Levinstein says we need a follow up
... to pay for diapers
Gotta put my head in the books,
Praise Be to Allah!

Orenthal "'N famous" Danger Wallace Wallace

ah jeez!  I got hit with another paternity suit!

I've had a lot of offers in the last few days.  I'm blowing up.  My manager, Levinstein, he's telling me to wait.  My boys want to know, can he even flow?  I go, Shiiiitte, I might as well have one of you ignants reading law school.

Levinstein, taking the spoils

Roxanne?  That's a nice name, you have old Hollywood in you?   Whatever, you know why you're here, Roxanne?

-....to fuck?

- No, you're here because I want you to try out for the Eat Children Dancers.  'N famous will have the final say, but I'm narrowing it down for him, if you will.

- Children?  Can't we eat like gluten-free snack bars or granola?  I know this guy-

- No, Children! Strictly children

...

Cause I eats children

ugh!

Let's go eat children!

ugh!

Cause I eats children!

ugh!

Let's go eat children

the debt ceiling,
my ass,
toilet paper
buy my products
buy my shit!

old white men
stick your hand
in the interstice
of bathroom stalls

ugh!
keepin' it real

his fraternity raped him
his mother didn't know
he never spoke up
cause he liked it, yo!

ugh!

when in office
he found a peurta rican whoooooiiire!
his collegues liked it
they shared medical secrets

'N famous Children Eatr

sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you

let's get drunk!

yo huh
you never know, huh
your favorite show's
been canceled!

They call it the Whopper
they always raisin' their prices
like, what?
turn my mike up, yo!

Cause I eats children,
ugh!
Let's go eat children,
ugh!
Cause I eats children,
Ugh!
Let's go eat children,
ugh!

Yo, I kno what you're thinkin,
that to get from there to here
you gotta go there but you're gonna get got
( 'N famous Child Eatr, y'all)
And if you slippin' then you stumblin
rocks tumbling and you gots to know!


Cause I eats children,
ugh!
Let's go eat children,
ugh!

Let's go eat children,
ugh!

lobotomy!

nick drake

1. things behind the sun
2. one of these things first
3. hazey jane 2
4. been smoking too long
5. fruit tree or black eyed doggy

Not, Sure

a joke i heard at driving education

One night two drunks were wandering the town trying to get drinks, but between the two of them, they only had a dollar and change. So the first drunk says, "Hey, I've got an idea - we put our money together and buy a hot dog."

The second drunk, looking at him puzzled, says, "What the hell? I don't want a hot dog; I want a goddamn drink!"

The first says, "I know. We buy the hot dog, stick it down the front of my pants, go into a bar and order our drinks. When the bartender tells us the price, you drop to your knees and suck the hot dog like you're sucking my dick - and the bartender will throw us out and we won't have to pay for nothing!"

The second drunk says, "Well, it sounds like a good enough idea to me."

So they buy the hot dog and the first drunk sticks it down his pants. They go into a bar, order two whiskeys, and when the bartender tells them the price, the second drunk drops to his knees and sucks on the hot dog. The bartender throws them out and tells them not to come back.

The drunks go on to hit 19 bars. Finally, the second drunk says, "We've got to switch places 'cause my knees hurt from dropping to the floor."

The first drunk says, "You think that's bad? I lost the hot dog in the third bar!"

I'd..rather...walk... alone!

I haven't seen any celebrities in a while.  I wanna see a celebrity.  Last one I saw I think was David Beckham.  He was driving his Rolls Royce and texting.

I go, "Hey Beckham, don't you know the law?  You can't drive and text, you bloody wanker!"

He goes, "Right!  Oy! You scouser!"

"I'll give you some bangers and mash!"

We go at it,

POW!

I'm giving it to him,

BANG!

 he's getting some shots in,

ZORB!

he opens his trunk and gets his cleets and goes for my face.

ZERP!

I push him off, I try to kick him but her runs back to his car and I only get him in the butt

ZOINK!

He has some thing in his hands, i look at him like a goalie,  he throws a bottle of Armani Diamonds at me

WONK!

I block the shot, he starts choking me with sexy Armani underwear...

BLURB!

"What are you, contractly obligated?" I manage to get out

I gots to take a mad shit,
The kind of shit
all other shits
call a psychopath.
I've kept it in all day,
to keep it more intense.

I spoke to an old Hindu woman,
She told me of a beggar
who called her Mama and asked for change.
She told him,
"If I'm Mama and you're 27,
get a job and take care of me."
She held out her hand and he ran away.
She made me laugh,
but I had to balance on one leg.

She told me she wanted sweets with her coffee,
but she wasn't allowed,
I said, I see, and bit my lip.
Her husband worked out all his life,
ate healthy, and died of a blood vessel two months ago.
She found him dead on the ground.
So now she eats all the sweets.

She almost made me cry
cause there was pain and anger in her eyes,
I held her head and said,
"Lady, I gots to take a shit!"

Kind of an uneventful day.  Wore my Satan Rules t-shirt.  Ordered a latte.  Bought some cantelopes at  the grocery store.  Spoke to a teller sbout some overdraft fees.  Bought a pastrami sandwich for dinner.  Complained about the mustard selection.

" ...im always coming back home to you"

nina simone

"oh sinnerman
where you gonna run to?
oh sinnerman
where you gonna run to?

oh sinnerman

where you gonna run to?

oh sinnerman

where you gonna run to?

...i says Rock

whats a matter with you Rock?

Don't you see I need you Rock?"

eatkhash in court

This is so boring.  Not a looker in the bunch.  I never wanted a beer and a waterbed more in my life.

sing, my white aghavni

My blanket was on the bathroom floor.  It had a good amount on it.  What's a good amount?  It was on it.  I threw it in the shit-filled water hoping to clean it.  There were clumps on the outside of the tub, and a fresh one, the size of a tree trunk, sitting on the edge.  There was shit all over the place.

This time I wanted to take a bath, but the water was full of it

I had a disgusting dream last night I didn't remember till now.  I had my feces in a cup , and I had to take sips of it.  And when I couldn't take it anymore, I was speaking to an older man and he asked if I was really drinking that?  I responded that I thought that's what I was supposed to do with it.

He looked grossed out and I asked, did you ever drink it?  He thought quickly and said I think three or four times.  The sick part is that quick sensation in which I feel like I tasted it.

Really gross.  It was in a tall paper cup, liquidy.

I walked out the door,
the sun was in my eye,
so I started kicking into the air.

My last tool for rebellion,
 against this meaningless,
meaningless existence.

I laid out my clothes for the week

I showered and brushed my teeth.

I felt triumphant on the eve

and let the sound of the TV ring,

good willed jibber jabber and zingers.

Finally, my feet were bare and my bed was clean,

I turned the light off

and nestled underneath the sheets.

I sighed and smiled and awaited,

I snickered at jokes I anticipated telling her.

I laughed aloud and slightly felt embarrassed.

I shuffled my feet

and the room became clear,

i somehow bit my finger,

sat up and looked at myself in the mirror.

Sleep wouldn't come

 I wrestled with the thoughts,

were my clothes right?

were my jokes contrived?

If I could catch her

and carry her books

then i would have her

for that day

the vaselines

you think you're a man
but you're only a boy
you think you're a man
but you're only a toy
you think you're a man
but you just couldn't see
you weren't man enough
to satisfy me

If I could, with promises to keep
If I could, with someone waiting for me

In a flat by ourselves,
the morning air crisp and clean,
the day awaits

Rise, my love,
Rise!
I'm in a rush,
to tell you!

If you're saving all these up to blackmail me, go right ahead, it's not like im running for public office. And when i do, I'll be sure to include all my rants in my speeches.  Get a life, you miserable insects.

im pumping myself up through inspirational documentaries about dead athletes

I only took two sips and I feel it.  I think my brain is just welcoming it.I haven't eaten for two days,  nor slept but for an hour, and the whole time I was having a conversation with a man in and out of my sleep,  i was trying to convince him of something and shuffling my feet.  I can't recall the topic but it wasn't anything abrasive, and each time i felt the blanket cover my whole being, i thought he understood, and that I understood.  Funnily, i got up for work.

My favorite NBA moments have been - i love lists, i dont really watch much basketball but documentaries -

3. Game 6 of the Bulls-Suns final in 93, that three way pass at the end to John Paxton.  BJ Armstrong was on that team.  He was short, he looked good shooting threes from the corner.  My favorite players during those years were Alonso Mourning, Anferne Hardaway, and Grant Hill.  When you're a kid you just pick players to support so you can wear their jersey.  It has to do with the color of their jerseys, something really irrational about some slight look about the individual, and their basketball cards.  I later felt a bit disappointed about the path of their careers, whether through injuries...  Daryl Strawberry came to our class during DARE.  He told us not to do drugs.

2.  Reggie Miller's two three pointers against the Knick's in Game 1 of one of their conference (only in america) finals.  It's one of those moments that you like replay over again, and each time imagine or feel what each person in there and in the world felt at that moment.  Im not a Barca fan, but this is what I love about the moment Iniesta scored against Chelsea in the 1-1 semi final against Chelsea a few years back.  He took his shirt off, waving it to the roar of broken hearts and joy, but he still had on a yellow undershirt. He's small, it wouldn't be fitting if he ripped it off.

1.  Robert Horry.  Against the Sacramento Kings.  Need I say more?   Ok, the final shot, the final second, the ball just amiably bounces to him like my doggy, when everyone else is in a hapless war.  He kept himself dignified after the moment, like an awkward statue of a battle hero.  I would have exploded at that moment.  I did, i jumped out of my seat in a dark room.

My favorite sports moment though, was Zidane's volley against Leverkusen, 2002 Champions League Final

Im going to play in a real official tournament tomorrow.  It'll be my biggest field yet, I just hope Im not the first one out.  I earned my seat through our weekly games.  If I cash, we all cash.  If I drink, I won't last, if I don't everyone will see me wagging my tail.  A couple of our guys are doing bigger tournaments.  The cream rose to the top as it should have.

I guess deleting is not deleting on the internet.  That's not really fair.  I thought I was safe here. That's a lot of ugliness I throw out there.  I don't stand by them,  but they come out somehow.  That's a lot of exposure.  I didn't realize.  

onbrownpaperbag

What if they found you, naked
in the hole you've been hiding?
You wouldn't say anything.

All the stars in the sky,
and you didn't reach for one.
All the branches of a tree,
and you couldn't cling to one.

Washed up before beginning,
giving away your crumbs.

You crept, not back
but into the shadows.
No one hears from you.
You eat or drink or piss or fuck
to pass the time.
You seemed to have stopped caring.

The city's all flash and no substance.
The women are on the prowl.
Immerse yourself into a role
you once only planned to play -
you lose yourself in it everyday.
The city and you are the same.

The room gets quiet every night.
The music's over,
and the sensations have gone.
Self absorption gets you
a public access station.
Whiskey comes stiff and early
in the morning;
It dulls your bleary mind,
as you broadcast your daily special.

Some Xanax,
Some Xanax
Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Some Xanax,

Some Xanax

Some Xanax like it's water

Track 2 by the Suicidal Squirrels

always, the droning
the droning of droves

now you can see me
now you can don't

sometimes, im moving
and sometimes im slow

now can you see me now?


(now we'll do some powerchords and fireworks and ill jump in a leotard)

Guy thinks he's so cool cause he's in a band.  How hard is it to write a song

just strum Am G Em:

burnin bridges left and right
dancin in my undies
in the middle of the night

with ma doggies
with ma doggies,

mama let me go

mama  let  me  go

I feel the monster lurking in my head.  It should be rising soon.  There's no one I can talk to about it.  There's no one that can understand.  Eh, prolly there are, but they're on their own too.  It's not really something you can share with others.

To be honest, if I don't expose myself to it, how can I indulge it?    Every little step, even for a moment or minute, adds up; every trigger given the light of day

I used to feel like there were worms in my brain; I would stay up for days.  Or there's holes, or it's a wound that's never healed

Post Traumatic Syndrome (lost in translation)

"Why, what's that?

That's when Armenia lost to Turkey in football and you lost it and divorced your wife on that very soil."

Cribs

Hello, welcome, come.  I show you my home.

Welcome to my family room.    That's fur rug, black and white.   My furniture, black and white, like zebra.  Fireplace, very warm, marble tiles.  I hang my parents' picture on the wall.  They loved each other so much.  I loved them. My wife loved them.  I hang one more in our bedroom. On fireplace counter, more pictures.   Eiffel Tower.  It's Ceaser's Palace and Venetian, our pets, my wife's mother.

Vopshum, here's my kitchen, remodeled mo-dern style, marble counter, all lighting, refrigerator big.  My neighbors can usually see me in my underwear when I'm in kitchen.  They must not like it, but the windows are big so they see our TV.

Show you some of my food.

Here's some kvass, very good drink, and some russian sour cream -- the crumbs are from the bread.  I like to double-dip in the middle of the night.  My wife doesn't like it - but her sister does!  eh-he-he-he-he! eh-he-he-he! oh...vi, no,  hala give me that camera!

...tketsi

:)

If I see a man, I say "Hey, man."
If I see a woman, I say "Hey, woman."

The former rolls off the tongue.
The latter, you really got to put some effort
into it, some passion.

David Chase

" I said it's a cold universe and I don't mean that metaphorically. If you go out into space, it's cold. It's really cold and we don't know what's up there. We happen to be in this little pocket where there's a sun. What have we got except love and each other to guard against all that isolation and loneliness?"

Very nice. How come I can't come up with shit like that? You know there was a time, where I never, or rarelu used foul language, not even in my mind. It was a discipline. I started after I read some George Orwell essays. And I think once I gave up reading and learning, my mind grew dull.

-

I told my attorney we should meet early in the courtyard. Last week, I noticed I was telling him page numbers from the documents.

He was late; I looked around at other professionals. He approached in a suit bigger than him, with enough purple in his tie. Sonuvabitch! He must have someone who loves him.

He said we should take the stairs. I'm on a diet.

I suggested we go in. He went searching for a restroom; he had too much water.

I smoked a cigarette outside waiting for him. Americans walked by and stared at me. He came out and related a story to me about thieves breaking into his car this past week and stealing his archery equipment--two thousand dollar binoculars.

I said i wish you told me you were a hunter. 

I would have never hired you.

If you smother another
if early enough,
they can run,
they can breathe,
and their relief 
grows into indifference.

If not

Nothing Ever Happened.

I feel like im in love again
What it would be like
to be sane again

U really did a number on me

got me dreamin
got me dreamin
Hardest part is waking up

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

how long will your tallest buildings survive?

We stood atop a building, overlooking a sea of lights. I looked up to a moon that hovered not too far up above. In peculiar motion glimmered - somewhere, somewhere up - two window-shaped xenon lights, then disappeared. I stood motionless, fascinated, awaiting something special to come. The planets aligned themselves: the stars, the lights, not too far from my eyes, and glimmered in unison the same instantaneous bright blue. Something was in the works. Down below, a young girl met an older man. She carried on with butterflies she couldn't wait to keep from the world.



Yea, something special was about to come. There must have been a spaceship. Next I saw laser beams in swift motion tear down all the tall buildings around us. In the flat below, some girl was getting it from a guy who wanted to walk away at the right time. One by one I saw skyscrapers fall. Fire, panic, and mayhem ensued. Something special was in the works against which we had no insurance. Government became an abstraction that quickly dissolved, and the military was no where to be found. These entities could not calm the people, because it was the Earth They were after. All the tall buildings in the world collapsed. That thief, he wouldn't get very far.



We ran with fear but ignored the feeling. Something told us this was just the first phase. Panic loomed but the prospect of absolute extinction sank deeper, deeper, and deeper. Something we could not percieve, would finally nullify our hopes, dreams, and desires. We were running and then, we jumped -

Loser, my ass! I'd love to see you put a bottle down like me.

images.

All the years I spent
Implanting it into my head.
I'll prolly never be free of it.
It'll never be free of me.

My world's crumbling around me
and I'm distracted.

I've been having difficulty lately distinguishing reality from dreams. I gotta start staying away from people. I don't know what I'm liable to say or do.

What was it, barking?

Sopranos S.4( best season) E.10

Where Chrissy gets high and sits on Adrianna's dog.

"She must have crawled underneath there for warmth."

Priceless!

Maybe your elves can build me a brain.

eatkhash

Had my vodka,
Had my khash,
Threw it all up,
Had a heart attack,
Did it all over again

Little Children

"you almost finished there? cause i'd really like to go on my walk."

I think it's going to be my new Magnolia.

chia pet

just soak your chia
spread the seed
and watch it grow

and now i'll give her a bonus gift
said the man

she said
now i can get him cuddly, again

baby,
can you order me an alarm clock
in the morning