mkvc

how lucky can one guy be

i pictured her and she said things to him

it's like another guy said,

aint that a hole in the boat-

my pants keep getting skinnier,

my fish are named Jezebel

i don know, she think she cute

....but!

say... 

say my name

say my name  

put the coupon to the test

say it's rock hard tell me those are
things to him before

(annotated - * remembering)

vi kes ban

loser, my ass, i'll show 'em, hela spasi...

aoooowwwwww!

that 's what Chelsea says when i don't pay attention to her

dive bar, sears catalog

im gonna go eat at a fancy restaurant .  it's just a decision ive made.  hopefully my girdle doesn't burst. 

ah, westwood, my old stomping grounds.  lots of memories here.  high in bathroom stalls, drunk in car

uh oh here comes Bush with the dumbest lyrics in Alt. Rock.

Can someone explain to me what "Everything Zen" is about?

my sideness it's a hurtsnest

it is break dancing

moby 

i like listening to moby

stupid pigeons

feeding

i love santa monica. 

shirtless cooking show

Babe, we got two parts of me, and one part of you.  We put em in a blender and add....strawberries , Duh!

Audiences goes, "Duh!"

That's my catchphrase on the show.

There is a worldwide mandate to decrease the population through a series of small disasters.  My sources tell me that there is a bridge currently under construction in a mid-level city.  In the near future, officials will deem that bridge safe to cross.  Do not cross that bridge.  You would be a sucker to cross that bridge.  I will keep you more informed.

5

4

3

2

1...

(club music)

d(ancing in his underwear)

maybe it was the russian limonat

limited edition for halloween

my piss is light green.  looks like russian  limonat or jarritos.  almost looks delicious.

i should've taken a picture of it.  i've taken pictures of a lot worse things.

"I've done a lot more for a lot less"

"Darnell's a chump"

overslept again.  such a loser.  too many nice dreams.  in one i was a trial lawyer fresh out of law school, only i looked more like elijiah wood and read health and science magazines.  i was in a group of new grads ready start working in the big city with our girlfriends, mine was nervous and supportive.  there was this one guy in our group who was smug with everyone, and i don't know if the guy with him was his gay lover or his assistant but when we were doing final preparations like buying suits most of us looked disheveled, but not him, and he would go, "I told you, we've been ready for ages." 

im going to cuddle up with a good book and watch a movie

opps got the phrase wrong

im looking forward to sleeping tonight.  i have some stuff to do, then i can hide in bed.

prolly shouldn't gave stopped by for sushi if i was alaready behind schedule.  once i walk in some place, i get insecure if i don't patronize the place.  very bad and neurotic.  

the thing is though ive been having difficulty with  memory or figuring what im going to do today.  usually i can picture my route, but today it's just a constant blank.

you know what my fav episode of. 30 rock is?  when jack donoghue has to finalize his divorce with isabella rosselinni 

and their arbis

i love that drinking sequence

Move over Rover, and let Jimi take over

I brought a little notebook with me.  So this time I can write out my rants, the cock cunt and sucking, and see if I missed anything.

Ah, yes, makes for good fodder, but I walked in and out of court today.  It was a big deal.  I stood there and my body started shaking while the judge and lawyer hammered it out:   It wasn't a big deal the morning before, the afternoon, evening, then i went numb and molested iti mean, i didn't even have enough signatures and still i thought the day before, im sober now  i got no reason to lie.

I eventually went in brazen but not at all. and numb, like a presumptuous insect.  I had no other options, underneath i knew that probably must fall.   i tried not to avoid eye contact, there were two woman in the stands with thighs you could raise your kids on

 i tried not to look at bailiff for too long then i was convi ced that the the woman in the desk under the judge had caught  on and was using code words with the bailiff and my pa—even he impli

ill do this latet

This can't go on.  That's what, that 's what I've been saying—this whole time, all these years.  I mean it as much now...only before—and this I'm thinking of a few years back—that in these states, I would chide myself for wasting my time.  All of it was one complete waste of time, see, and there were no little parts or spaces in it that were anything else, and I was essentially wasting time.

But now I think it's deeper than indulging.    It covers up the whole word.  There'sno connotation.     If I was baffled before, I'm not.  

I've become it.

Fu

 C

In other news,

Djgws

T

Rhg

Goog work, guys.  Masterclass theater.  ...hey, Hey!  Stop pushing me....Oh, I think Carlo has something to say....

Isco!!!!!

Get our El Clasico on!

Got my jersey, got my coffee, my bundt cake....a rock to throw at a neighbor's window in case Messi scores

Can't wait to see Pepe and Suarez kill each other. 

Hala Madrid!

Chelsea's going to keep me up all night.  It's her ear again.  One of them is really red.  I'm not sure what to do.  I wish there was some sleeper hold you could use on dogs.  Or, like, if I could punch her face hard enough to knock her out but not kill or hurt her.  Maybe blow some weed in her face to numb the pain, if I had some.  Maybe say I gotta go to the bathroom—she won't get offended—then sleep in the bathroom.

She's such a mop dog.  Always lying on the floors.  Very unlady like. 

I don't know if I should use a Q-tip, in case it inflames the situation.  What if there's a bug in there, and I push it in even further and it makes her even more of a genius.

If I pet her all night, she forgets about the pain.

Maybe I could put some benedryl in some cheese.  Shit, I would take the benedryl to forget about her trying to scratch her ear all night.

I'm a pickle.

Don't like staying up late.  I start missing Hugh.  

Hugh was a wild and crazy guy.  When we hung out together we were just two wild and crazy guys.

one little post won't hurt

it's pretty hard without you.  I got no one to talk to.  the other day I'm at the 99 cent store shopping for soups, pens, drinks, and toothpicks, and I see cup o noddles beef flavor, with a picture of a cow....

like, why don't they call it "cow flavor?"

I can't lie down on my right side for too long

guess i gotta part ways with you too

Vbvv

Fcvb

Ggbv

Ghv

I think I've reached my limit

Fbvvv

Gvvv

all i can ever be to you is a darkness that we know

Ah! Give me Amy or give me death.

Hvc

Gggc

Bvvv

Dggv

Cvvnj

"I have a question for you, pop tarts..."

Man, Keanu Reeves was at his best in Parenthood, and Speed, and that one where his friend jumps off the cliff.

"The best action film in 30 years."

"Keanu Reeves at his best."

Hey man, I could work out with LeBron James.  I mean, I could keep up.  You mean to tell me because he listens to those head-phones?  Faggedabiddddd!

Booorattt

Boowrattt,

time for sexxxxxexx

Vgcv

 Boooratttt,

Boooratttt,

time to have sexxxx

"The children.  We must not hit the children."

Fuckin Borat.

Guess I'll have to be an NFL fan today.

I stopped watching Shameless cause there was too much sex in it.

hold on, i'm practicing my signature

eatkhash

eatkhash

eatkhash

eatkhash

eatkhash

eatkhash

eatkhash

i think everything will be all right for a few hours.  This morning was horrible.  It was all clear for a few minutes.  I had a slice of pizza and before i inew it i had eaten half of it.

Njnn

Gnikm

Vvxa

Vcxa

How can I ever ekscape it, that big mighty mistress?

I just realized!

The whole Ali G show opening is a homage to Mr. Bean.  I never caught that before.

This seems like a professional conversation, the two in the nearby booth.  It's not two coworker friends in the same uniform on their lunch break.   I can tell by the way he's nodding his head so intently so as to show he's following along.  If this were a casual conversation, the way she's going on, guy would probably be thinking, God when is this bitch going to stop talking about her boyfriend and blow me already.

But no.  I think she's his supervisor.  Guy's probably lazy, or shows up late too often.  He's still probably not paying attention—just nodding his head. 

I prolly shouldn't stay in Hollywood any longer than i have to.  Yea but i want some hawaiian bbq.  guess this blog's hit a low point

You shouldn't do anything illegal.  I don't.

the future

get us the fuck outta here!

need me some of that turkey grease

Oh, it was 54 mil

Mm,m

I got no use for TNT, or NBC, or USA intelligence.  It's HBO or death.

The Bunk

- Lester do love listening to other peoples' phone calls....a bit of a pervert, that way.

bad cops

Lt. Daniels, I mean he could've been one of my favorites but he came from Oz, that undercover who gets hooked to drugs

I mean what kind of man gets hooked on drugs?

McNulty and Bodie

- We should do this again some time.

- (Bodie, cynical face)

- Don't go making no furtive moves.

- No doubt.  Don't go breaking no pencil points.

racoon vs. eatkhash

Vs.

This one time, I'm trying to get my high on, and there's a fucking racoon outside my window—not a little possum baby, but a full weight racoon—staring at me

So I scare him off then meet him in the backyard and we're both more afraid of each other than the other knows and we're both karate kicking in the air.... So we both kinda back into our holes

I'm not gonna hurt the little bastard unless he goes after my dogs

There's a snake in my backyard and a raccoon.  I have been having to yell at my dogs when they insist on going outside.  That's bound to fuck them up, but I'm not taking any chances.

I gotta go two episodes back on the Wire, I got distracted last night with my blog live commentary, i missed a bunch of shit like when amayor Carcetti finds out about the $5 mil or sumthin education deficit. 

I'll tell you exactly what I did with my winnings

appr $14 went towards a pint of Jack 

-Do you want cash?

-Let me get that pint of Jack, and you can keep—on second thought, you better just give me all the change.

$1 went to a homeless Armenian man in sweats and no shirt, he smelled like my grandpa before he died—that is to say, piss.  I said, Get a goddamn job, Al.  You have a negative attitude!

$2 dollars went towards the 7th Tradition.

$19 (including tip) went towards a double shot of jack, w/ sprite back.  They were out of diet coke.

$10 (including tip) went to one more single, for the road.

$2 to the Group, for two cans of diet coke.

$9 (including tip) for a single jack straight diet coke back at _____.

$8 for footlong tuna tuna and Lays Classic at Subway. A nickle for the sandwich artist.

No one's gonna trash my Van Nuys!

So, check it.  I was standing in front of the cashier at the Kwikie-Mart today, just doing my thing, going about my business, just all-around keeping it real, when I noticed a stash of scratchers that somebody had left behind.  This neanderthal had bought like $100 in scratchers and just ran the bar codes through the scanner without actually scratching the main parts—like no foreplay, just straight to the point.  None came up winners; and I imagine he got angry and left them all there.

So I start currying favor with the cashier.  So I guess your counter is someone's trashcan, huh? What is this, Ecuador?...What were they, raised by wolves?....It's bad enough they're indulging such vices...

So as I'm waiting I shuffle through the scratchers, in case there's a winner, and I notice one with no marks on it.  Not even the bar code had been scratched off.  This bozo bought four of the same $10 scratcher.  Three of them were losers, like him, and he didn't even check the fourth one—maybe he had an epiphany.  One's eventually gotta give you something back to keep you hooked.  I looked up at the cashier and said, You know what, you better let me throw these away.  These days—and surely it is a sad state of affairs when cliches undermining the decency of human folk are true—you want something done, you got to do it yourself.

So I put the scratchers aside and forgot about them.  When I got home from work again, I was so drunk and depressed, I went to sleep muttering at everything.  I woke up in time to make the last AA meeting of the night.  There's a bar next door, and I like to watch the Mexican girl sweep up.  Sure enough, I took out that scratcher, and in the fast spot I won 100 shamoolians.  

I waved it in the air, and said, "Hey baby, you impressed now?"

She looked up, shook her head and waved me off, and continued sweeping.

We have literature in the coffee area

- Nice coffee area.

Gus Hiddink's a bum!  A bum!  What the hell were they thinking?  Look at his time at Chelsea.  He was relying on a penalty even after the ref waved it off.  A bum.

Listen to me, look, shut up! Lester Fremon.  I'm going to work.  I don't want you searching for annnnnymore bodies till I come back.  Got it?

i love the sound of detox fans in the darkness

im not alone

I mean, seriously, Landman tells Lester, you can't go looking for bodies, then you can't go adding bodies, Lester.  I swear, Lestrer Freamon's so annoying.

Go home, Lester Freamon, go home....give us all a break

idiot Herc

can't ever catch a break

The Wire Live Commentary

-You ain't standing by no rat motherfucker, is you?

-(cunning Michael) Nah, man.  I ain't standing with no rat....

boom boom boom

That's right Michael, you stand by your true friends!  Before you get all hard.

Fuckin Bubbles

He irons his pants, got his own little abode and setup, watches out for the youngins, got a good vonacular

Frank Black

dun dun dun dun:

"This wrinkle in time can't give it no credit

credit

I thought about my space, 

and it  really got me down

got me down

I got me so down

i got me a headache

headache

my heart is crammed in my cranium

and it still knows how to pound"

why you gotta be a hard rock when you a real gem, babygirl

Sadly, I didn't make my gambling committment tonight.  Tuesday nights are my gambling nights, where—and this is very ingenious—I use my winnings to fund my drinkings.  But I usually end up drinking so much thst I find myself in Hollywood getting something worse, then ruining my whole week, every week.  So today when I got home from work, I was so drunk I just lay on my bed like in a casket—i never moved—and drifted in and out of dreams all night.  When I awoke, I was almost dismayed at not making nothing out of my night, me being a playboy, and went vroom vrooooom vroooooom vrooooom before the stores closed.  Purchased by me was

- one a tuna sandwich

- one a Lays Classic Potato Chips

- a pint of Jameson Irish Whiskey (celebrating them taking two points from those German sluts)

- Two Diet Squirts.

Rented by me from The Library yesterday was one:

- Letters from Iowa Jima

- Mickey Blue Eyes

- The Counselor

- American Hustle

Yea I rent movies from the library.

What's that you say?  You want me to drink you?  But there are people here; think of the scandal!  

I should rip your protective covering with my teeth and spit it at that boy?  But that's only a little boy.  What's that, a legdrop?

But his mother!  What's that, a legdrop?

mango habernero

she sounds sweeter than she is

- you want one tomato?

- Jus give me the fuckin tomato!

i had really spicy boneless wing

i hope this here tomoato helps

had to make a 4am tuna run.  Hard to  ome by a good tuna sandwich at those hours, but thank bog for subway,  all their sandwiches aside, they squeeze the tuna till every last drop of moisture is gone, then get the mayo in there., and with some honey oat bread,deliciousness

Omar

"Boy, you got me confused with a man who repeats himself."

my fav characters from the wire (whole series)

1. Rawls 

2. Landsman

3. Chris partlow

4. Wee Bey

5. Levy

HM: prop joe, Michael, Omar, Clay Davis, Slim Charles ("Yo, murder ain't no thing, but this here is some Day of the Jackal type Shit")

most hated

1. Burrell

2. Lester Fremon

- One typical hotspot in your classrooms will be the pencil sharpener.

- I had a pencil sharperner in my classroom once, till ________ ripped it from the wall and threw it at me.

See, Carver learned something from Major Colvin.

So like in S. 4 idiot Herc is now one of the mayor's bodyguards, but back in s.3 when he was a cop working the Western district with Carver, they used to do shit like ask each other would you do this guy or this guy to be able to fuck this broad, and i swear i won't call you a faggott.  And they'd always end up calling each other faggots, more or less.

he tries that humor with the new bodyguards and it doesn't work.

Start of Season 4, best of the bunch

bowtie pasta soup with sliced carrots and potatoes, mini yellow tomatoes, strings of chicken breast, lays classic

You ever go to tiki bars and look at the paintings of topless Hawaiian women and rank who you'd do?   Oh... I don't either. 

ain't got no friends, ain't got no dance moves, my dogs just stretch out even more when i call them

And God said to Noah: For Great Deals, It's Al's Discount Hardware Store

almost

- Get in.  You stayed here too long.

- Wait, I gotta get the coins out of my pocket.

- Fuck your coins!  Let's go!  ...got them right where I want them, my ass.

- Well,I had to keep up with the chit-chat.  I smile at these people—they're going to know something's up.

- You haven't said one right thing to anyone all day.

- Well, that's debatable. 

- No, it's not.

- Maybe it's all in your head

- I'm not going to sit here and debate you on this.  I'm just not going to do it.

- go

- what?

- He's letting you in.  Make sure you wave.

- I know.

- Go... go

- Will you shut up?  You're making me nervous.

- And don't make that drunken humble face like he's the niceest guy you've ever met—it makes your face look like a slinky.

- (grunts or whimpers) Here we go.  Hey, get me a cigarette.  Don't exert yourself looking for the lighter.  Cops tend to notice shit like you're exasperated and your ass is on the ceiling.

- You nervous?  You're Frontrunner.

- Wait, what?

- Guy let you through, you went into his lane—now you're his Frontrunner.

- I shouldn't have gone into his lane?

- Well, if you weren't so nervous, that question would comfortably answer itself.  But I like Frontrunner! Guy lets me into his lane—if it's good enough for him, it's good enough for me.  Where is he, the bastard, I'll kiss him on the cheek right now.

- It's a bitch-blue Prius

- Ah,don't do the Stareback! Ah, jeez!  You gonna fuck him?  Fight him?  Threaten him?  Look at him,; he's a 42 year old Swede.  You're gonna scare his bitch-blue ass away from a friendly thought.

- Will you sit the fuck down.

- That one, and that one.  Those two mirrors are for soft eyes.

- I was looking with soft eyes!

- No, it's for the girls to look at our soft eyes when they let us be Frontrunner.  With a guy, you get a comradery for the road.  It's a mutual respect.  I mean would you ever walk into a guy's home and pass him in chaplass pants with two political stickers on each cheek?  Fagedabudid!

- What?

- Fuged...abd

- There's no "duh," stupid.  It's ______.  You know, ______.

- What, yea there is, ______

- Not the way you threw it on there.... shit.

-Shiiiiit!

Shiiiiiit!

- Anyway, I like to think of my Prerunners as of a discerning type, ancientt road warrior maps of the nomad—oh no!  It's coming.

- What?

- Ah!

-No?

-Roast Beef.

- Ah!

- Aghhh, around the room, we can prolly put together a pint.  Hey, I'm no hero.  I'm just a guy who doesn't have to drink anymore tonight.  Nothing's going to taste good to eat.

- It's a fuckin oblongata!  Life.

- Oh yea, guy, give it to him.

- You know, I've been listening to your half-cock and bull stories all day.   When do we get to the part about the freakin girls?

- Oh, yea, Skidmark (or lack thereof), the Woman of the Street.  Every Frontrunner's thing, you know, like the Eccliptical White Horse?  They say you'll never get her, and you never will.  She'll come to you if she respects how intuitively you use your turn signals.

Yea, well, it almost worked out between us.

Nice little bow on the package! C'mon baby, let's see those Hogan arms

the build-up

research, correspondence, academics of yore

- Hey Arm, is it chaps, assless chaps, or chapless pants?

- sus ara

malaise despair 

you can't make me go to school, yea well ill cry everyday and let's see who gives

This is a race against time

Aid like to eventually eat

i got nothing left

, there's a good chance i might one night stand this bitch if i stop

oh yea, something is in the oven, something is definately in the oven

i can hardly contain myself, and it's not like it's going to be like all those other times where it was just nothing

Randy, enough pussyfooting around.  We are getting drunk tonight, Randy, big time.  It's just me and you, bud.  No bars, no outside.  And Randy, I don't want to recognize that room at the end of the night.

back to my rathole.  that last stretch was everything i dreaded it to be and found myself becoming a fan of myself or at least cheering me on and thats not what you've been saying at nights

- No, baby, you good.  Right here, right now is all that matters, and 

- I'm Rudy?

- You're good,  and You're Rudy. ...yea...that's good

- I can't do 65.

- You have to.

- I can't.

- Well for christs sakes you can't stay on 40.

this fuckin day just wont end, i may be jinxing myself

The guy's just getting things done—why don't i just leave him alone?  Where did I come from, this portsanks?

i imagine he can walk with his head up everyday.  I ...me ... no.  Me fickle? no me fickle.  No, I don't mop around about it; each day isvbetter than the last.  I think ive become self aware.  He listed Palm Springs as his interests.  Maybe he was being ironic.

I would lose an argument with him easily, about our self-worth.  And he would make those points, easily and if he only knew i have a knockout spot

late again

need to smooth it down

Oh yea, can't forget the Burberry

The last phase is when I sit back with that dumb-founded dishievld face, and this time soak in all the truths that are clear to me now, that they have always been there.  All the examples fly through my head, I don't nod,  cause I'm dumb-founded, remember?  I bask in it like I'm under the sun, and I agree like a slow witted giant farmboy  when his brother chides him for scratching his penis in public.

My perfsonal failures.  Not my actions, not regret, not even humorous cyncism to quash that insect bite—that's sober talk.

But more down to the level of an essence, like my Goodness, if you will.  Oh, that was a convient typo—I meant Godness. Okay, let's not get off scattered and some of us in digressions.  Okay, guys, here's the plan—bring it in... we gotta beat Valley next week.  I'm naked right now, you know?  I don't feel so—Shut up, shut up!  I got it! (I gotta finish this shit before work.  I've lost time, days and nights, lost time for like weeks, it seems like,, still I'm always in a hurry...

-Lost what, Coch?  It ain't like you lost anything that was yours to begin with.

-(What?  What he say—stupid kid?)  Well if want to get possessivve about it.  Wait!  Hold him.  Did you mean time or the things I'm saying in my head?  Okay, Shut up!  I got it.  It's so simple you eeghead footballers wouldn't have come up with it—well, except for maybe, Hesel, our last quarterback who decided he wanted to study some professor's neuroscience books and produce R&B hits with a clothing line—is that even doable?  What was he thinking, right?

-((quarterback)  Gee, I don't know, coach—I mean, you're flailing around all over the place....I'd just as soon go about my business.

- Yea but quarterbacks get pussy, right?  I mean, you ever hear of a quarterback who could throw but was a bit abrasive on the other field.

-(qb) ...

- Right, right.  Don't mind me, it's the aging—the muscle's a brain, too, you know?  It's the biggest one—well.... Am I right or am I right?  Wield it with care, gents.  Course these days, sometimes I think the kids in AV club have more cheerleaders... Well, good talk, guys.  I want to see some hustle out there!

- (Over to his Asst. Couch) ...Well, I feel pretty good about this.

-(asst. Coch) I told you not to talk to me unless the Superintendent or them kids were around to hear.  Once it comes out, your foot fetish or whatever you have, I'll—

(Coach) Wait, shut up! I got it....Godness was not mean to be ironic.  It was like that intangible thing that makes my essnce, mine, ours...

- (asst. )  Don't go comparing us.  I don't whisper to the human heads in my fridge at nights.

-(You see it uses objective reasoning with clear cut examples,—and sometimes it'll reveal things like correlations  in  behavior patterns of something recent from something brushed off before.  Did that sentences make any sentences,, I feel like I lost it all.

- (asst.)  Will you shut up!

- Look, I can't do this right now. I have to go.  There are things I must do.  I appreciate your help.  I have to leave now.  I have to go.

I didn't get to the part where Iin my sordid ratlike existence found myself sad, .bemused and summing  up this random Glendale girl based on her profile and picture captions after I stumbled upon her comments to a Glendale man's picture.  Oh, his picture was a Brabus, and his captions would advertise cars for lease.  It was n't funny at the moment, it was all poignant, me looking in

i do the same shit they do

the bloody hole

http://www.dogster.com/lifestyle/dog-rescue-adoption-blind-chihuahua-chica-breeding-pictures-photos

before my brain gets back on the clock

http://www.dogster.com/the-scoop/ebola-virus-spain-authorities-euthanize-kill-dog-excalibur

they killed the dog.  

it doesn't matter

nothing matters

cause i got mine

Vvv

i'll always be alone.  im not made to love. It just, i dunno, it just makes me want to sing ballads.

(coughs)

There's a door

in the floor

that leads to

my broken hesrt

there's a space

and a time

where all good children

go to die

and there's a space

and a time

for you to check The Times

Sometimes your watch is good

And sometimes your watch is bad

But when an airplane crashes

a child grows up

Unless that airplane falls on the child

in which case, ohhhh yea,

the child never grows up

hmmmmhmm hmm hmmm hmmm hmmm

about a girl - nirvana

Vvbn

Ghvb

Vb v

Vbbb

Out looking for a meatball sandwich.  Comfort food—I got dumped, you know...

Oh, who am I kidding?, el whomo yo jokir?  ay, ay, ay miserables!, of course I understand.  I can piece it together.  

The choices we make.  Try to remember me for the good things.

Mosquito bite on my left ankle.

I don't even want to know what that means....what the hell, babe!

I'm sick of these stupid people and their stupid program.  You can yourself alcoholics?  It's an urban sweat lodge for white chicks with tight asses.  ...Sorry, I'm in a foul mood—I got dumped.

Nope, just my mistress.

Might as well just go to sleep and look for her.

I think she dumped my no-good ass.  Me!  The most eligible bachelor in _____, and on this day of all days, my birthday.

What am I going to do now?  Did you think about that?  Did you think about that when you waltzed back in?  You don't seem to have a problem moving on when the situation calls, what am i going to do?

She must just be on an airplane over here.  It's her turn maybe.

I guess last week was the icing on the cake?  What the fuck did you expect to happen to me after all these years?  My brain was going to get progressively better? Go ahead and leave.  See if I care.  

My left ankle.

- If there's an itching in my right ankle, it means she wants to make love tonight.  If I discover that itching is from a mosquito bite, she's trying to convey that she has a 20-minute break and it's up to me to get there in time.

- If I encounter a heavy set blond white woman, 37-54 years of age, my babe wants me to hop in the shower and run back to bed because she loves the scent of my body wash.  To indicate my compliance, I whisper the word, "Bourgeoisie  Pig" to the woman.

- If there's a ringing in my ear, she's melancholy, and I close my eyes.

- A sharp pain in my right temple means she can't find her cell phone, so I press it to indicate to her where she last left it, my love.

- If I'm sweating too much in room temperature, she is checking her e-mail.  However, If I'm sweating profusely in an air-conditioned room, she is alarmed, and may have accidentally flagged a work e-mail as junk or used her work e-mail for a personal correspondence.  

- If I short sun-burned migrant worker holds the door open for me as he passes, she wants to send me a kiss, so I reply by running my fingers down his back.

- When I am in the hospital and the doctor comes in with a clipboard, she just got back from the gym.

- A black kid trying to sell me his demo tape means she thinks we should see other people and I start crying.

- A pain in my right side simply means she is thinking of me.