Cereal Killa - ....(Elisa Gilbert). Just such a sad story, under our noses, to think,
So the bitch got raped and the bitch got raped
like feel me?
your daughter and her father watching!
umm!
So the bitch got raped and the bitch got raped!
ummm!
slam your cunt, bitch!
like
....slap!
suck my face, bitch!
Next on the Eatkhash show
--Male, 26, Some Black guy (maybe not even a black guy, courting a 15 year old girl) : Hey, are you finding what you're fitting for?
--Female, 15 year old, : I'm with my mom, she keeps poking in!
--Male, 26: Umm yea! Listen keep it on the down-low!
--Female,15: Yes, mi amor! because if my dad ever found out, he would have your head on all your neighbors lamp posts! Plus, you would have to explain yourself to people who thought they knew you.
--Male, 26: ...shit! Yea, whatever baby, you ready for some of this "CumnGitSum?"
--Female, 16: Plus, I'm sure at some point someone would notice your huge emongis cock! pricking out of your pants and all, every time you see me in a skirt.
--Male, 26, throbbing: That's why I'm never disappointed, little girl!
I have an idea for a movie. A woman stops by a liquor store in the middle of her day to buy, I don't know, what do women drink in the middle of the day? some iced tea beverage. She overhears a customer and a clerk talking about the powerball jackpot, and she muses cutely, telling her husband that evening, "Honey, you might want to sit down for this..."
She looks up, some guy has a gun. Things happen, he shoots the clerk and she tries to run. He tries to go after her, she runs into the middle of the street pleading with cars. Some guy tells her to get in, he drives down a block with her while she's frantic and he pulls into an alley.
she tells him what she can, he says yea, nodding, looking around and he punches her in the face. He looks around again, and proceeds to rape her.
Once he's done with her body, he kills her. That's it.
Lil' 'bra (feat. N'famous Child Eatr) - Taking sucks
I'm like an asteroid.
When I get popped, I'll impact the world.
Where's your lover, baby?
Buying milk and suga?
(N'famous) Yo, I know the mexicans at 7-11s
taking sucks out of the half-n-half
(Lil' 'bra'). Ummm! Hazelnut at lunchtime, feel me?
I also don't like cold whiskey. I guess I have more in common with the Brits than I thought. I can't tell if it's cold or not cold enough. Dude, weren't we, like, supposed to not like cold whiskey?
--I don't know, dude, you were going on about your sex affair with the Brits. Now move this couch down over there!
Sly, like a fox!
I woke up late for work. I didn't think I should waste time taking a shower, but I had to make myself look presentable. I shaved enough for them to at least know I'm trying. I opened the window too see if my neighbor's hot wife was about. An unexpected wind blew a gusto at me and I caught a whiff of myself. I thought I'd do a quick tune up. I grabbed some washcloths and started splashing underneath my arms. I warmed up the wash cloths and and put some hand soap on them, applied them gently but assertively, then started splashing about again. I threw those on the ground and wet some more wash clothes and rinsed and dried with more wash cloths. Then I grabbed a bottle of some spray I swiped from an old folks home--it's used by nurses on patients who can't clean themselves. I put one leg up on the sink, supporting myself, and went to work spraying. Then I got more wash clothes. Then I put up my other leg--wait a minute! I don't need to do that. It's a shame, I thought, that they discontinued this product. Then I stuck my head in the sink and shampooed under the running water. I was done. I was fresh and clean. There was water and wash cloths all over the place. You, you sly dog, you! The whole incident took about 47 minutes.
Yes I will have some tomatos and eggs. That'll go lovely with my wine.
What you do is, you first peel the skin off the tomato. Unfortunately, you won't have this luxury option with all tomatoes, only the finest. He will now thinly slice the fresh grown tomato, and spread them on a buttery skillet. You must first take care of the tomato. Let it simmer. Get a fire going. Let it cook.
Good. That's good, baby. Then you can drop in the eggs.
-What's good?
-That's goo--well, look who joined our show, International Brotha Love!
-What's good?
-That's goo--well, look who joined our show, International Brotha Love!
Another thing I learned, but this is for the detox tank, see they take off your socks--can you believe that shit, babe, somebody else took off my socks!--and the ground is really cold. So what I did, see what I did was I wrapped toilet paper around my feet. But I ended up using the entire roll.
"Let me get some paper."
"No."
"C'mon man, I gotta take a shit."
"Get away from me!"
There were no pillows in county. You had to use the towel that they gave you as a pillow. So that means you had to decide, do you want a pillow, or do you want to keep shivering? And another thing, there were no girls in jail. It was all full of dudes! I don't know how anybody could stand that place.
-- ( Ben Cartwright, adorable gay show host) Brotha Love began on the nightly EatKhash show, as your lovely, adorable regular neighbor tax cheat. Of course, I lived in San Francisco, and back then if I called my neighbor lovely or adorable, I don't know if he'd kiss me or kill me! Oh behave! Or don't behave, if this camera had a hole in the screen!
With me today, Brotha Love, tax cheat, lover ex-tra-ordinnaire, and new citizen of another sexy country!
International Brotha Love
I'm getting pretty good at impulsively making up my own words in my first-language, where in this city, is my third-languauge--of course, behind Seduction.
I was talking to my grandpa. I said,
"Let me see your legs."
He showed me his legs.
I said, "I don't get it. You're not that hairy; dad's not that hairy. Why am I so hairy?"
He looked down quickly smiling, "It fell off."
I responded, "So you lost hair up there, and then there? Oh man!" I laughed for awhile.
He said, "Well, where did hair come from? Weren't we full of hair all over our faces and bodies back then?"
"Well they say, we were apes, and then we were black,--"
"Right, so--"
"Maybe there was something in the grass back then....I guess...Thanks, Grandpa!"
On this episode of Paranoid guy that just found out he's not beingchased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret GovernmentIdentity
(Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity): I just want to know the story behind that smoke detector...it has been all over me.
(Government Source): Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity, is that your name?
(Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity): What?
(Government Source): Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity, are we correct in inferring that is your name?
(Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity): Sirs!
(Government Source): Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity, don't be cute.
(Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity): Yes, sirs! You are correct in assuming, Sirs!
(Government Source): Indeed.
(Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity): Sirs, ai just thought I was saving time and being effecient with my response, Sirs!
(Government Source): Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity, are you trying to suck my dick, soldier?
(Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity): Sir, No, Sirs!
(Government Source): Are you searching proudly for the shits outta my ass?
(Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity): Sir, No, Sirs! ....absolutely not, sir. Holy Jesus!
(Government Source): Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity, are you religious, soldier?
(Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity): Jesus, help me Jesus.
(Government Source): Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity, will you ever drink blueberry beer again?
(Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity): No, Heavens no!
(Government Source):Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity Hmm, hmm...hmm
(Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity): No, Heavens no!
(Government Source):Paranoid guy that just found out he's not being chased by the government, but still Must Assume his Secret Government Identity Hmm, hmm...hmm
See usually if I lower my arm or tap my fingers my dog will come over to my hand, but if she wants to. If not, she'll look up pretending like she doesn't know what i know she's thinking. So i tapped and she didn't want to come over, but then I thought--maybe if i keep tapping my hand enough, it'll annoy her to the point where she'll say fine and she'll come over so i can rub her neck.
Lil' 'bra and N'famous Child Eatr meet with Levinstein
- Hey guys? She take care of you? We have a bunch of 40s in the back.
-- (Lil bra) Lev, cut the shit.
-- (child eater). Yea man, I can't even order a steak no more.
--( Lev). Why, it comes up dry? Sorry, I had some wine earlier. What's up guys?
--(Lil bra). Yo, we need him where we got him, where he needs to be!
-- (Lev). What?
-- ( N'famous child eater). Yo, Lev, I thought we had some plans, long term, or at least it felt like...
-- (Lev) Look, Orenthal--
-- (Lil bra). Yo man, he needs to be a raptor!
-- ( Lev). What?
-- ( Lil bra) when Toronto was a Saurus, feel me?
-- ( Lev). Orenthal? Can you explain to me, exactly what your brother is saying?
-- (Lil bra). ....He needs the jerk like a chicken, feel me? And jerk it, too!
-- (N'famous child eatr): Clive, will you shut the fuck up!
-- (Lil bra) Yo, I got the gold teeth!
-- (N'famous): Lev, I thought we had something planned out for me. We got my brother involved, and that Canadian Jesus rock band. Where's my flame?
-- (Lev) Oh, it's that Cereal Killa! He's got your heat.
-- (N'famous). My heat? you mean my wrath? Should I get Alisha? Is she in danger?
-- (Lev) No, it's just that you eat children, but he rapes younger women (liberals 15-24). Children don't buy records.
-- (N'famous) Oh man, this shit is really bumming me out! This shit is really bumming me out! It's like I don't even want to eat children no more!
--(Levinstein). Get a hold of your boy, Lil 'bra! He flies out of his contract, I'll eat your children!
--(Lil 'bra). ...shit! If you can track em all down!
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