After a couple circles of the block, I felt in good spirits, and I happily brought it home with the third.
Next year, I'm going to be a winner. Well wishes.
new years eve thought #3
I was starting to get the mild blues. So I thought...you know, what else is new? But when it started boiling over medium, I decided to walk.
new years eve thought #2
They sit among friends—friends of age and friends of wisdom. The tangy smokehouse scent of barbecue from a nearby hut permeates the winter air, tender and crisp, like a chicken strip.
new year's eve thought #1
I bought myself a cashmere beanie for christmas. The truth is, it's only 30% cashmere. The rest is wool. And although it's true—and those who know me the closest can attest to this, those who have been with me through the thick of it—that I harbor no resentments towards the wool, I can't help but wonder what it would be like to have all of the cashmere.
Some times at nights, in the crisp winter air, I think about dry cleaning; some evenings, I'll sit among the gentle breeze, and upon a belly full of port, I'm wont to reminisce about those times when my head was cold.
Dear Sirs,
My name, is Moses Malone. I have built a home for boys with troubled teens they can barely even reach. Now they have a home; they no longer have to roam. My brother, Moe Malone--who broke his toe when he had no other place to go--now stays at home, spits at cats, plays with cards--ruffled ones. He hates his bat, but he loves his wife; he chews the fat on Christmas night. He hates the dark, like a stillness on his heavy heartness.
We are writing to you on the strange occurrence of some loud noises we had heard us. Our neighbors, Al and Betsy, love to play, Who Ya' Fancy? But Betsy is a bit unfaithful and blurts another's name. Al feels harshed, he wounds her heart, and he blows them all away.
Sadly, Tom and Clancy, our two neighborhood Nancys-- who were nightly found among the frowns of the local Bullhead bar, giddy and dancing but ne'er gingerly prancing--were also at this scene. Now with sad regrets, we'll do our best to kindly put a word for the man who took from our drop-out friends their chance at beauty school.
He was borne of a wayward man, who wandered in and out of lands--he called himself a fisherman. Out on the coast, he met a host for a one night toast; but in the seaside, he could not hide and all his dreams were cast ashore in waters foul and cross--such was the burden, his name was shortened from that Albatross. He wasn't great, big, or tall; yet we seldom saw him scowl. Sometimes with scorn he would meet the morn in search of the home his wife found warm. He otherwise commanded no attention in on-lookers; nor did we hitherto view him as a villain.
That is all you'll hear from us regarding this unpleasant matter. Let us now put down our brows, and care for each others' sons and daughters.
fertile rapper - milkman
a million dollars
a million bitches
fuck a day
do at a time, feel me?
Fertile is my name
and Vast is my Land
uh-huh, here we go...
I remember when I met ya
schoolgirl, you thought I'd hesitate
but I milked ya'
That night, the lights were beaming
the stars from your eyez
and my gold teeth
I remember, yo, prior to dinner
plucking flowers
from yo neighbors' gardens
to present to yo parents
(Yo, fuck those flowerz!)
Now i be droppin them gold bar bullions
at the doorstep in the mornin
And yo daddy he hoards them in the basement
I'm like the Milkman!
I brings the steak
over the holidays
every mothafuckin one of them,
from New Year's day to all
them Jewish days
every evenin'
When we be eatin'
Yo parents know
that I stuff yo basement
Uh! Stuff yo basement
beef brisket, gold-plaited n' shit
salty mouth-waterin slab of chuck
with spices and chives
on my wood chunk chuck
I'm like the Milkman!
I'm Yo Milkman
(Fertile Rapper
drops tuesday)
Open up your heart.
Stuff it with rice, onions, and basel.
I want to dive into your soul,
because it's the warmest, deepest
but smallest lake in an average-sized country.
It's the first day of winter, my dear.
I think about you when it is cold.
Also at nights, or stopped at red lights,
or shopping for desk accessories;
I think about you then, too.
You are a Post-it on my heart.
You are a constant on my To-do list.
"Do her." That one I don't cross out.
I want your tongue sandwich, woman.
Your stomach probably tastes better than a cow's.
Oh, what am I saying?
The silly little zephyrs in my mind--
It does! It does!
It definitely tastes better.
meeting of council of voices
Act I, Sn. I
-(Frank) Pick Gregger's.
-(me) Gregger's dream?
-(Frank) No, Gregger for Mayor.
-(me) All right, all right. So I'm walking with the--
-(Frank) No, I don't like Gregger's dream.
-(me) Oh, come on!
-(Frank) Pick something else.
-(me) That's not fair.
-(group) Yea, that's not fair, Frank.
-(Frank) No, pick something else. I don't like Gregger's dream.
-(group) You're not being reasonable, Frank.
-(Frank) Yea, I'm reasonable.
-(me) Be reasonable, Frank.
-(Frank) I am being reasonable. Quit arguing.
-(me) All right, All right. Which one do you want to hear?
-(Frank) How 'bout Gregger's dream?
-(group in commotion) Really, now! Frank!
-(me) This is silly. Let's just ask Gregger.
-(Frank) Why are you asking him?
-(group) Gregger's not here.
-(Frank) Per the Group conscience.
-(me) Gregger? Are you here?
-(group) Gregger's in Cabo.
-(Frank) Cabo, Zimbabwe.
-(me) No, that's not right.
-(Frank) Yea, it is.
-(me) You're being unreasonable.
-(group) Be reasonable, Frank.
-(Frank) I am reasonable. This isn't getting us anywhere.
-(Me) Let's return after the break.
taking a break
What is the difference
if there is only local indifference?
See this here space?
This this here space?
This is where it used to be.
There's people in their cars, waiting
lot of eggs to be cracked--
And what do we do with the shells?
We throw them down the gutter
with our lit cigarettes into the dried leaves,
because we wear bandanas now! and
carry crevices in our worn faces .
You see what I'm trying to say?
That people look at us now.
We have schoolgirls making bird's milk in factories,
all the lights have turned green;
the President thinks he's above the Unions,
and the Unions are usually pro-wrestling.
I'll tell ya, Howard Magnella must be turning over in his grave;
and his brother, Rocco Morengo, isn't doing his legacy any favors.
Our peasants still lick their index fingers
while the rest of the Provinces use gate-ways and soft-shares.
And to what do the Proequitarians ascribe the recent Northern Mudslides?
A mild shift--It makes me sick! to even think about it
Where is my smoking jacket? It's getting gray here in the evenings.
The sky was nice, blue all around and the clouds like friendly cotton--
Friendly cotton? What the fluff?
Look, it was near evening, and the weather was pleasant, nearer to warm than to...chilly?
The weather was nice, so I decided to walk. I was going to hop on the bus, but I decided to walk. I would catch up with the route at a later stop, as the day was mild enough for a brisk...constitutional! I felt good. I was strolling. I had one hand in my pocket, and the other swinging comfortably--it was not a strut. A nice, calm, serene stroll--and the idea of the bus and its city atmosphere grew less appealing to me until it was less than appealing
I stayed on my path and sang Sanjay's polka, stopping once in a while to stretch my legs if I felt a slight strain. I was passing a gym and pondered that if I go out to eat with an acquaintance and can't find a healthy option, there is a quick push-up exercise one can do while waiting for the food...to make things a little worthwhile. In a small space away from the table, one can stand and go down for one push-up, then get up and go back down for two push-ups; then one would again get back up and go down for 1-2-3 push-ups, and so on and so forth. This challenging exercise can put some of the forthcoming protein to use--eating for a purpose, as it were. Of course, it will look a little strange in a crowded or uptight environment.
I passed by a park where some guys were playing flag football, a couple girls were in yoga positions, and there was a game of amateur field hockey in progress. I approached the rink and took a seat in the stands. I watched the game for a short time; some friends and family of players were also in attendance. A few boys without uniforms were roller-blading outside the rink, and the whole scene strangely reminded me of flies. I moved my head around to follow the puck and at some point, I decided I wanted the Red team to beat the Blue team. I had to leave after about 10 minutes to get to my destination in time, and hoped the players would not get offended by my leaving. Before I moved, I realized that was a neurotic thought, and that I was self-absorbed. I wanted to get on the field and tell the guys, "Guys, I gotta go." I wanted to bring the referee in on the huddle and turn to the Blue team and motion to them using my wristwatch. I noticed other spectators leaving to use the facilities, then returning, and I used that as my move.
And then--well, and then I walked till I got somewhere else. At that point, I sat down. The end.
Someday, O Sanjay
you're going away
back home to meet your wife
you led a good life
here in the States
and earned your wages
the father of your bride
when she was a child
met your parents
on a fateful day
Someday, O Sanjay
we'll miss you Monday
when you don't show for work
Though the employees
will carry that weight,
our good patrons what will they say?
Someday, O Sanjay
the donuts are stale
the hoodlums have gone away
Sanjay, O Sanjay
the coffee is cold
the new guy can't get with the fold
Sanjay, O Sanjay
the write-offs are high
we lost the number
of our burrito guy
Someday, O Sanjay
we're doing okay
we hope you're well
in your native land
I decided to nibble on some crispy bread and feta cheese with my tea after dinner. I ended up eating the whole fuckin loaf with various types of creamy cheese spreads, and a boatload of pecans and macadamia nuts. This tells me that I should be eating more daily to avoid leaving myself vulnerable to such impulsivity. The plan is now to get in some cardio before bedtime, to be at ease, as neurotic as that may sound. But fuck, it's Friday night--if that's my only vice for the night, then I'm at least doing all right.
For dinner I had a bland salad standing up. That was not very filling or fulfilling, and I hold that accountable as an inappropriate choice. I should have went with my instinct. I asked the girl which one's better? and she said that one's very popular. I should have opted for the former. Fuckin salad.
I also missed a court date.
and then you become...nothing?
what does that even mean?
Man, when I go, it won't be romantic or poetic--i'll tell you that much. I'll go kicking and screaming. I'll throw Tiny Tim in front of me--I don't care. I'll nudge my babe ahead of me.
life's too short for tests
You ever hear that phrase in some light-hearted conversation or bit on television, and in that passing moment feel that quick pang like the weight of bricks...that at some point, It will be there. And you'll face it or be unaware. But you'll be alone. There might not even be time to look back. You'll be so alone.
By saying, You, it takes some weight off me, or I. This way, I feel a little less alone.
Now back to the simpsons
- Sir, America wants to hear your opinion.
- Really? Are you sure you got the right guy?
- These two men at the table near you are getting engaged tomorrow--
- Good for them.
- What are your thoughts on that?
- I could care less.
- Meaning exactly what?
- I wouldn't march for it or against. Is it, could care less, or couldn't care less? That's what I'm interested in. (aside) Here, get a soundbite of me saying both, then air it accordingly. I don't want to look like the ultimate moron.
- Do you have children?
- None that I know of.
- What if you had children? What would you tell them?
- ...eat your vitamins?
funny dream
Man observing little kid at grocery store with his mother
- (pushing his cart away) Because I'm not gay like you.
- Stupid kid. That's because you're not paying for it... (fuming, his voice down the aisle) That's because you're gay ...elf-fucker!
cinnamon french toast at recess, for .25 cents.
next year it was .35 cents. the next year it was gone.
pilgrims and the mayflower. brown paper hats and i guess indian attire.
i always liked thanksgiving at school.
field trips, waiting for the lunch break and to eat my exciting lunch.
after 12 pm it was hot, i'd come back sweating to class from playing at lunch,
my big yellow ninja turtles water bottle that was frozen in the morning
at best it would be lukewarm and near empty and kind of gross
I'd have sweat and dirt on my hands and the t-shirt i laid out the night before
i wonder what she's doing, what she likes to eat in the mornings,
what things make her laugh, other things i try not to think about,
i wonder if she ever drives, or if she sometimes comes home and her feet hurt
or her body is tired, other things i try not to think about,
i've forgotten how to talk to people on a personal level,
i just use them as another platform, another platform to make myself laugh,
i cleaned my bookshelf today, rearranged my room, my living quarters,
bought a desk and things look nice and invigorated, and clean.
i can't wait to do desk things on it. The task was daunting and then i was too tired,
and anxiety follows. clear surfaces and cd cases, the night. it's just going to get dirty again with the dust and the sun, started getting some triggers while i was going through stuff. things are good except for a small sense of impending doom that should scatter away
I don't know why I can only sleep an hour at a time. Let me tell you about my day. It was a day just like any other. In the morning I had breakfast with the Operations Director and the Head of International Safety and Head of International Safety Regulations. I ordered an egg white omelette with spinach, and a side of low-fat cottage cheese and tomatoes. Afterwards, I returned to my room in the Presidential suite. I joined some colleagues for racquetball, a game which went on for some time. Later that afternoon, I had a suit tailored. I lounged in the dressing room, reading the Journal while drinking tea. I indulged in a flavored biscuit. I was wearing black shoes and business socks, but no pants. I was altogether dignified.
That evening I accompanied my finance to dinner at the Club. She had duck. I ordered salmon risotto. The evening was quite elegant. I had slight gastrointestinal issues. I decided to take my wine with my vegetables, not my desert, like my counterpart. By the end of the course, her cheeks were rosy and her laughter was becoming a nuisance; however, she did appear to be quite horny. We proceeded back to my suite, whereupon I ordered Frederich to fetch some prophylactics and Pepto Bismol.
Shit, Partner, anything that involves numbers or counting is pretty roughly to me
Waking up to shadows standing over me is pretty commonplace to me. This time it was a black guy. Don't worry I'm not being racist--it's not because the silhouette was black, it's because the silhouette had dreadlocks. But in the dark at nights, sometimes, I'll anticipate the motion of someone rushing up to my bed to stab me
usually it's my dog debating when she's going to climb up the rest of the bed
Waking up to shadows standing over me is commonplace. This time it was a black guy, a brother. But, soft! In sooth, 'tis not racism most foul, methinks, for 'tis not as the silhouette is black, but as is was 't'wth dreadlocks!
1300 - that's roughly
A person in Sierre Leone has to work 43,000 hours to make $1300.
A person in Sierre Leone has to work 67 hours to afford Subway's 6 in. Meatball Sandwich, that's on sale for $2 in December. It's Meatball Marinara month.
I should quit smoking. It's unhealthy. I just look so damn cool when I do it. Maybe I can switch to gum shaped like cigarettes. I've never tried to quit. I'll gain weight. That ain't cool. I should go back to sleep. Maybe I'll eat some almonds--maybe I'll smoke!
I was very lethargic after work. My mind was weary. Poetry was hitting me in waves as I tried to sleep, light-headed. I could not grasp it. It said, the water will not wait. No wonder, I only ate 1300 calories.
the water will not wait,
the water will not wait,
I could not grasp it
I ordered the Simpsons Season 1-6 DVDs last weekend. Got it today. Two of the Seasons are brand new. the rest are used but still in good condition. I paid $66. It's a steal! You gotta figure each Season will set you back 30 bucks retail..do the math on your fingers, you'll see. Did you do it?
Look:
3 6 9 12 15 18
that's 6 fingers equals 180.
3 6 9 12 15 18
that's 6 fingers equals 180.
That's 27 Big Macs, or the number of minutes a person in China has to work minimum wage to afford 1 Big Mac.
That's 1 white guy (Lenny), and 1 black guy (Carl)
The nice guy also threw in the Simpsons Movie, which you couldn't even pay me to watch again, but it's still a nice gesture.
I'm very excited. Nevermind that I've seen every episode about 20 times throughout the years, at least the ones from the golden years. I'm going to start in order.
I'm very excited. Nevermind that I've seen every episode about 20 times throughout the years, at least the ones from the golden years. I'm going to start in order.
The Monster that Ate Los Angeles
- Get in.
- We have to save the others.- Fuck the others! This is L.A. Now get in the fuckin' Prius!
- (getting in) Where did you get this?
- Studio City. Some lady left the door open while she rushed into Whole Foods.
- Oh my God! Troy, this could get us out of here.
- I'm getting some great mileage on this, baby.
- And it's great for the environment, too.
- Whatever's left of it.
Coming Soon
Now you try one!
chocolate-cheese burgers
in my dreams
ooey-gooey toad
smack
little girl
(banana peel)
boys and toes
incense by the rain
ran away
the garden dew
southern humid
heat
feel me
breathe
cream and onions
meet the French
by the river
fill their pants
with soup
collect a sword
Colossus rode
wondered more
old and on
"Where the hell?
Wha' the Myth?
she took the fif
she play no more
she took the meal
and played the wheel
The Ancient Wonders
what, with their winders
roared and bound and gagged her
she grew up strong
she ate her mom
raped my son, everyone!
the trifles
like driblets on the battlefield
phewww!
gooey
ew! crumbles the
unfortunate
c o
o
k i
-e
- Khash, get in here.
-(EatKhash, finishing his conversation with the guys as he enters the office) ...Hey, count me in for poker, I'm always the big winner. What's up, Captain?
- You get that blonde last night?
- Yes, sir.
- Good work, Detective.
- Thank you, Captain.
- Park your ass... Word is there's a shipment coming in tonight at the dock. Macedonians. Serbs, maybe.
- What's the source?
- C.I.
- Is it reliable?
- It's Confidential. Cribs, toy chests, plastic playhouses. Those things are hot items in the black market this time a year. Every Slav in the city is going to be selling them out the trunk of his Moskvitch.
- Oh boy. My kids would love those.
- Need you the stake it out till you see some activity.
- Why me, sir?
- Because I don't like you.
- Sir?
- Just jerking you around. You're the most qualified, Detective. And frankly, you're the best I got, Khash.
- (bantering) Well, some things are for certain, Sir. Don't worry, if I see some Bosniak carrying a crib, I'll shoot him dead.
- You do that. And Khash?
- Sir, I haven't forgot about Christmas presents for your children from previous marriages.
- Sonuvabitch! Get the hell out of my office.
Good Morning to you, as well. But they say the Eagle crosses its own horizon only before the dawn.
- How true that is.
- Words I live by. Every day, every morning. Take this back and make another. Make haste, please. ...What's that? This time it wasn't sweet enough.
That there bread is french toast made with egg beaters on supposed whole-wheat full flavor. Know what it tastes like? You guessed it: egg beaters on wheat bread. The shrimp dish is something I threw together with mushrooms, onions, and cilantro. The secret ingredient is red pepper. I washed it all down with Alka-Seltzer Plus Night and a cigarette.
I read somewhere--yea I've been known to lick my index finger--that having a small meal before bed with higher carbs over protein helps you sleep. I'm thinking my meal is roughly 200-220 calories, with 27g of carbs and 20g of protein.
I call it, Le Pete Vong Ughm de la Sol a Amelie (or known colloquially in Avignon as, Le Petit Fete.)
I've been chewing this protein bar once in awhile when I feel like something sweet, and once satisfied, I was lying down and scratching myself while reading the gooey wrapper, and, turns out, it's a luna bar designed for women. I don't know, I thought this sentence would be funnier coming out.
Go to hell.
I've been chewing this protein bar once in awhile when I feel like something sweet; once satisfied, I was lying down and scratching myself while reading the gooey wrapper--turns out, it's a luna bar designed for women.
I've been eating this protein bar once in awhile when I feel like something sweet. And once satisfied, I laid down and read the wrapper whilst scratching myself in bed. It turns out, it's a luna bar designed for women.
This protein bar, I eat
Recently, I realized that a protein bar I consumed to satisfy a sugar craving was designed for women. I came upon this discovery while scratching myself in bed and reading the wrapper of said item.
While scratching myself in bed and twirling my chest hair, it dawned upon me like an iceberg that I've been eating a candy bar made for chicks.
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