Now that Real has Chicharito, faggedabdid!

That goes with the Asian beef donut shop post.  I can't believe I forgot that.  So much beauty in it.  It's too much to go back.  It's all too much, man!

- Lover?

- Yes, my 2mg?

- You promised me certain things when you convinced me to marry you...

- ...your mother-in-law...

-  Don't try that shit with me, man!  I'll...

guys i gotta go, she's turning me on

The heart wants what it wants—ah , you said it Selena Gomez. Leonard Cohen? Bah! Sorry my lovable 2mgs

Honestly, I'm not in a bad mood tonight. I just happen to be sitting at a bus stop getting my refuel on.  What Im more concerned about was that i discovered that there is such a thing as butter toffee cashews.  I saw peanuts, I've had honey cashews—oh yea, I had them when she was good—and so there are.  But it's like eating rocks.  Either they're old or my teeth...yea don't sit at a bus stop where people might recognize you.

"Jeez, this is kind of embarassing—ah man, there's more people in the backseat?"

My heart  wanted Vietbamse or Thai

I'll fuckin eat this whole city

I was standing there debating lf a man can get a king's meal for 20 bucks, like shit he—you ever see that doc about the guy from the Fugesss i think who goes undercover homeless, but he slends it all at a fancy restaurant?  Lots of criticism.  These fuckin Indians closed the door on me—everyone's homeless to them.  Pamphlet said a bush:

I got someone at nights.  She's called XanaX.

Oh man, I just saw the inside of an S550.  Guy had pulled over.  His baby was crying. All the doors were open.  So I stuck my head in the cabin—blue lights everywhere ambience up the ass.  I hope im alive in 200 years so I can shrug.  Yea, well my bzbe had class, why do you think she got with me?  I think im broke.  Yea, I got a guy.  My personal ATM.  Im in the NMOB.  .  I threaten him.  I'll shed your skin.  If that deposit isn't made, I'll sit on your wife.  I'll throw your son over the basketball hoop.  Oh no, he goes—He's fuckin with me.  I know he's eating Bird's Milk from that new fancybakery. 

Oh yea, guy's arguing with his wife on the phone, I can hear over the 

wall, "You can...the christmas gifts...I'm done!"  Maybe his girlfriend.  I cut the smile once he walked in.  It was him.  I'd be due for one on the nose for being a voyeur.

It's changing colors.  Is this shit gonna get bunk on me and end up costing me another 8 bucks for the 99 cents, ah! it's in the title "Les Disposibles."

No man, look—I mean, check it!  It's a window.  It's a strip of a window, so you can see the amount you're pouring in.  These guys are adorable!

For a $1.75, you fed me well—I told you Blogger's been fuckin with me, they're gelus, obviously—Del Taco, with my bag of pork rinds and a water cup for sprite—of course, in the camera it looks clear so they can't be blamed.  After the meal I wanted to get up and thank them after fuckin IHOP.

thought id do a real quick scouting mission for something

Fuck that, Nothing Good ever comes Out of Glendale.  I don't know what I was thinking.  Lemon, Out!

This disposable flask is doing wonders for me.  Cause....it's indisposable!  At 99 cents, I should have bought like 6 of these. I've been recommending it to people.

" Bar looks boring? Can't find an angle to butt in without inflating your bartab?  Barkeep not laughing at your jokes?  That soulless shot?  Doesn't he or she know who you is?  And you'll probably have to tip for that, too?  You're pathetic!

Fear no longer, my friend.  I have something for you.  Don't look yet...ok, look now.  Oh yea.  Yea, you see it.  The possibilities are endless.  Drink in the alley, my friend.  Take your—eat food with that money...Shit, drink in the produce department with that money.  Faggedabudid.  Hey, I can get you like six more of these.... Oh yea, I think I have a pamphlet somewhere—well, we recommend going in the bushes when no one's looking.  "

- Chuck Hagel stepped down, huh?

- What?

- Chuck Hagel stepped down, huh?

- Oh yea, it was unexpected. 

- Mmm yea,

- Just this?

- You got any cashews?  

- Yea, right there?

- King Henry?  Not a fan.  Packaging is impersonal.

- And we have some over—

- Just the Fantasy 5.  I'll be around.

The first bus driver I liked, cause he gave me a look after I asked him for directions certain and once he explained and I got a couple pretentious jokes in,  Nothing Good ever comes out of Highland Park! Nope no appaulse, and he realized you just wasted your money for driving down the block.  

The second driver, not so much.  I put in two dollar bills and he said "Thank You."  I tried to mutter something he said No. He's jaded.

I got the wedding invite.  I was trying to ignore him for the last couple weeks.  Usually I get excited if ____ wants to do something.  I tried to tip-toe for a moment—i had to think this out—he goes "Don't pull an Artin on me."  To my defense, I was fresh off a binge.    What do these guys know about my binge?  He thinks I didn't go cause I would rather go get fucked up somewhere else.  That and because we had talked before about how once he got a girlfriend, that was it.  Me and him were close, or at least I thought we were, then he got his girl—i get it, he was a fat curly haired philosophy major who liked country music and drove a cool cop car—I just wasted $1.75 not planning my route— He was the smartest guy we had.  I can recall him driving me around while I got drunk after they got close at the Big Bear retreat, or hanging out much after that—this asian lady missing teeth is singing next me.  Im not going to take a picture.  Too much class.  Not a hipster.  I thought she was on a blue tooth or disgruntled.  Nope, just singing...ona popo, ona popo, ona popo.  Too much class—I'll transcribe it.  So I didn't say anything about it for two years, suffered in silence i did, ona popo you know?  Then in a drunken fb message i ranted one night, "don't you ever feel bad that you ignored all your friends?"

He replied, "the only one i ever felt bad about was you."  I guess that nice.  It was never the same again.  I would have still gone to his wedding.  We were still close.  I had my own issues.

But the fact remains, dear reader—say, do you have a quarter?—I didn't go.  I didn't call afterwards.  

I could have used a good lawyer.  He prolly wouldn't have charged me.  Obviously I would have gotten offended.

I've had that Katy Perry songCalifornia Gurls in my head for the last couple days, you know "california gurls, we're unforgettable, bikinis on top". I was singing it at the bar last night sometimes.  It stems from something ungood.  Where whatever i heard at the time would probably be in my head for awhile.

I went in for an umbrella.  Walked out with 8 quarters.  Not much money for the Umbrella Guy in LA

Isco got red carded yesterday?  Why would the ref do that?  Isco's a sweetheart.

Weird not using the internet.  I wonder how my beloved team is doing.  They might be playing.  I better check.  Sports isn't a trigger.

Maybe I'll get really drunk and go to one of those old people diners that's packed in the mornings.  Always wanted to see what the big deal was.  Those people are the staring type I imagine.  I'll kick all their asses. _____ would prolly want to go.  He's prolly on an 8-hour hike.  Bigvweirdo.  I'm not exaggerating.  He runs too.  Eats like a pig with his fuckin horsemouth and Tom Cruise smile.  No wonder he thinks Tom Cruise is so cool—that and cause he met him.  Every celebrity you meet becomes your favorite.  This one time hevtexts me that he went on an 8-hour hike that day.  I ignored him for a few days.

Really?  I couldn't even get up this early for work.  Fuckin great.  Now I gotta hear myself think all day.

Cut all ties with the internet.

Steamed  vegatables as an essential routine.  I think the latter is doable.  Like how I've been tinkering that my mind has become a TV, I've been...I...I don't think, I don't oppose the steamed 

- Take the fuckin Xanax, please.

- ummm, no. No, ummm no

-You left your calling card and everthing...

- Now remember... We'rr the Wet Bandits

- ....Shut Up!

i have a poem in here like this, from some time back.  one stanza, one line or two in particular—ok, a part of it...it's perfect.  I can't do better.  I mean I can't make make it beautiful (anymore than mr. Burns with spots) Bit the first few lines, have always felt like IHOP.  it's weak as a whole, but it's rotten anyway.  how do you make it beautiful?

...from some time back...well i've done more field research

(annotated - * crushed like) 

ill feed off the moment

I'm a Shakespearean character, te one in Mid-Summernight's dream.

Tony's when he tries to repeat Dr. Melfi's words

I'm a Czechloslavakian interior decorator.

ah, I think she just gave me Sexy look #3

that's when you glance to the newspaper clippings on the back wall, of historic Green Bay—how can I be more colloquial or patronizing with this, famous ...Cheesehead wins— and lazily on your way back the ebrut eyebrow, like a broken elbow—girls always do the ebrupt eyebrow— like i don't need a fluffer! she goes.  Well, yea, shit yea she did, it's in the by-lines.  We don't get up every third Saturday at 9 to mert at that fuckin coffee shop in Pasadena—God, I don't know how MisaK finds these obscure places-cop ahead blow me its out of my system most he can do is fancy walking...ok that did not need to be said. It's just hubris, officet , overextenuating hyperbola—It's just that, I was never good at math, flipping numbers in my head. No, wait a minute! Just wait!  This one time I got caught cheating, and instead of flunking me she gave me summer school—No, wait! That summer I started plugging the numbers plugging the numbers into the formulas! Yea but when this is all over you'll let me go right?    ...Well, I guess you should take me in.  ...I  am rotten.  Am I a rebel?  Ground-breaking?  Photogenic?  Well, you be judge, officer.  ...I have killed a million people.  I used to steal things in elementary.  10 Superstar cards and you get a prize—so I erased Marina's name with a pencil from her cards and wrote mine, but I got caught.  Marina was proper and traditional and reminded me of my mom.  I used to tease her and the worst I got out of her was, "You and your damn family, too!"  I remember, she stuttered cause, she didn't know how to cuss.  Adam's dinosaurs after show-n-tell.  We sat opposite the table each other, and during classwork I thought I was being sly tying my shoe, but I look up and he's looking at me going through his toy bag.  Oh yea, and then the school fundraiser.  I didn't know the language, so when my parents asked how I came home with these things I said it was on sale.  But , that feels like 5 hours ago I digressed

- But baby, I go.  I pushed my way to her.  I said, Baby, don't give me the stare number three.  Sure it's subtle, who expects three after two?  But I just discovered I'm a boy.  It was a long time coming, but sooner or never, feel me?   I'm not like other men

-it's subtle because after 2, nobody expects three 

my recovery plan was to write a simple story, cause i was gonna run back here anyway, so it was to be a story about a guy who is not me and he just does things.  like...well, he does things, for example. The first line was  "Clarence had made a date with a friend to see a movie."  I don't know, perhaps maybe later that evening.  

See, and things would happen.  It would be devoid of me or getting me involved.  That would be my resemption, and i would later become this master at mechanical storywriting...grad students would keep themselves busy dissecting it.  Well, yea, i've thought about it—what if I'min the high school canon?  Well, that's ok, i guess, No sex with the grad students, but i mean he wrote Crime and Punishment before he did Brothers or Demons

I was going to complement myself some more and guise it as despair but then I had to cross the street in front of cars—so I whole tornado of stranglings I had to grapple—I was goong to be wrestling with them the whole time—i was fine at first, I hit the button once and stepped back.  No harm there, I had made my point.  This llets people know I'm patient, mostly likely composed, and civilized—civilized becuse you have to have been living among cavemen if after all these years you think more than one push will make a difference, and I've seen them, people pounding away at that thing like it's just them two without the camera or the guy that jerks you off in between changing film.   That's an irrational act.  So I paced a bit—why not?  I had bought myself some time—Then I ran into the pole and heard the bing again, but I kind of let them know, that it was never my intention.  I've been around the block.  I'm not circling the block, believe me guys!  It's different this—well what do y

No, this is not the direction I had in mind for it.  It's this bar.  The band.  They're too loud it's too open, I lost it.  I'm the last cliche,  I've yet to find my bar from The Iceman Cometh or Cheers—or how bout those bars that are strictly for players in the underworld, where an innocuous exchange between a patron and the bartender means that a series of big players have already nonchantly went out of their way to add another count ofConspiracy just byvouching for—ok, this is not going, I want to be vouched for...that's funny how in S.1 or 2 of the Wire, McNultty goes, "I can vouch for him, brother" to the FBI guy.  Cause that's not his lingo, you know.? 

ah, fuck it, the gist of it was i was going to to plead to the cars with my stickypad, like go back and forth taking ideas about what to do with my gestures—it was funny...it was....whatever, you wouldn't know funny if it was mullberry that landed on you with all the other other mulberries, well i got news foe you: it was a mullberry tree you wede under!

i made such a fuss about thanksgiving dinner, sabatoged myself again, eh whatever

The being sychzo for a day thing is new to me.  Towards the afternoon I've had enough.

One Hour Photo is on.  good movie, good soundtrack.

a little notepad.  in case i get brave.   snaek it out and sneak it in.  i guess im exaggerating.  you know how there's things that people shouldn't ever be exposed to?  I guess the insecurity is more like that.   Ill prolly lose it with the cashmere, the notepad, more like stickypad— 

that's W-E-T...

-Shut up!

- We're the Wet Bandits

o left my xanxx at home.  Thats ok.  ivno longet find it towards reac use.  

i left my flask.  

-  lets go back

- (hmm, i didn't reach sychzo point this time.)

o left my xanxx at home.  Thats ok.  ivno longet find it towards reac use.  

i left my flask.  

-  lets go back

- (hmm, i didn't reach sychzo point this time.)

it's cold and windy.  i love it  can wear my  cashmere

im the last cliche left at the bars.  ive yet to find another.

sometimes i'll just sit there and think about how great i am.  i'll repeat my own jokes and laugh like i just heard them.  

robots could be programmed to think like me.  they could.  

it's all down there

the sensation of a detail, the ecstasy

nothing matters but to feed off it

im no serious writer. it's a wasteland.  a pretty word for garbage that's hacknyed. i just can't contain myself

look at the way i eat.  

everything is so i can get what i want

i am special.  im a special case.

flabbergasted, maybe, always, but it won't matter

i'll just eat it.

im not even ashamed.

im a little boy.  no gerlttingcaround it.  can't even comparecmyswlf to others.

im mord of a boy now, than when i was a boy—ok, that last line i went back and fixed the mistypes

i don't think they've thought it through, with flasks.  If you need a flask then it's also impossibke to poyr irvib. CSee, these arn'tv typos for dramatic effect.

then i should it first drink it inatead of this.  Yes, i didn't think

The xanax helped today i think but can't tell. I didn't abuse it.  Guess its not one of my poisons anymore.

Gvgf

ph yea, Fleetwood Mac

Dreams

Bvvc

"Get the hell away from me you crumbum, we can still push you into the ocean!"

Poor bastard dropped his hot dog.  He thought was I going to give him money for another one but I pushed him out of the way to get my phone from my car and blog it.

Feels like DownTOwn LA at 4am.  Makes me horny for some reason.  Anyway, listen, I drive by this group of Asian girls standing outside a car and yell out, " Eat me!" and these bitches were scrambling around looking like fish out of water.

- I'm tired, Huck.

- Here, take this, Nigger Jim.

- Ah, you're so good to Elijah Wood.  True Blue Huck Finn.

Santa Monica's quiet...like...like the Plague!  This is wondrous! I've been chit-chatting with cops.

I'm no spring chicken anymore.  I'm always tired.  Maybe I'm dying.  There's a donut shop on Victory and Sylmar in the 7-11 shopping center.  The donut shop's a hotspot for Mexicans because of their scratchers and TV with Spanish channels.  Babe, i want you to go there when I'm gone and order an Asian beef sandwich in honor of me—or tuna, whatever.  They can't seem to make a bad sandwich.  Most of the men will be likely saying vulgar things to you in Spanish and the women will be trying to cut in front of you, but you just get in there, babe.  You just get in there and yell out your order.

Let us not be nervous or anxious today, let us not rush because we are late, but do let us get a little tipsy, and do let us smell a little sexy with FM Luxury

dog lovin whiskey drinkin xanax eatin...lemon merea pie

dog lovin whiskey drinkin xanax eatin

Baby, I spit pennies.

it's xanax time

good food... still gonna steal the condiments though

gotta break the curse

"I would like your Thanksgiving meal, please...if your turkey is old...you'd don't want to know..."

im just going to keep working, it'll keep me busy

sometimes ill talk em into buying this and that, but i won't remember if i collected the money but it's a good thing i have one of those cartoon hammers in the car so i can hit myself over the head with it

4 hour sleep during work, purple socks ganging out like a pretzel on ventura, feel so rejuvenated

I ain't even thinking about helping you in the produce department

I'm not even thinking about going there...not with you!

Tool's too loud.  Maybe some Bach.  Or Canon in D.

2nd time time ive paid for gas here and left without pumping

my soul neefs a vacation

shine on benevolent sun

feels like a  Tool day.  Let them suck up some of my jghainness

What's that i see?  Bulgariancheese, butter, afghan bread..tea?!.... You're not eating are you?  ...it was a rhetorical question...don't worry, karma will get me

you guys drive me to it, ill kill myself

what am i going to miss?

some hbo programming, some decadent hot fudge?

I hate em babe, I hate em all.

Im just going to throw the money out there and hope they get it.

Your buy-out is not my problem.

If they don't, I'll kill em all.

You know who colleges and grad schools are for?  People with no fuckin imaginations.  It's a business.

This happens every fuckin month.  I vome up with some clever password for my student loans which I forget every fuckin month about how they can suck my ass, I forget it every month,i have to come up with a new one about howthey can suck my ass but it can't be the same as befkre, i love my babe, people in my dreams tell me forget her let her go, go in with this one, we all did, i said who built this building? and they go it's Lenin Papi's, ah jeez!  

yes vapsha tents—ey, tents ko masin vapsha tents chem el matasum

vopshum...

lets wear the Aquqa of Gio today

Tickle my dreams

even on a Tuesday...l.with yooooouaghhh

man, i aint even thinking about fuking with!! yououuuuuuu

I'm working on Thanksgiving.  Fuck Thanksgiving.  Fuck every holiday, they can suck my broken butt.  Maybe I'll get a hooker, bring her home, or better yet, take her to IHOP.

- You should get the Turkey.  Top notch here.

-...why?  What's your angle guy?  Is this like the time you asked me if I wanted a cheeseburger and then you threw it st me?

- No baby...baby, I told you I have tourettes

I ain'nt even thinking about having what and what not to do with you!!!!,

No more two sides of me.  Just one ruthless asshole.

There's nobody here.

They're not in line, either.

i forgot, you can't smoke cigarettes on xanax

- how bout chicken?

-ahhhhjh, i like the sound of your voice

Hey, let's have a talk show about what he meant by, "Don't Act Stupid."  It'll be 

me

you

and we get a third party in on this, a cute little chick, 

but here's the thing though,

it has to be a chicken.

I've talked to the executives.

They want the chicken.

Guys want the chicken.

I got this sense they were hungry when i sat down

Ok, I give in.  Here.  Help me out, Xanax.  Give me peace.

- Well, you't can'tpray to it.

- And if I dink with it then—

- Don't act stupid.

- You gotta be ruthless in this world.  You gotta be cold.

- So that's your thing now?  You're going to be ruthless?

- Well, I'm going to try.

- hmm.

yea...

hmm...

hmm?

yea

hmm?

How do you think your ego will feel about that

- Well, I'm going to give him new flavors,, sacrifices—women.  I'm going to inject some balls into him

-yea?

- and you know...Well I'm not saying he's going to become a basketball player, but you know, he's going o be cold.

-yea..

hmm..

yea...

yea...

yea 

Yea

Do you want me to say a couple things, I ask because, you know...ok

there's nothing here for you

what's in there for me when im in there?

Let us not make fools of ourselves, let us hide in public and become invisible

thats  your game plan?

yea, i think

no

lots of stuff is happening

take the xanax, take some, this is one time impretty sure its medically good

no, i don't think i will,mindon't think think ill take any

you should, lots of things are happening

i like the sound of your voice

you should take them

no, i like the sound of your voice

committee of the crazied

-babe?

hey man you gotta get yours

-babe?

hey man you gotta get yours

-babe?

hey man you gotta get yours

-babe?

hey man you gotta get yours

we can fight it

or we can embrace it

hey man you gotta get yours

-babe

hey man you gotta get yours

we can embrace it

hmm hmm hmm

always making sounds

all of it means something,

at least to us, so tried of the persecution

we form The Committee of Crazied

Item 1: Before we start : No Revenge Vendettas.  Yes?

- Can We still bomb the IHOP?

- What did I just say?

- Ok. Well then I would like to point out, that I, received, a check...for a substantial amount of money, disclosed here, look...

- Check it out, Easter.

- Yea.

- What?

- Yea.

- What?

- Yes.  It says "Substantial Amount of Money."

- (sighs, relieved) Okay, go on.

- Every thing is in order, thus far, yes?

- Umhmm

-Umhmm

-hmm

-Umhmm

-Uhmmmm

- Which one of you had a doubt? ...hmm, Which one of you had a doubt but was being cynical?  Open mic's at 6, bozos.  (aside) Watch him, Duke or York, they might be giants.

- Duke of York, please.

- Yes.

- Which one?

- What?

- He's being confrontational.

- He's a renegade.

- You're my girlfriend; I'll buy you dinner.

- Fuck yea! A fight.

- Settle down guys, we don't have confrontations.

- Yea that's why we have those special parking spots.

- What?

- Is that true?

- My grandma has one.

- Your grandma doesn't have one.

- Her grandmother doesn't have one.

- Well, it's true but he's really bending it

- Bendam use to Beckett.

- We're lobbying for it.

- So his grandma doesn't have one?

- No, I've seen the bitch.  She's wonderful.

- Guys! Guys!

- I have a check for a Substantial Amount  of Money.

- He's right.

- Check it out, Easter.

- Looks Good.

- It was paid to me, by the guy, and the guy, he did it.  And he wants you to know.

- Well, does he love us?

- I wouldn't want not to be loved.  You can really hurt someone's organs.

- Hey, he's right! You should be President.

- I'm here for the Fight Club.

- You can't just fuckin say the name of a group that doesn't exist just cause you want it to start.

- Hey, he should be President.

- I dunno, he seems like he's got ideas.

- Let's kill him!

- Cut the head off the snake right now.

- Guys! Guys!

- Shiiiiiiiiiit...

- Ah, there he is

- He's Smart

- So You're Smart?

- He's Smart.

- Right, guy who wrote the check, right?

- Yea

- This guy always nods

- Well, that guy eats salads.

-  Oh.  Yea—oh yea!

- Salads? I knew it!

- Is he fit?

- Is he dying?

- I hope someone loves him.

- Yea, he's fit.

- We should kill him and his enti—

- Can all of you stop the ceaseless chatter...elaborate, please—He's Smart.

- Your boy's got a lot of lettuce.

- Lettuce!?  I knew it!  I fuckin knew it this whole time.

- Oh, yea, the lettuce goes with the salad.

- I made a salad once.

- You didn't make no salad

- Nah, you didn't make no salad.

- I knew it!  I could just kill him...or love him, you know, whatever you guys think is fair

- You're hot, you're so hot. You're hot, just fuckin hot.

- I'm losing it.

- You're hot. You're hot.  So fuckin hot.

- I'm losing it.

- You're a superstar. So fuckin hot.

- Stop it.

- Hot. You're a superstar.  Hey, Superstar, why don't you pull over, so I can get your autograph.  ...Should I make a run for it? ...Oh, no, Officer, I was talking to myself.

- I thought I was being creative.  That wasn't it...Can I be frank with you?  I guess I can't ever be frank, can I?  Do I want to be frank?

- Listen, if you want to be frank so much, I'm sure that guy in the F-150 knows some people.

- That guy right there?  That guy right there is on the phone with some Mexican singer, planning out his corrido.  I've seen Narco Cultura.  That's a guy I wouldn't want to mess with.  I saw him counting a wad, his big hat, the clothes, and he's going to be buried with his truck.  Obviously, I put 2 n 2 together.   Everybody knows a guy who can get a fake ID...amateur.  It was funny, I was absent-mindedly staring at him for a while, thinking, he's not crazy.  Listen, I was thinking, we shouldn't be so vulgar, you know, eating ass and the like.  It was funny at the time, but it turns on its head, and then I want to bash my head into a window.  Well, at least I get the compulsion to say it.

- Thank god, that's my beautiful face.

- I don't like the way people are looking at me.  In the mirror, I don't see it.  No more jokes with people today, my mouth's going to be running anyway

- It could be that.

- Yea, it could be that. I'm tired.

- That in-n-out commercial do anything for you?

- Yea, it was kind of depressing, these people and their voices, i mean they're out hawking a burger while im losing my soul.  A burger can't write poems.  I mean, I'm better than a ...

- Don't look at her.

- She's good.

- Well then for christ sake, don't nod and say she's good in front of the mom.

- Did you see that?  She was wearing an in-n-out shirt.  I couldn't make that shit up if tried.

- Fleetwood Mac.

- Oh yea, what a voice.

- I dunno, see, I don't like the attention in-n-out gets, and I'm not speaking as a soul writing guy, but a burger guy—and I know you like them.

- I've frequented the establishment.

- Yea, they're family owned, and Dave couldn't hold out, and sure if they became a franchise, many people would get rich

- You're reaching into your ass again.

- It's not a burger's burger!  My sister would beg to differ, but she's stupid.  She would beg to differ, but she's stupid.  I mean, how would a vegetarian know what a good burger is?  I'm just kiddong.  She loved in-n-out...yea, she used to wolf that shit down.  Ah, jeez, I'm horrible.  This one time when she first became a vegetarian, my dad and me made fun of her at the same time, it was about some steak restaurant, I said about the same thing, but she started crying.  That was ungood.  I did not like the way that felt.  I didn't make fun of her for that again.  I mean, why would  I? She used to take me to restaurants, pay for me. Obviously, I found new ways to be an asshole.

- Obviously.

- But she's stupid...let me tell you something about your in-n-out...

- It's...

- It's a thousand island!

I should have complained.  I would have had every right to.  I should have thrown the bag over their heads, or at their—whatever.  Someone must have known.  You know how once tuna reaches its expiration, you can quickly smell its deterioration in a matter of minutes when it's in your lap in the bus...well, i do.  So I'm walking with the bag over the bridge, And then at some point the wind hit it, and then from there, it couldn't be ignored.  Bag didn't even make it to my house. Some gravy from their own makeshift containers got on my pinky and I licked it off, nothing could be salvaged.  All three types of gravy, gone diddly on.  I'm done with Thanksgiving for this year.  To think, I was considering throwing this shit on my dogs to get my money's worth.  Now that would be a rampage you would hear on the news.  

The IHOP Killer and the waiter who served him, who was on top of his hitlist, who missed work that day due to personal reasons, and who happened to be black.  The Killer, whose name we will not publicise, refered to his waiter in his manifesto as, and I quote, "phony-baloney," and then goes on to rant, "I gave the guy two twenties and asked for change when I could have gave him 25 and ended it, and he saw me consider the 5; obviously, a message had been sent buy me that wasn't received by his doddi galogh [that could mean a number of things, Janet; we're not ruling out anything].  Then he doesn't bring me back change until I ask him again, and he said he forgot cause the ice bucket or something.  How could he forget about me when I'm the only—No, how could he forget about me when he was staring at me the whole time,I'll kill that mothafucker, oh diary!"

- (Janet) What's "mothafucker?" Is that some kind of raci—

- (Phil) We're Live, Janet

- (background) Party foul!

- (Janet) No, I meant how it was transcribed—whatever, you guys can eat me.  I quit.

late for work again

Lady, I don't know the street name.  If I knew it, I would have told you the first time...look, it was by the Hooters.  And Zono Sushi, which is next to Hooters, was where I caught a bigger whiff...I think.

I was walking by a restaurant a couple hours ago Zono Sushi, I think, was where I caught it, and I fear there might be a gas leak..but this fuckin place has a bigger environmental issue.

I should call the city.  I will.  I don't know why I didn't earlier.  Just in case.  I'll just call 911.  Let them deal do some work

I didn'twant to waste the gravy.  guy gave me three types of gravy.  i only knew of one.  i opened the box to pour one in as fast as i could, but i had to close it, sit on it, and smile at the waiter

Do you want to hear my order at least?

Well, this whole month, I found myself, in some part of me, quietly bemoaning how November doesn't really feel like November anymore.  Halloween hasn't felt like Halloween for some time now, but I've realized it's because I don't watch much TV anymore and people in our neighborhood don't interact much—oh man, my stomach has shrunk, i do kind of have en effective diet, a soup, a soup killed me, the rest is just trying to appeal to lust or imulse—they don't interact much, so...so if they're enthusiastic, it's voluntary.  

November, though—November is November.  Kings were born in November.  Songs have been written using "November" in the title.   November originated in Africa.  People like November, because it's nice.  November is forever a cucumber. And actually, people like saying the word November because it sounds good in their ear.  Albert Camus was born on Nov. 7, i think.  Wrestling pay-per-views take place in November.

And let me tell you something: whatever people say about Americans—oh man, I didn't know bland turkey could have such a noxious odor, I'm wondering if it's safe for the dogs—the French, let me tell you something about the French: Louie went kablooey, my friend. Louie went kablooey.  Whatever you say about America, all is forgiven over Thanksgiving dinner, and then you learn to fall in love again all week through the leftovers—oh man, i know i've been saying oh man a lot but this thing's a nuclear bomb.  It smells like what I imagine liver tastes like.  It makes rotten eggs blush.  I know L.A's full of healthy bland, but I didn't know they were going to make me drink the punch.  I've become so jaded I don't appreciate my food...but not this one.  This one came with an industrial mask.  

I'm not going to complain.  I'm not that type of consumer.

 Anyway, Thanksgiving.  Crazy about side dishes.  Turns out, it's not on the 24th.

oh yea, no breakfest. don't want to fall asleep

- Coffee?

-Might as well.

I'm going to work today at 7am.  I' done blogging for today.  That's it, I'm done. Something doesn't feel right when it's too much—well, unless it's—look, I like you, but obviously my em dashes, I don't know, are in some kind of disorder.

Okay, that's it!  I know it, you know it...and vegtable lasagna here knows it.  I told guy I wanted to spend a couple hours here, and he gave me a look like Sexy Look #6, but I meant it...well i think i did

let me check out the crowd, see if it's trendy enough...oh yea, there's porn and then there's porn.  Half the staff is asleep in the showcase booth.  I don't get how these guys do that, sleep with their heads back sitting upright.  I wouldn't want to be jailed anywhere that doesn't respect the fetal position.

you can't across the makll

you can't across the makll

- Ehat's that you say? Utem kez?    No, don't hold me back, no don't hold me back....she's fucking with me...or at leest some is,

- Hey, clear the asile, this guy breaks down barriers

- I'll kill the sort of them!  Utem kez, huh? (Spits)

- What are these peanuts doing here?  Get them out. He's going to call them low-brow.  Get them out, all of em, yes, honey roasted, yes—what did I just say? Call the cashew guy.

- Cashew guy's not going to like that.

- another voice (I heard this guy writes poetry about slumber)

- Fuck the cashew guy—call the cashew guy.

- I'll kill the lot of them!  I'll kill all sorts of them

- How's he on chapstick?

-That's good initiative Ralph—Bruce, whatever.

- I've killed a million people.  I'm killing you right now.

- Oh man, he's ser.

- (turns around) Let me tell you something...

- Oh no, he's dangerous 

-...Bitch

- Oh no

- Boob.

- He might be getting drowsy

- IHOP

-IHOP?

- Let me tell you something,     I eat.  And you get eaten.

- Don't do it, man.  You're too hardcore.

- ...Cause you're so fuckin delicious.

- He did it. He fuckin did it.  I hate him!  I hate him again.  Guy broke out into dance. Cancel the cashews.

- Cashew guy's not going to like that.

- Fuck the cashew guy—cancel the cashews.

I've never wandered this long talking this long talking to products and been ignored, these guys should get married

-spotted  a taxi?  now that's a habit im happy to break.  these guys must be even more grumpy.  i would've been a good taxi driver.  i would've been a damn good taxi.

somewhere along the line blogger started fuckin with me, and the screen's too small, o gotta piss, i tried to pretend i was retarded ...these two guys, black and mexican, now they're best friends, might as well buy a bag chips

Restaurant, I command you!  Appear in front of me!

- No, no traction. 

- What do you mean No?

- No.  No traction. We have to go now.

- I knew it when the party-guy told me, the third prince?  The guy with the long hair—no hairy guy requires long hair, especially when he's headbanging to songs that don't get headbanged.

- Do you still require the Del Taco?

-Will you shut up!  I'm self–rea...I'm fuckin Buddha man—hey, do you have to take orders from me?

- Yes.

-Oh man, fuggedaboudid! Let's just hang out.  I got lots of interestings—you can leave them on doorstep, I'm not going to lie if they get eaten—, you know if you walk into an established business and pretend you're retarded, you can just walk around the warehouse and they closeky monitor you with warm hearts

- Oh, charmed.  I can identify with the ...

-affinity

- Yes, yes  

- of the long haired dude,  Oscar

- of...

- I'll have you killed Wilfred Owen, and you'll wish it was from a 

 matches that

7- Might as well leave, i suffer from depression...this...this is very displeasing

8- What are you, from Denmark?

9- Hey, you still gotta pay your tab

10 - She did!  Get me another beer Kendra, top shelf, but I'm not paying for this one cause his skull is going to drink it all

11- She liked me. She was looking at me.  I have a system.

12- I missed my appointment with the Direct TV

13- Better you don't have a pool.

14- Well, this tutorial is free

15- Don't look at her.  You never look at her.    I got a feeling sometimes she was catching glimpses at me. 

16- Whatever you do, don't ever look at her.

17- Fuck him! I tried to order the dirty 

free shot after last call

- ah, jeez, you made me blush... i wrote

out a thank you list some night of all the all the bodies i wanted to thank, but then some innocuous figure, i think, you got 4 minutes

- it almost spells "cock"

- the books i read in college, it might mean innocent, like not harming

- should i look it up?

- what book you referebcing

-Wooly- Bully, wrote by one of them guys who wrote the book himself, that's what it says in his pamphlet, he's got a pamphlet, you know

- Patty told matty, sorry i just kept singing it to anyone 

- yea. he references that in ch. 5a

- - he referecences himself?

- oh yea, guy's a real upstart.  You  know you shouldn't make fun ofArmenians

- Why not? I know em. Hey, hold on, im not here to thrash anyone, I mean im an award winnef

i look like a bum here, im gonna take my sweet ass somewhere...wheres where it...No it doesn't get eaten, I eat it.  No I don't eat it, I eats the food.  Can't you understand english?  What the hell is wrong with you people!?

fuckin asshole... He shaved his head, prolly thinks it's a good look for him

- He feels old, the villain!

I don't know any cool bald Hispanics, do you?  God, I hope he's balding. At least  I think he's Hispanic...I'm not going to beg him, fuck him—Does he know who I am?

- Probably not.

- Will you shut up!  You're taking the air right out of everything.  ...well, I was going to say I could buy liquor at home.  Whatever, back next door.  ...well, c'mon, arm in arm, let's go.  

- ...hey, I hate to break the mood, we're low on funds.

- That sounds like one of them good problems.

- How?

- Oh, no I just meant the opposite.  See, Marlow goes to Prop Joe, "I got too much money."  And Prop Joe goes...

- Yea. I like money though...

- Yea, I like money too.

- Cause Money's only got spenders.

- Hey, I got you into that show!  

- Eat my ass I got you into that show

- Only if you eat mine first.

-Oh man, you know gay guys do that shit all the time.

- I don't think it's just gay guys.

- Would you eat your wife's ass?

- Oh man, next time I get serious girlfriend, remind me not to bring her around you.  Now I know why my coupled friends ignore me.

- Texas BBQ style.  It's closed now.  You ever been?

- It's closed cause it's 2am.

- So you've never been?

- Now you can't blame Kevin—

- Why not?  I'm pretty sure he farted in the car while I was depositing my 20 bucks.  He prolly thinks he's a genius, got it all timed and shit.  One variable he didn't factor in: the AC was on.  It's the same law as with cigarettes, it gets stuck in the vents.  You clean your vents?

- You clean your vents?

- Shit, I excuse myself outside of the car and fart on people's foreheads.

- Class act all the way.

- Fuggedabdid.  See, that's why I like you.  You keep it real.  It's like I always say—and my wife, she tells me, but she's wrong—it's like—hey, don't look at her, look at me...I'm your man.

- I don't want a man; I want some—

- Hey!  What did we say about keeping it classy?  Look...keepin it classy, that's what 

- That's what's word!

- No! No, look...look, it's important you learn this, (caresses his face) one day you're going to be a man, you're a lovely boy, but

- No, not little boys, that grown up girl right there.  Oh yea, you grown up, private lessons and all.

- You know her parents paid for that.

- What?

- The Lessons.

- What lessons?

- You should be more careful with your words around me.  

- Oh, man, I'm just mouthing jive to her.  It ain't but a thing.

- You know, you shouldn't make up shit just cause you think it makes you sound cool.  If anything, it makes you sound ignorant...if anything at all.

- Aw, man, what the hell?  Ok, I'm here.  Fuck the bitch... or don't fuck her, I don't know, I don't know what you want me to say.  You're my man!

- Fuck you.  Suck my dick, cocksucker...fuckin faggot. I'm going next door.

- (chasing him) You know he's not going to let you in...

...oh yea, persian shower.  Ait's ok, i ain't lookin for sex, im looking for love

Kevin is today's uber driver.  That guy canceled on me 1 or 3 nights ago at 4am when I really shouldn't have been standing out there.  I'll give him a piece of my mind, you can bet.

Hello blog, ah yes, you're so used to being battered down by lesser mortals, computer geeks and the like that you get a lower case.

I had you in my thoughts, at least.  Well no, I didn't.  That part of me is closed to you.  I thought of you when considering if I die today, do I have time to close this off or do I want to keep it...this time I thought it's foolish of me to even care, I'm still going to get mine.

Anyway, wanted to show my face I'm okay.  Went real low My schemes worked.  I got my confidence back this morning when I overslept for work—that was the last part of the scheme, to make up the lost days in one day, God's day, love thy neighbor, his wife.  Around 7am, I decided to put my head back on the pillow for a few moments, I had projected an 8 o clock going unto the world, next thing I know I hear a, dreams? maybe I had dreams I don't know, I hear a phone ring and I see a 12:36—but it wasn't the clock cause the clock was on the other drawer and I thought Through the mirror I could see some aberreration inside it that was a device for recording people, so I sly moved somewhere else in case I had stumbled upon some underworld crime conspiracy and the last thing I need is for people to enter my room when I've been expecting them.  They wouldn't even get a chance to kill me.  Anyway, so somewheres along that scene I saw the time, and I knew I was so fuckin late that isn't even doable anymore, but I also remember my first thought was "Why the fuck am I getting phone calls in a motel room—I'll kill him."  Then I realized, I feel normal again.  I called him back—it could only be him, the day before I was so paraylized I was so paralysized it was hour by hour, when I tried to plead or bargain my voice was so unhuman I didn't even bother, fuckers milked me—so I called him back and apologized for oversleeping, usually I'm waiting for the knock.  It could be anybody.  It was a sweet morning.  I walked out, looked around in a good way, I said hi to the motel and the world, I wanted to show them my good side—the daughter, ah yes, it's family owned and operated. So that was just homework you were doing. Perhaps we can get married, and then some day I guess I'll run this place.  I managed to grab a toothbrush, i had some soaps in my briefcase bag and a little mouthwash—asshole! i had drank the mouthwash i had tried to walk out and buy some mouthwash and advil but I was too weird and couldn't take it. I looked like a terrorist going to work but I had my smile back.

Anyway, god I forget the whole point of this.  I had written a little post to show my face, and then I accidentally deleted it, so I wrote a post about trying to post and then I dropped my phone in a spot in the car where I couldn't pick it up, I tried for a good half hour, I tried lots of things, I tried with a pen then I dropped the pen in that spot so I got two more pens, I tried cussing at it in two languages—ah! see that's where the little skit originated!  I'll explain later.  In between, I took some swigs, cigarettes in frustration.  I was having a blast.  It was keeping me busy. At first I thought I had an audience, but later on whn I glanced around they had left the shopping center.  I thought it would be cute to post something about trying to post something, so I looked around—first eyes that made contact with me, like a bum I ran to him.  I was in the heart of Glendale.  This was going to be awkward, awkward for me to act upstanding and awkward for him not to act like I'm awkward.  So they were a young  good looking couple, living the dream, buying cilantro and parsley at the local produce store.  lots of aspects of it were comical to me, the best soup was when i jumped in the back seat to show him the spot and see if he could get a shot and his wife was stuck on his shoulder and they both looked liked they were approaching snakes and with the other hand i tried to get rid of the half-pint of jameson in the passenger seat the uh, look i gotta go.  It's sunday, the bars close early, i already missed the liquor stores, i got caught up writing a few pages on paper, i mean like manually, it was supposed to go along with the posts and then i saw a skit in it, so i rushed to the 99 cent to get a notepad before i lost it, and then i lost the skit, and then i got some of it back, and then i just wnded up writing about trying to write and some other stuff i haven't yet got to skit but at this point im already sick of the skit.  i'd take my new notepad cause i have some that could come out, but im too insecure and easily distracted.  Someone sees me writing, they're likely to think I'm trying to be an action hero. Fuck that and fuck them.

if i don't get to typing it up, i dunno, it won't be the first time,maybe ill take pictures of it

I 'm smarter than all of you!  I went to school, with the guy...who knows a guy...who went to school with the guy who was on..,the remake...

Why, did you think it was going to end some other way?

-Sorry man, I missed your call.  I was running at ____ Park.  You should try it; in the rain running in the dark, it'll make you value your life.

- You should try crack; it'll make you value your life.  Milkshake, two hours.  I'll pick you up.  On second—you drive.

Ice cream in the rain

why not from one of my clients, then...then...then that bozo across the street!

just started raining over here—ah, babe don't cry.

i like the cold.  a couple nights ago i got up in my dream, like adog i knew she was in the other room, i ran into her bed hoping not to wake her till i was under the covers but she opened her eyes, i was clumsy

i still got a couple stops to make

Manny's on Woodman: faggedaboudid

EatKhash seal of approval

Once solidified as real, it's important it be kept as such

This place ignored me for 5 min, I thought about stealing their ketchup and mustard, the mustard was too big to fit into my pocket, and then i thought grow up, think of the scandal, fuck these sore mexicans and the hipsters who ruined it for all of us...go somewhere else

I gotta test this new theory i have about steak and shrimp dinners before i embark on any crazy endeavor tonight.  I thought about it last time but i was sleep depraved and a bum kept staring at me so he got half of my meal save the decadent hot fudge.  But tonight im in a land of self- plenty, no remorse

At the red light light

Yea, I don't want to hear your club music, you Persian-Armenian dentist

track 7

see where the night takes us

5 bucks for a doubleshot of Jameson? you gotta be kidding me!  She respected me so I respected her.

-What is that, the Napoleon?

-Neapolitan 

- eh...

- what? 

- ...nothing

- What's that fuckin look for?

- Well, it's just that you started out with strawberry first.

- And your way's better?

- Shit, baby, my way's the sweetest.

- Says who?

- Says me and my army.  

- Next thing you're going to tell me how to peel a banana.

- There are things your mother never taught you... Come on, Gang, let's get outta here.

- I don't see anyone.

- That's cause you like the chocolate.

My head is a jungle, jungle

99 cents

2 nights in a row?

You're killing me here, baby.  I haven't gotten drunk in like a year

Days I dream of you, I don't need to do anything else.  I'm already in a stupor all day.

- You're late

- Yea but I'm early for next week.

I better go congratulate her/

Let me try my other eyebrow

...no, He must be a great guy.

God, she mustreally be in love with her boyfriend if she's not returningmy sexy stares

Primo!

- Shame, shame, shame...I was using that line when you were still 60 years old, old man.  Look at you, hela vichakat nayi—you're old!  One good thrust on a big breasted woman and half your back is going to break.  Here eat some nuts.  Good fats.  Some water, drink dome water.  Let me see your technique...come on, I don't have all day.  Come on, up we go—therrrre we go, but I bet you'd be sprinting if I gave you two dollars?

What am I saying?  78 cents.  You want a cigarette?  Yea, I doubt you were a man of one vice.  Here—oh, let me cut half of it off, there you go.

fuggedabouddid

More Uber leather jacketWisdom

- You drank?

- Yes sir.

- That's why you're so cold, short sleeved and all.

- I haven 't been cold in years.  At this point , I welcome it.  You get tired of the sun.

- Nonetheless; when you're drinking you don't feel it.

- You mean when you're sobering up—

 - It hits you.

- Wow, you're right.

- You're more suseptible to illness at that point.

can you imagine that guy, i mean hopefully not, but the cops wake him up, and then he just goes back to sleep

im stealing the tabasco abd seasoning salt though.  it's just a tradition we have.

they've tightened up on the seasoning salt cause half of it is at our or ____'s house

not to worry, a true champion never gives up

Next homeless guy i see gets my pint.  saveroom for milkshakes and dog lovin, babies im coming home to you

- Dispose of it, Smithers.

- You mean you want a doggy bag?

- Oh, sorry, yes.  Stomach's shrunk.

I'll get you later, muffin

i've never had their chicken and waffles

yea over there, you can eat khash with a passion even at 4am

here, you're always chasing

I like this guy.

can't win em all, another wrestling champion, god bless his heart

You might think I'm crazy, but I can't drive a block straight and haven't eaten for days.  What I do now is order an uner and hope it's a girl and not some guy named Ashot...and go get some fuckin pancakes like a real man.  I got pints on pints on pints

i saw a homeless guy today with his lip hanging off looking back at me with an ice pack the indian wanted to get rid of him and a little chiuaua in his cart— im pretty sure he got beaten up—and i looked at him with disgust or looked away after his eyes saw mine cause im a respectable member of society objectivism don't you know? then i went back i wondered if I should buy peroxide or the rubbing alcohol to make his day.  It cost me 3 bucks for the mixed nuts, another 3 for the band-aides—I had a hang nail with no nailclippers so my nerves were irrational, I threatened my skin like a gang member talks about jerking off on someone's mother—and 3 bucks for the peroxide.  By the time I got out of the gas station and looked for him he wasn't there and I couldn't find him.  I rang round TGI Fridays and the mall, and drove up to a lesser prize at the bus stop who woildn't stop giggling and with my hand gestures you'd think i was trying to explain how big it was,  i circled her area for about  an hour cause obviously i wanted to stick it in her ass  then a block away i saw a park i thought there he would be licking his wounds,  and i parked my car walked by the asian jewish and persian milfs with the kids in the playground, Kevin Arnold started narrating in my head, I walked triumphant into the men's restroom public restroom, a hotspot, and there was a group of vulgar homeless men and women, they were probably the ones who beat him up...so I hid the peroxide bottle before they can see it, and said fuck em.  Saddest thing of all, the other dogs in the shopping carts—no, that 's life

the bum in front of the barber shop when i was walking in for a taste got lucky. one guy was dressed sharp but asked me for a hot dog so i got mad cause he had no class,  one was asleep in front of the 7-11 and it made an asian merchant mad i bailed when the cops got there, then i walked in somewhere else to get a taste and a guy in front of the barbershop said he was hungry so i poured him the nuts in a cup and he said,  "Primo, you give me the money, I go in buy food" by that time I was already inside

1 - Hey where'd the cute girl go with the schmuk?  I use the facilities and you scare her away

2 - She looked like my ex...

3 I watched her leave through the window

4- Can you believe this guy?  Hold on,

5- You forgot your cigarettes

6- Yea, she did!  The glasses, the bangs, the unorthodox this matches that

7- Might as well leave, i suffer from depression...this...this is very disconcerting

8- What are you, from Denmark?

9- Hey, you still gotta pay your tab

10 - She did!  Get me another beer Kendra, top shelf, but I'm not paying for this one cause his skull is going to drink it all

11- She liked me. She was looking at me.  I have a system.

12- I missed my appointment with the Direct TV guy

13- Better you don't have a pool.

14- Well, this tutorial is free

15- Don't look at her.  You never look at her.    I got a feeling sometimes she was catching glimpses at me. 

16- Whatever you do, don't ever look at her.

17- Fuck him! I tried to order the dirty channels and the asian lady yelled at me

18- Next home I go to with a doughboy, I'm drowning  myself in it.

19 - The only lady that ever looked at you was when she asked if you wanted to buy flowers

20- Fuck all you 'alls, this tutorial ends right what now!

Get up, you bum!

I'll never forget you, especially that time I fought Apollo Creed for that chicken wing

You had me at hello

Seymorre!  ...the hell I didn't!

No, not Chechen, Czech!

Little Otik.

my sistet, we used get the desert, and then the tuna melt , from Bob's

I had your pussy for breakfeast

it smelled like squid and peach juice

...yea, i think tupac had better ideas

random voices at the bar ( very rough)

1 - Hey where'd the cute girl go with the schmuk?  I use the facilities and you scare her away

2 - She looked like my ex...

3 I watched her leave through the window

4- Can you believe this guy?  Hold on,

5- You forgot your cigarettes

6- Yea, she did!  The glasses, the bangs, the unorthodox this matches that

7- Might as well leave, i suffer from depression...this...this is very displeasing

8- What are you, from Denmark?

9- Hey, you still gotta pay your tab

10 - She did!  Get me another beer Kendra, top shelf, but I'm not paying for this one cause his skull is going to drink it all

11- She liked me. She was looking at me.  I have a system.

12- I missed my appointment with the Direct TV

13- Better you don't have a pool.

14- Well, this tutorial is free

15- Don't look at her.  You never look at her.    I got a feeling sometimes she was catching glimpses at me. 

16- Whatever you do, don't ever look at her.

17- Fuck him! I tried to order the dirty channels and the asian lady yelled at me

18- Next home I go to with a doughboy, I'm drowning  myself in it.

19 - The only lady that ever looked at you was when she asked if you wanted to buy flowers

20- Fuck all you 'alls, this tutorial ends right what now!

10,000 days

I got a soundtrack to my day today

track 7 while im pumping gas

all it is anxiety slice that out the brain and i'll be fearless there's people who light themselves on fire or say to the men stabbing him i'm dying tell my mother for her blessing

Ghvc

Inreaching with the Community with Kathrin Hiegel

- ...I like it when I can call myself a writer, as it...it feels comfortable...like, knowing or thinking I can do whatever I want with the words

- (nodding)

- ...which is why I think I'm so inherently opposed to feminism.

- (...?)

- My father, you see?

- Yes, go ahead.

- ...You know, cunts?

-  Excuse me?

- God, I used to have to take a shit all the time!  ...that's prolly is why you became a local anchor—like all the time...mad, massive, desperate

- Ok, this guy's drunk.  (aside) Larry, I've had it with you!  I knew I shouldn't have listened to you again.  Inreaching with the Community?  You gotta be fucking kidding me!  What was I thinking listening to... You, you're fuckin fired!  No, I'm not firing you—I'm firing you! (storms out I knew I shouldn't have listened to you, what kind of name is named Larry?  Eat me, Larry.

- (empty room) Hey guys, can I sit in her car while she's in the dressing room?

club song

Nothing will ever be explained

I'll just keep babbling,

for you,( my love)

coming up after the sun light

i shine, like a sea shell

oh the ocean is the motion

and you're raging like

a brilliant diamond—

I'm coming to you, my love

i don't know about a thing but you dn't want to get to know me

business men are flying

like shrapnel golden blondes bruised 

ego run run Rodolf,

Santa's gotta make it to town

I keep my chicken bones in the back pocket.

Let's wear the Allure today.  An outfit is important.  You should always look like you need money.  That way you can always ask people for change or if you can sit in their car while they pump gas.  

...You'd think it would be the opposite.  ...No, no! You should always wear a suit, sharp if you can muster it.  That way, you can always ask people for change.

I've been wearing the same pants for three weeks.  Why change a good thing?

no rest for the wicked

Peanut

Bunk goes, "How many murders are we talking about here?

Guy brushes his nose and thinks for a second like he didn't do yesterday's math...

then makes the funniest hand gesture in all great tv drama

it almost smells like a burger, but it dink

No, can't be that Dink...that Dink dead

- Bunk rolls his eyes

Hgvc

don't go chasing strange emotions,

lay all your love on me

Someone's playing ABBA inside.  I dig it. Don't like Dancing Queen though.  They got a fucking plethora of wonderful songs !

We're getting drunk tonight, Randy.  Big time.

We're getting drunk tonight, Randy.  Big time.

found a new bar

took me long enough to drinkness, gotta a little too into a sentimental journey there,

Order!

Order, I say!

people do that to each other in real life

he does that to her

i don't want to quit

i just want that feeling back

i want nothing in life but that 

forever

everything else is ruined for me

i don't want to quit

i wouldn 't know how

it wouldn't work

it'll never go away

Gggvg

Ggvg

- Shame, shame, shame, late for work again.

- Shut up, listen: do you think every time I kill a bug I was supposed to kill it.  Like god put them there for me to end them? And here I am, feeling bad when I crush them while trying to help.

- Don't ask me, I'm just your left big toe.

- There you go, always being fresh.  How come the other's not like that?

- King Righty?  He's got nerve damage.  He's a fuckin vegetable. That whole boat has everyone vying for power like an African country.

Dvbh

Fvbj

Ddvn

Right from the start, you were a thief you stole my heart

Oh, EatKhash, why did you go and do that?

Then you came back and started yelling at me,

Cause the drugs that you bought when sold my broken heart

were bunk shit

Oh, they was bunk shit.

Why did you do that, EatKhash

and sell my broken heart

for bunnnnnk shit

oh, bunnnnk shit

...they was bunnnnk shit

Vbvc

Cvcc

-Shame, shame, shame.  I got you, trying to rip me off...now is that a thing to do?

- No, sir.

- Do you still want to rip me off?

- (embarrassed, nodding) Yes, sir.

- Okay, you can rip me off.

I love the gloom and the gray.  I'm always in such a good mood undet this weather.  I'm always happy, always smiling.  The sun makes me itch.

I did it again, babe. I fuckin did it again!  On the way to work I stopped by a place to try out their breakfast burrito.  I'm just going to sit here for a couple minutes.

I like thatnew HBO show "Getting On"

I like LBC.  I feel exotic here.  I got two looks today.  Jotted down in my notebook I did.  Hey, I know a look when I see one.

...and sometimes, when I 'm driving, and I hear a good drum solo like Led Zep type shit, I'll start drumming all over the cabin.

the crime scene

-Oh, I don't know any Vinnie.

-But you know a Tevez

I had this dream recently—it was that night after I couldn't stop talking to myself all day and slept at 8pm, but i didn't tell you the next day because i was worn out from talking to myself—I was in a long-term prison, but I got the sense that I was a few years into my sentence and had somewhat adapted and I was walking with my crew .  I think of them as my friends but I wouldn't say that outloud.  So we're going up an escalotor, maybe there's four of us, two by two, and I'm trying to keep up with the conversation, but I can't make out the name of the guy they're talking about.  I try four times to make out the name, asking them to repeat it, but still can't make sense of the sound, so then I say,

"What did he say?  Tevez, or something...?"

"Vinnie, man.  Vinnie."

"What? Oh,  I don 't know any Vinnie."

"But you know a Tevez?"

It was pretty funny.

See the whole prison was like a mall, and it was big and well-lit, but the depressing thing was the glimpses of the sky through the ceiling glass, like it was unnecessary or irrelevant now 

One day, maybe some day, I'm going to ask for a few more minutes of life to spend with someone, and these are the times that'll eat away my time

i shouldn't yearn for food unless im homeless.  

i can really go for a big loaf of bread filled with hot soup.  I don't know if the real thing will be what i yearn for it to be if i got it, but i can definitely see myself yearning for it

I'm not insecure.  I'm aware.  At least I think I'm aware of what I am.  So a term like that other one is just kind of silly to me, to dwell on or even get insulted by it.

Why should I dwell on...

Why should I wallow...?

...I mean, what am I going to do, scream at the earth?  Will it away?

Every way I try to put this, I feel like I'm getting defensive.  And that's the thing, I 'm not.  I'm not trying to deceive myself or paint some profound misery.   The misery is dull.

When I'm distracted, I seem to always laugh about it.  But it's obvious in my actions.

It's always there.  I can't ever be that man.  No amount of crunchies is going to change that.

Well, it could.  Siberia and labor.

  Best I can do is work with what I have.

I still try to control her, by cussing at her, judging her (empty phrase to a hypocrite), killing my brain, rewiring, can of worms

this time last year i was building momentum.  daily laying some groundwork with my diet and exercise initiatives that eventually becomes a complete overhaul, a lifestyle change.  

i was running on some kind of ambition, perhaps will and ego, and perhaps that spelled doom. .. 

ego is an insecure monster

I felt like going to the casino real quick before I finished up the day's work, so I did. I'm damaged goods, my brain is fried,  what's another thought.  I'm just here.  I am merely here, Spud

Ghc

Put my shirt in the fridge for a little bit...

nyquil this bitch.  whats the point of staying up

The whole point of going early today was to come back home early, take care of some things, then go to the library and write some angry letters.  Around noon, I stopped by somewhere to catch a little UEFA and had chorizo n egg breakfast burritto.  I wasn't really hungry, I didn't enjoy it, but my brain or body was still in starvation mode from last week.  I ate the whole thing, went into my car, and promptly fell asleep.  I woke up a couple hours later whimpering, and there was this old blonde white man with long hair and blue eyes sitting down in front of my car staring at me, and I said, Jesus? 

Then I got out of the car and bought a Strawberry Shortcake ice cream and it seemed like he was smiling.  I stared at him for awhile as I was eating it.

Hey, what's the biggest pain in the butt for truck drivers?

A pain in the butt!  Ack! ack! ack! ack! Get it? Ack! ack! ack!  Hey, what's that?  (points to your shirt)

- Going to work early today cause I'm a wonderful person.

- Lots of people go to—

- Shut up!

opps, forgot i closed it off

respite hopefully

tonight's sleep will be a lot of falling asleep then jumping up, a continual nervous lightedness

i couldn't stop talking to myself all day.  it was horrible.  

This is a good combo, I feel.  I'm into making combos.  That's my thing now.

And about the work, I don't have to much to say.  Here, we have a nod to our friends from south of the border, the hard working migrant day laborers.  I opted not to include the tall-can, but that was a logistical issue, as I'm sure you'll understand.  

And, what else...the drink is Picante flavor—a little too Ralph.  I don 't remember it being this spicy .  But I guess what most took me most is the challenge, and their little beating  hearts and...godman this is spicy.  These fuckin Mexicans man, I swear.  Hey, you'll want to cut that last part out.

hey, how are ya? Hey I want to look drunk in my picture

oh, I'm going to eat somewhere real fancy tonight.  I just know it.

you're in a laundry room

ive had these headches, weird headches, like shit your parents do that they don't want you to know about.  They come and hit me real hard, then they run away just as quick.

I'm like, "Fuck you headaches!"

- Show em the red card.  Those assholes deserve it.

- Fuck the cards.  Where 's my cane ?

I find myself nodding off or slighly blacking out as I stand so I went back in to find some pick-me up.  This was the decion I made.  I knew it was a good decision.  It wasn't impulsive.  It was quick, well-thougt out, with a bit of sponeity.  It was a special moment. Not a woman alive who wouldn't get turned by this combo.  Gentleman respect you.

So I threw on the counter when this girl was in line ahead of me to test my theory, and said soak me in, baby.

i want to go back in for seconds, but I don 't want to ruin it.  I want savor it and respect the memory like I should've did.

Yes, she does look good.  Plump and sexy.  A cute shoulderless dress that brings out her dirty blond and pale skin.  She's not food, she's a fruit.

And this black dude looks like he dresses good all the time.  orange dress shoes, light white high water pants—i used to wear high water jeans in elementary— a blue blazer of some sort and a shirt that was not black.  I couldn't pull that off.  I wouldn't know what to do the rest of the week.

Al right guys, we're going into Beverly Hills real quick. Put your best clothes on. What?  You didn't bring one?  I like blondes, bald girls.

I don't know if I'll make it to the DMV.  This diet coke is hot.

Agh!  Dispose of it.

-There, now you can shut the fuck up.

- Did you tell them about the hidden cameras?

- No, but next time I'll bring you with me.  I Qldon't fuck with the hidden camera people.  Beides they're prolly in cahoots.  I'm used to the hidden cameras.  They want to watch me do that, I guess I can't stop them, but I'm not going to stop what I'm doing.  It's the curtains that I can't ever convince myself to trust.

- Where to now?

- Gotta put in some hours, man.

- Ah, snooze. I'm getting drunk.  Wake me up when you're at the DMV.  I wanna check out the Armenian girls.

- Oh, I'm into Chechan girls now.

- Oh?

- Have you seen their girls?

- Fuggedaboudid?

- Ah, fuggedabudit!

i just can't stop talking in my head today it's like this endless chatter

its making me go back to the motel and feel em on the carpet

i just can't stop talking in my head today it's like this endless chatter

its making me go back to the motel and feel em on the carpet

- I'll just shave the sides a little.  I'm a piece of shit, anyway.

- You should wash your hair, too.

- No, I don't want to.

- Come on, dunk your head in there.

- No, I don't want to.

- C'mon!

- No!

- Well then, you're an asshole.

- I don't use straws; I use hundred dollar bills.

- Is that right?

- Come on guys, it's just a straw.  I was going to drink my milkshake with it.

they're pinky

they 're pinky

and the brain brain brain

brian brain

i put a cigarette pack on punky's hed and she walked away from me.  grump

i put my phone on chelsea's back and she tried to stare at her back.

totally blew her mind

prolly just get drunk today.

put the insanify of the last few daysbehind me and start anew.

i flooded a room last night. i noticed when i was trying to make my except.  i heard every sound except that one, even the ones that weren't there