"Look, I know that you know that I know that you want me, Connielinguist."

Nothing like a cigarette after an ass-blasting workout.

Babe I started working out.  Pumping iron and shouting slogans.  I'm huge.

By this time next year we can make good-looking love.

uh oh, I'm not going to be able to use commas for a while.

The Big Boot to the face

He hits the ropes

Leg drop!

1

2

3...

Give him the belt!

Every day I'm sober, I feel a little bit stronger.
By this time next time next year
I'm going to be wrestling for the title.

Dennis Duffy

Beeper Salesman
Subway Hero
(Exonerated) Dateline Predator
Coffee Vending Machine Owner
Sex Addict

I spotted a green spiderwed of an evil, venomous spider.  In my house, my own house! Where I live! With my child, my unborn child! I almost threw up.

I kicked it with the tip of my slipper and shrank back.  Turns out it was that net I ripped off my tangerines.

The Mayoral Debate ( Mayor of Rap)

-Mean Gene: Mr. Cereal Killa, what are your thoughts on Pope Francis?
-hiss! hiss! hiss!
-Mean Gene: Your reputation precedes you, Mr. Killa.
-Brotha Flava: His head looks like a peanut!
-Cereal Killa: Well, Gene
-(ughm hum)
-Excuse me, Mean Gene, I, for one, believe indubitably
- 'N famous: Indeed
- Cereal: ...that he looks like a gangster, throwing up peace signs and shit on CNN,
like whoomp! whoomp!
- 'N famous: Hear them say...
- Cereal: Negro, shut yo mouth!
- Brotha Flava: Yo, we been hearin', the things they sayin'
- 'N famous: Like, turn his mic down low!
- Mean Gene: oh lala...Hey!  hey, Hey!  This isn't the Soul Train Awards!  Betty Boop don't want none of you!
- Brotha Flava: Tess.
- Mean Gene: Moll.
- Levinstein: ...say Emma.
- Cereal Killa: Sylvia, I'd eat her head.
- Levinstein: That's a dealbreaker!

Dateline NBC

- Brotha, now's your chance to set the record straight.
- Yo, word.
- We are talking about the incident, the dastardly deed--
- Yo, is that good?
- Let me ask you now, bluntly--
- Heh, Aw yea!
- Did you have any involvement in the cowardly shooting of your rival, 'N famous at the Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles?
- Man, @&$*that teardrop *&$*#!.  @*#%& said is HIV plus!  Nah, @&$* that!  If I got that fool, *#&@ would be a cadaver, feel me.
- Thank you, Brotha.  That will be all.

Met this girl in my dream.  We were sitting across each other at the library.  She smiled with her buckteeth.  I thought this girl looks like a clown.

Next day she was there again and I felt like I haven't in a long time.  I sat next to her facing her.  She was sitting Indian style with her bare feet.  I picked up her socks from the ground and I realized Im in  love.  Her smile made me smile like I'm...like I'm beaming!  I asked her to take me to Burger King so I can use the bathroom.

I woke up while I was in Burger King.  I tried to go back but I couldn't.  Doesn't matter though.  Cause I'm in love!

This just in...

Aspiring rapper, Orenthal "'N famous" Danger Wallace Wallace, best known for his anthem, "Let's Eat Children," and his highly publicized feud with "Brotha Flava," was walking out of this Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles seen behind me, with a meal, apparently for the children, when an unidentified gunman reportedly fired a hail of bullets at the now infamous rapper.  Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles, ironically famous for its highly unorthodox dinner combo - Wait!  I'm getting word, scratch that, yes!  Let's take you to Rick Steves:

- 'N famous, are the rumors true? Is that child-

- Ah, he shot me in the ass!  

Another meeting with Levinstein...

- We need you to get shot.
- Ah, jeez!

The new guy on the scene - 'N famous and Brotha won't fuck with him, I think they actually called the po-lice on him

The Cereal Killa - Trix are for Kids
-

Oh my chocolate child,

Oh, what's in the box?

Don't be scared, child.

Ohhh baby,

put the lotion

yea,

in the basket

Oh baby baby

ba ba baby

put the lotion!

Brotha Flava - Up in he'

Up in he'

Up in he'

 ugh!

Up in he'

Up in he'

ugh!

Up in here

In the Hollywood Hills

smokin bowls

spittin truth

floatin on ideas

for reality TV

with Mike Tyson

who would get in the ring?

for a million and three?

'N famous

you with yo intervention'

with baby mamas

and jew lawyers salivatin'
- 'n you'll get Daddy Dick later

No, I aint HIV

my mother's proud

and my woman's righteous.

I ain't got none but one

but up in here

we got Cool J

and he's gonna knock you out!

My mama said

He can knock you out!

Brotha Flava interview

"Can't believe Orenthal would play me like that... My mother never even got a decent refund."

'N famous - Hit dat Ho

Looks like some ppl

got too much to say

I says I sees

what they aint 

willin to say

Brotha, what you hidin?

we all know, you

Hail In Virginia,

does your mother know?

ohhhh weee!

Yo baby St. Alishius

she pretty Fellishous

when she walks they kno

n they all know 

that 'N famous 

Hit dat Ho!

Oh!

You stealin cop cars?

What, you ain't got ur own?

We all know,

you ain't got the greens

 ain't got the flow

 N that your uncle Buster

works for the metropolitan

Hit dat Ho!

- Lyrics by J. Levinstein

Brotha Flava - First on da Scene

( deep bass voice)

The sky is big
but not as big
baby, as yo butt

It's so big
It's so round
I wanna see you
drop it down

Like it's hot
Like it's the bomb
when it hits the ground
the world goes

'round and 'round
ugh!
feel me

'round and 'round
ugh!
feel me

Yo, baby boy, Levinstein called again. Ah, jeez!

'N famous and Levinstein meet.

- We need a feud.

- ...feud?  What you mean, playboy?

-  (shuffling through papers) Need you to battle with someone, "First on the Scene" is hot. (looking up, serious).  Brotha Flava: I did his mother's taxes -

- Who?  Fredic? Little Freddy? I grew up with his -

- You guys should do battle.  Say you

you slept with his wife or something.

- Alisha?  Ah, She's a saint!

- Well then attack each other's street credibility.

- But we don't have any cred, Mr. Levinstein.  We went to Saint Barthemus together.  His brother and me sang in the gospel -

- Well then, do something!  Listen to me, if you want to make those greens, that cheddar cheese, that dollar to make you holler -

- Ah, you is something, Mr. Levinstein!  

- I'll call his mother.  We'll think of something.

'N famous - the SeQel

yo, the situation

they got me facing

i look in the mirror

the mirror is broke

i wanna see my baby girl

watch her grow, watch her smile

innocuous

prembunktious

- too bad her mother's a whore

ever since i got pay me

the chickenheads they want to know

'N famous, what's good wit it?

And that's good 'n all

But if you wit 'N famous

then we good for life

Ugh!

Seems like sometimes

and sometimes sometimes

I don't know when

I don't know when

or if i'll ever get out 

Seems like sometimes

and sometimes sometimes

I don't know when

I don't know when

or if i'll ever get out.

Yo, the game is the game,

and i'll roll the dice

go home to my baby mama's

 myspace friend

She bezerk like my bazooka

we go all night 

the neighbors can take 

white flight

Ugh!

Seems like sometimes

and sometimes sometimes

I don't know when

I don't know when

or if i'll ever get out.

Levinstein says we need a follow up
... to pay for diapers
Gotta put my head in the books,
Praise Be to Allah!

Orenthal "'N famous" Danger Wallace Wallace

ah jeez!  I got hit with another paternity suit!

I've had a lot of offers in the last few days.  I'm blowing up.  My manager, Levinstein, he's telling me to wait.  My boys want to know, can he even flow?  I go, Shiiiitte, I might as well have one of you ignants reading law school.

Levinstein, taking the spoils

Roxanne?  That's a nice name, you have old Hollywood in you?   Whatever, you know why you're here, Roxanne?

-....to fuck?

- No, you're here because I want you to try out for the Eat Children Dancers.  'N famous will have the final say, but I'm narrowing it down for him, if you will.

- Children?  Can't we eat like gluten-free snack bars or granola?  I know this guy-

- No, Children! Strictly children

...

Cause I eats children

ugh!

Let's go eat children!

ugh!

Cause I eats children!

ugh!

Let's go eat children

the debt ceiling,
my ass,
toilet paper
buy my products
buy my shit!

old white men
stick your hand
in the interstice
of bathroom stalls

ugh!
keepin' it real

his fraternity raped him
his mother didn't know
he never spoke up
cause he liked it, yo!

ugh!

when in office
he found a peurta rican whoooooiiire!
his collegues liked it
they shared medical secrets

'N famous Children Eatr

sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you
sink softly with the night that swallows you

let's get drunk!

yo huh
you never know, huh
your favorite show's
been canceled!

They call it the Whopper
they always raisin' their prices
like, what?
turn my mike up, yo!

Cause I eats children,
ugh!
Let's go eat children,
ugh!
Cause I eats children,
Ugh!
Let's go eat children,
ugh!

Yo, I kno what you're thinkin,
that to get from there to here
you gotta go there but you're gonna get got
( 'N famous Child Eatr, y'all)
And if you slippin' then you stumblin
rocks tumbling and you gots to know!


Cause I eats children,
ugh!
Let's go eat children,
ugh!

Let's go eat children,
ugh!