- Watch it, kid, I'll pound you.
Real life Superhero at the Bar
-...there was this kid, he fell through the window in one of those high-rise apartment buildings. I caught him barely halfway down, and he looked at me and said, "Hey, you're not Superman!" I dropped him right there. I was having such a bad day. I tried to make amends to his mom everyday for a week, but she was having none of it. I fled when she finallly called the cops and said I was trying to rape her. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror for a very long time.
- Hey, that boy probably died waiting for Superman to scoop him up.
- That was my intial reaction. I over-reacted.
- Hey, don't be so hard on yourself.
- You think?
- Yea, that kid was probably ugly.
- ...wait a minute—What are you saying? It's dangerous to drink with you.
- Sit down, cavron. I bought the last round.
-$55 dollars? That's not no childhood good times prices.
- I supersize with you, but there's nothing I can do. I'm actually a real-life superhero but this is the only thing that pays the bills—everybody wants Batman or Superman...
- Yea, yea...my grandfather's in an insane asylum that's supposed to be a hospital in another country. Look, you're scaring all the children away with your prices. Where's Ronald? Is Ronald here? I want to talk to Ronald.
- Hey, maybe it's inflation.
- Inflation? That's a big word for a superhero.
- I'm taking accounting classes at the local community college. Once in awhile I'll have a couple drinks with my dinner and go to class in my costume...
- Is Ronald here yet? Or Diet?
- No, sorry...guess my humor's not for everyone.
- Sorry...okay, look, What's your name? My name is Quentin, from the Sound and the Fury.
- My real name, or the Superhero?
-(rolls his eye) whatever, player.
-...Evan...s....Presence.
-Now that sounds like you made it up.
- Oh, you got me! The truth is, I cam never remember the name I was given to attend this planet.
- (scoffs) Just tell Ronald I'll call him back.
I wish the Lord would just takes me away tonight, and like, sends me to Magic Mountain—i mean, it's like 55 dollars to get in. You get your food throughout the day, maybe beer but i wouldn't recommend it because it just makes you drowsy—I really don't get the point of beer—and then on the way out, of course you buy a funnell cake.
What was the point of this post? I forgot? Oh, it was my growing fear of heights.
That's a lot of chips you're playing with,
I said to the man, a work-out coach,
in the park in the dark
under a bench on a light
there's a man up the field
straight ahead with his bags of chips
Do you want to be left alone?
Obviously not, he goes.
That's okay, I thought i'd make this park my own, as well....here, check it out..
- You're showing me your penis.
- Oh, sorry. Wrong one. Hold on...well, at least we got some comic relief—here! It's a bottle of antifreeze.
-Cute, but you won't get anywhere with that.
- What you mean?
- Well, they changed the properties in it to make it unpalatable some time ago. Too many husbands and wives were trying to kill each other off for the insurance money.
-Damn...and they were probably having affairs, too?
- Naturally, I presume.
- Damn!
Some guys walk so uber
when there's a woman next to him
—why do people insist on stupifying their cars to sound like single engine model airplanes from the 70s or 1940/? It hurts my head all the way down the street before I can think
-What's that?
-What, what? Is there a thread on my strand of hair? A spot, for instance, on my countenance? —It's been battled hard. Well, shit, is my fly unplugged?
- No, you loon. That!
- Oh, that's a woman.
- Just as I surmised...I've heard about those. Are those real or is it doll hair?
- As far as I know, it's what she's told me.
- Yea, what with the APR...
- Yea, exactly!
-Yea, exactly! That 's what I was going to say. What, with the hurricane in China and the interest rates on doll strands...
- Human hair for now, but I love her. She can do whatever she wants with her hair.
- Oh, that's cute. Did you get her on sale at the CVS?
- No...no, I didn't.
- Oh. I thought they might have them on that rack by the the pharmacy. Sometimes there's expired batteries and diet water drinks, halloween and seasonal decorations that fell to the floor and got lost in their inventory, you know—you know, some of those batteries are stolen?
- Oh no, it wasn't like that.
- What was it like?
- Kind of like laughing or breathing, now that I think about it. You know it happened so naturally, I forget what it was like.
- Organic, huh? (mummbles) Oh, that shit is right
- Hey, watch your mouth!
- Oh, no, you misheard me...sort of or something
- Brother, I'm about to lay you out!
- Oh no! ...you are in a dream, ghosts, goblins and ghouls, your grandma making you cornbread, you are getting sleepy, so sleep...
- Knock it out, I know it's you.
She has no sense of inner peace, today
she's vacuuming again
she's wearing it down and taking it around the track
like it's a tank, and bulldozing everything
—don't you hate those pretentious people, who don't kill bugs, cause they think it'll score them points in life, then once in a while a fly or something green, well what's another gas receipt
when she was married she assumed her duties
she's hysterical when she rants and raves
it makes perfect sense
she was taught not to understand
I can't sleep. Insomnia's slowly creeping up on me day by day. I'm revisiting the Wire from the start. Tomorrow I think I'll have some Italian for dinner. Spagetti and meatballs, maybe. Some kind of pasta. I can already feel stuffed. I wonder if I'm being manipulative. I hope I'm not. I can't ever be too sure. I like way I'm feeling. Sometimes it's like I don't know how to contain it, like I just got off the phone with her, and I'm going to do 50 cartwheels in my room. The bad thoughts I just quickly shut them off before they can start. I cut them off like they're a Prius. Maybe I'll edge back into my legendary diet. Maybe I'll paint the walls.
This one time last week I went to In-N-Out at 10AM cause I thought it was 2PM and got in an argument at the drive-thru with this girl and said, "This is the second time you guys got my order wrong in as many occasions. I don't know why people are so crazy about your stupid burgers. I'm never coming back here again." Then I started crying and ran away into the bushes and turned back and looked at them.
Later on that night, I went back, cause I still wanted my original order.
- Can I help you with something?
- Yea, um, I see here in your catalog, um, in the schedule of classes... Well I'm looking for some information about classes you offer.
- Right, so all our classes are listed here in the catalog—
- ....about signing up for a class—Oh, Wii Bowling!
- Well, all our classes are for our Senior residents.
- I can't sign up for those?
- No, they're 55 and over.
- Oh, I see. Is there somewhere I can go to find out if there are classes for, like, you know, regular people?
- (laughs). Yes, there are. If you go down to that building next door, there's a Recreational Programs Guide for the city that lists the Schedule of Classes currently being offered. And you can sign up for anything through our website—you just have to create a user name—
- And it'll probably have the Schedule of Classes on the website?
- Yes.
- Okay, I'll go down to that building.
- Okay, do you know where it is?
- Yea, by the gym.
- Excuse me, you guys wouldn't have a Schedule of Classes here would you?
- Actually, yea, it's right there on the table by you.
- Oh, right, "Recreational Programs." Do you know when they start?
- Well, most classes are in their second week already.
- Oh, it's too late to sign up?
- Well, did you have a particular class in mind?
- Yes, Knitting.
- Generally you sign up till the end of the Second Week. But after the Second Week, no one is allowed to sign up for a class. So, currently, we're in the middle of the Second Week.
- Yea but, they're already in their second week—I'll be behind the rest of the class.
- Well, let me see if they're even offering that class. (checking computer) Hmm...I don't see anything...there's "Weaving."
- What's the difference between Knitting and Weaving?
- You know, I'm really not sure.
- I wonder which one's more masculine...
- Here it is: Knitting. There are some classes that don't begin until October, and there seem to be two time slots for the class...there's a 10AM...
- Oh, no.
- ...and a 6PM.
- Oh, that sounds good.
- So that one runs from 6-8pm every Monday evening.
- Wow, two hours? You think they have smoking breaks?
- I'm not sure; but you're not allowed to smoke around here anyway. You can sign up through our website. It'll ask you to create a username—have you ever used our services before?
- Well, I used to play basketball here when I was a kid.
- Okay, all you need to do is create a simple user profile and then you'll have access to all the programs.
- And just enroll through the site?
- Yes.
- $53 dollars huh? Okay, sounds good. Hey, thanks a lot!
- Oh you're welcome.
- I wonder where they got that three from...
I went to a meeting, then picked up a friend and we went for a little drive. I got harassed by cops. He said I was doing like 50-55mph and that I parked to get away from him and his lover, but I know Iwasn't because for the last 5 minuttes I was relating to my friend a story about this homeless kid that hangs around the 7-11 in the neighborhood and how a feew weeks back I bought some taquitos and drinks for him and he refused, which puzzled me and kinda hurt my feelings. We joked that I should have insisted and said, "What, you think you're better than me, or something? Cause obviously, you're not." Anyway, that cop should have seen us when we were nearing ____ 20 minutes earlier.
Then I rented "Captain Phillips" from a vending machine. It's a thrilling movie, but I can't really concentrate. I don't know, I just kept thinking about knitting you a quilt and showing it you maybe when I go to sleep.
I might paint the walls.
Babe, ever since we got back together I've been feeling guilty about reverting back to my old reacreational activities, so I sit there thinking about loving you and stuff and new things to do but I also find my mind running in circles—and there's a lot of space in there, and sometimes neighbors leave their dogs in there—until I just get tired, and...and fall over.
No dreams toniight my love, I was sent to take out a sniper at the bottom of the lake in the mountains—well we were at the bottom of the lake and he was in the mountains. He took out my two guys, when they couldn't take it and they started talking and their heads were bobbling and then their faces were dead
I made it back to the loading dock or airport but no one was there but programned voices in the intercom. I couldn't
Eh, fuck it. World don't care. Babe let me tell you about my dream.
All these years!
All these fuckin years!
Ah, jeez, I feel a million years old and alone.
I think I woke up 8 to 6 times last night,
and each time, God grant me, I closed my eyes and my babe was there.
Usually we were trying to patch things up.
There was a time, we were hopeful and cautious,
but I accidentally ran her over with my car or dropped her while we were messing around or something, while we were together trying to patch things up
and the lawyers got involved, and hers—Yours! My, my only love—
that bitch wanted $11 thousand dollars for medical and 60 grand for puntive.
So babe, we were at 7-11, there was a huge Tyson chicken wing in my blue raspberry slurpee, and while I was trying to get it out
I said, "Babe, wouldn't you rather have my love?"
A few dreams later, we were living together, in school and work
it was so promising, but the same shit....
I couldn't control you like I wanted to,
you couldn't be as free as you wanted to,
I couldn't understand why you would throw me a surprise pool-party with the Mexican soccer team—you had been on campus for a week, you had no girlfriends and all the guys liked you—when I was going to be late from work that day...me, the workaholic!
You think those Mexicans are alalalalalal to each other about being excited to meet me, while you're getting in that swimming pool?
But thn again, I was spying at you studying in the library that afternoon when I was supposed to be at work—and I told him to tell him, fuck him and his wife, he lost his balls because she was third in line and left behind and she clasped on to his as soon as she could and now he doesn't even watch the Champions League—
....ah jeez, I think I'm in love again.
my heart like an inflated balloon
looks like it's going to pop tonight
i thought i had just won the lottery
all the monsters from lord of the rings
i thought i put to sleep
No...no!
words, buzzing, a fan, room
why do i even bother living
some of us judt aren't made to
I...I don't want to do this anymore.
why don't you just crush me like an anvil when i dream its a cartoon?
Why don't you just blow me up when I'm asleep.
I hate you.
There is no God.
Love is sex,
Love is dicks and pussies and cum.
Life is money.
Life is commerce and Donald Trump and his Russian wife.
Blow me the fuck up!
A night full of sweet tear-filled dreams
Today, people held doors open for me,
because I'm in love!
...and I'm loved!
I offered to pay and the cashier
waved me away. She knew
...that I'm in love!
and I'm loved!
I approached people arguing, and smiled;
obviously, they didn't know
...that I'm in love!
and I'm loved!
A man said to me,
"You know, there are mosquitos in the Philippines as big as dogs?"
I turned around, "This guy's crazy!...
...cause I'm in love!
and I'm loved!"
I walked up to a homeless man,
and said take it, take it all!
He said...you must be in love!
and You're loved!
all right, you go to the unicorn in front of the Kmart , Lindsey from accounting...ummm, she's got cart diem for the bowling arcade in the mall—Yea, she the one that likes to keep pictures of her exes in bed. Yea, she likes to introduce them to the new guy in emails, in some degree—Don't look at me like that Scott, I'll have you at the Chucky Cheese battle royaling two kids that'll bully you in the future anyway. Yea? Good, get me a couple slices too, please.
(annotated-* remembering)
(annotated-* remembering)
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