like the taste?  Should we introduce them--

- We're developing a special plague for those people.  (looks out the window) Don't you worry about them... We're finished here.

I'm not telling them how to do their job.  They know what they're doing.  Maybe in imitation crab they found a fish they couldn't otherwise market on its own to the public, and they decided to dress him up as a crab.  Of course--instead of not capturing at sea.   

I mean, you don't see imitation shrimp.  Imitation scallops.  

Why do they have imitation crab, and not imitation lobster.  You gotta figure imitation lobster would be more popular, on account of all the people who would like to eat lobster but can't afford it.  You could have imitation lobster that you could buy for home.  And the same with caviar.  But you gotta make sure the falsh ones taste the same as the real thing, just like a gucci purse.  So the real superficial ones can try to pass it off as the real thing, and only a discerning eye--or in this case, palate--can tell the difference.  A real rich bastard.

And you can bet this becomes an issue when some real rich dad plans a wedding for his daughter in the bangquet hall.  "That better be the real thing!"

"Yes sir, I assure you it is."

You never really know.

The Big Mac and the 11 appeared at the same time from McDonalds.  The two new burgers, the Big Mac was larger than life, and the 11 was shy and humble.  The Big Mac was 34 years old, and the Eleven, a mere 17.  The Big Mac was insatiable, the Eleven never gave in to their demands, and remained obstinate. 

The Eleven was a slow seller, and was gradually, and then largely forgotten.  The Big Mac grew in fame but not actual size.

you guys can play along in your stupid little blog, but i'm going to sleep.

You want me to dance.

So you can drink all my juice.

In this cut-throat dance and juice world.

They all want me dehydrated and thirsty,

when I go on for my dance,

my throat parched.

Those nasty peasants,

old-wives tales,

bitter resentful 

miserable cunts.

It's a rough sport.

Shit, I could dance if I wanted to.
I could dance.
Who are you to say anything different--
Who. the. hell. Are You.?

I could dance.
Man, I could dance.

Now let's smoke some weed baby, under the mulberry tree.

from the muddy banks

"Polly says her back hurts,
She's just as bored as me.
She caught me off my guard,
amazes me the will of instinct"

Cereal Killa - Let's be friends

Hey Baby,

saw you at the java spot,

umm yea-

hazelnut syrup.

Brown sweater,

warm scarf-

ugh!

Let's be friends,

yea,

Let's be friends,

yea

Whacha readin, babygirl,

A People's History?

Yum, Howard Zimm.

Let's be friends,

ugh!

Let's be friends

Suga, you know

Barnes 'N Noble 

ain't happenin' no more.

I know a spot,

where we can,

where we can,

ugh!

Let's be friends!

yea,

Let's be friends!

I love your brain.
Yea, I love your brain.

Wanna cook your brain,
Yea, I want to cook your brain.

And there's a hole in your head.

Now there's a hole in your ass

Now there's a hole in your ass

there's a hole in your ass
Now there's a hole in your ass

(They go)

"There's a hole in your ass?

there's a hole in your ass?

There's a hole in your ass!

how the hell did a hole

how the hell did a hole

how the hell did a hole

Now there's two boys on a girl

there's two boys on a girl

there's two boys on a girl

twice the fun and thrice as nice

there's a man at the door
there's a man at the door

peeping through the little hole
peeping through the little hole

there's a camera in the room
there's a camera in the room

you are not alone
you are not alone

how the hell did a hole?

languish-

to remain in a capsule
in a little hole
while the memories
in your head,
like dirt

tooth ache and decay
a bitter pill
encapsulated

you can stick that
in a hole
in your anus

Things to do to curb cravings

(AKA Things to do to do not do the things I should not do, whereby "Not" is a positive, and affirming)

1. Put a sock over my dog's face and watch her go, "Wha happen??"

2. Think of ways to increase sales.

3. Look up attorneys.

4. Sing the "Log Song"

5. Research specific branches of counseling suited to my wants or needs, but more like wants

6. Take the sock off the poor dog's face.

7. Write a strongly-worded letter to someone high up.

8. Actively avoid dwelling on certain stimuli or languishing in a memory.

And the Winner is,

 
   "What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs, Rolls over your neighbor's dog?
    What's great for a snack and fits on your back?
    It's Log, Log, Log! 

 It's Log, Log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
    It's Log, Log, it's better than bad, it's good!
    Everyone wants a log! You're gonna love it, Log!
    Come on and get your log! Everyone needs a Log!"

except at 6am

-No fire.
-what?
-No fire.
-he said no fire.

nice and melancholy,
there's a fire in my heart

- Excuse me, why do you keep looking my way like that?

-Sorry...I just couldn't stop I guess.

- (smiles)

- I liked your smile.  Your smile made me smile.

- You never smiled!  Why don't you smile?

- I know, I can't ever force a smile.  It's veryoff putting to strangers.  I can laugh, and get a smile out of that.  I don't have the face for it, I guess...

- I'm Katrin.

- Eatkhash.

- I know.  You've been served, Eatkhash.

- Goddammit!  Not again!  Fuckin bitch.

It's 12 in the afternoon.  I can hear my neighbors speaking with each other on their patio.  I want to climb over in my underwear, like I'm a part of their family.

"What's going on, guys?  I brought my own packets of ketchup.  You don't have to worry about me.  It's Heinz.  Or do you prefer Hunts?  Oh no, you prefer Hunts, don't you?"

Thor

Subtle, my ass.  Guy's too dumb for that.  He's got real long fingers though, like real skeleton bones fingers, I'll give him that much.  That's impressive.  And I saw him bust out a Yo-yo at lunch break.  That was pretty cool.  I know he's a pervert, though.  I saw the way he was looking at Misty, it was like me in my mind, but I'm not 56 and have grandchildren.  I'm still 18, or at best 21, 23 maybe.  A drug addict's brain works differently, that's why we're a drain on the health care system.    I'm thinking of keying his car, or broaching the issue with a known mobster like Jeff Garlin.

My dogs say we should sleep.

And I say,

Shut up, dogs.

I'll send you to China!

That's some goodass clearance turkey and provolone.  Was $4.69.  Is now $2.81.  I looked around, stuffed the baguette in my pants.

Shut up,
Shut up, children!
Tom Hanks says shut up, children!

The Tom Chips woth Tom Hanks, the Tom Hanks and Chips show!

Tom Hanks, (late for class, coffee breath for the children:). Well, children!  Let's not stand around, I know you think I'm adorable!  With my new business venture, your parents ain't paying for pleasure.  They are paying--Hey!  Stupid kid.  This is the Tom Hanks Show!

They are paying to see me talk to their children, which is you!

So--no, no no no, don't cry.

This is James Worthy, tfrom the Lakers and your nightmares, telling you to shut your eyes.

Be good for your parents, 

or we'll fuck you up.

Do Not listen to the Tom Hanks!

No, stupid.  We are the Tom Hanks Brigade.

I mean you ever see the Thin Red Line?

Probably deep or gripping or or it'll tear out your heart...Tom Hanks?

We will tear out your heart, Tom Hanks?

Do Not see Tom Hanks.  Not with your girlfriends, in the 1940s, not tonight.

Do not go with Tom Hanks.









....we are the Tom Hanks and love my babe Brigade!

the bones and feathers of an eaten pigeon i saw today

I mean,

those are some dirty things to say.

Why bring them up?

The weather's warm, the schools are bustlin'--

Lady, I'm lost two sentences

from where you were 40 years ago!

This is where they got you?  

I was Roger Rabit,

A gumshoe.

Fame was imaginary in '93.

Come back, in any season you're on.

Lil' 'bra on local hipster affiliate

-Little Brother...

-islyba.

-excuse me?

-It's leba!

-Are you drunk?

- It's lebra, bich!

-(aside) Tad, are you getting this?

- It's LeBra!

- (aside) He didn't have a root canal.  They like gold teeth.  Ok, you're a freakin moron.  I've had 

with you, just cause you're my sister-in-law's brother-

- LIL BRA.

- Ok, Lil' 'bra, how was it working with Sisyphus?

- Oh, what's happen' cap'n?  It's like CRUNCH!  Lil' 'bra, comin atcha! Ow!  I hasome denal work putin, yo man, Sis is good peeps, har woker.   Yo, allow me to leave white lady, I get back acha.

-(aside) Oh, fuck off, Tad.  At least I don't look like a frog.  Yea, eat me.

Lil' 'bra TrubleZome (fea. Sisyphus and Will Smith) - Pushin the rock

Can't stop

Pushin the rock

NO!

Pushin the rock

No!

Pushin the rock

Can't stop

Pushin the rock

NO!

Pushin the rock

No!

Pushin the rock

Can't stop!

Don't fall flat on your face.

We get up.

Aha-ha Aha-ha, gettin' jiggy-

(Yo, Lev, get him outta here) *

The boulder keeps rolling,

Gotta keep moving

Can't worry about the time

or what's yours or mine

-And If you think that's absurd

then you heard us!

We know what we got

and what to do wit 'er,

Cause We

Don't stop

Pushin the rock

No!

Pushin the rock

No!

Pushin the rock

We 

can't stop

Pushin the rock

No!

Pushin the rock

No!

Pushin the rock

Cause we

can't stop

Pushin the rock

No!

Pushin the rock

No!

Pushin the rock

Aha-ha Aha-ha, can Jayden get in on this?**

Pushin the rock

No!

Pushin the rock

No!

Pushin the rock

Yo, 'bra

let 'em have it!

It's like over the shoulder boulder holder,

I'm basketball star, then it's all over.

What do I got to take more than him,

Underneath the bridge sucking 

drips from the ceiling?

Yo, what you got, 'bra?

No hope!

Me, too! But we

Can't stop 

Pushin the rock

No!

Pushin the rock

No!

Pushin the rock

Can't stop 

Pushin the rock

No!

Pushin the rock

No!

Pushin the rock

Lil' 'bra and Sisyphus

two optimists, yo

* - Will Smith was promptly escorted out of the studio.

**- Will Smith was promptly escorted out of the building.