Sly, like a fox!

I woke up late for work.  I didn't think I should waste time taking a shower, but I had to make myself look presentable.  I shaved enough for them to at least know I'm trying.  I opened the window too see if my neighbor's hot wife was about.  An unexpected wind blew a gusto at me and I caught a whiff of myself.  I thought I'd do a quick tune up.  I grabbed some washcloths and started splashing underneath my arms.  I warmed up the wash cloths and and put some hand soap on them, applied them gently but assertively, then started splashing about again.  I threw those on the ground and wet some more wash clothes and rinsed and dried with more wash cloths.  Then I grabbed a bottle of some spray I swiped from an old folks home--it's used by nurses on patients who can't clean themselves.  I put one leg up on the sink, supporting myself, and went to work spraying.  Then I got more wash clothes.  Then I put up my other leg--wait a minute!  I don't need to do that.  It's a shame, I thought, that they discontinued this product. Then I stuck my head in the sink and shampooed under the running water. I was done.  I was fresh and clean.  There was water and wash cloths all over the place.  You, you sly dog, you!  The whole  incident took about 47 minutes.