Jmnn
a couple weeks bavk, me and ___ went to a local, and put in 5-10 bucks worth of music in the jukebox, Amy, Radiohead, Michael Jackson—the usual. The was an asshole demographic there that night, that knew the barkeep slut, as there usually. We waited patienty, but when it was our musics' turn, ____ noticed the barkeep conviently using a remote control. We got treted to Beyonce. I swore revenge.
I'm going to head over there tonight. Then skip my bill.
How's the cane, do you want me to get you a few?
No, I have one more.
That's my cane you're using, old man....
That's the cane I was using a few months after I gave up my love.
Your backyard looks dead, he said.
I looked around, well, there's some dog shit.
This place used to have mulberries. You guys ever eat the mulberries?
No, I said. Squirrels get to it before we do, what can you do?
This place used to be happening, he said more or less.
You should read a book, draw.
I can't draw, grandpa!
You should do something,
He said with some angst and love,
so I tried to play an old guitar off tune with missing strings in front of him,
I was drunk....
Well, troops, this is it. Men, this is it: the last of our ration. I—We—knew it would come to this. Like all good sex comes to an end.
-Except with that romantic who went AWOL.
- Shut it, Malcapurcus. We knew this time would come, with all the mayhem. And I have decided we will not be sending for more. I have assessed the situation...and that is my decision.
-Chief!
-Don't call me that.
-What if Charlie—
-(troops in unison) The cum monger!
-(impatiently). You know, this is why...(rolls over his tongue)...this is why, because you guys always embarrass me!
-Oh, come on, Chief!
- (under the previous voice) Yea, come on, Guy!
- I told you not to call me that...and we have beers...
-Beers!?
-(Guy) ...Sapporros
-(voices)The Japs!
-(voices) Look at 'em. They look scared.
-(astute sniperman) Sir, I respect in presuming that this is not an economical decision?
-(Barney Gumble) What if the Chaplin's want to drink us under the table! Between this beer, and the next beer, and the beer in Mage's carhole, there's only one six pack left!
-I resoect your astuteness...not yours Gumble.
-
Hmmn
from Shutter island moviefilm
Shutter Island i think
[Teddy and Chuck interview patient, Peter Breene]
Peter Breene: She'd smile at me. She was so sweet, but you could see it in her eyes, she liked to be naked, to suck cock.
Chuck Aule: Okay, Mr Breene.
Peter Breene: And then she asked me if she could have a glass of water, alone, in the kitchen, like that's no big deal?
Teddy Daniels: Wh...why was that a big deal?
Peter Breene: It was obvious. She wanted me to pull out my thing so that she could laugh at it.
Teddy Daniels: Mr Breene, we need to ask you some questions, okay?
Peter Breene: When I cut her she screamed, but she scared me. What did she expect?
Teddy Daniels: Interesting, but we're here to talk about Rachel Solando, okay?
Peter Breene: Rachel Solando. Do...do you know that she drowned her own kids? She drowned her kids. This is...this is a sick fucking world we live in, I'll tell you that. But you know what, they should be gassed. All of them, the...the retards, the killers, the niggers. You kill your own kids? Gas the bitch!
Shutter Island i think
[Teddy and Chuck interview patient, Peter Breene]
Peter Breene: She'd smile at me. She was so sweet, but you could see it in her eyes, she liked to be naked, to suck cock.
Chuck Aule: Okay, Mr Breene.
Peter Breene: And then she asked me if she could have a glass of water, alone, in the kitchen, like that's no big deal?
Teddy Daniels: Wh...why was that a big deal?
Peter Breene: It was obvious. She wanted me to pull out my thing so that she could laugh at it.
Teddy Daniels: Mr Breene, we need to ask you some questions, okay?
Peter Breene: When I cut her she screamed, but she scared me. What did she expect?
Teddy Daniels: Interesting, but we're here to talk about Rachel Solando, okay?
Peter Breene: Rachel Solando. Do...do you know that she drowned her own kids? She drowned her kids. This is...this is a sick fucking world we live in, I'll tell you that. But you know what, they should be gassed. All of them, the...the retards, the killers, the niggers. You kill your own kids? Gas the bitch!
I like that song by Lady Antebellum
It's 2:30 in the morning
I'm a little drunk
i found a piece of chip
behind the coach
I'll kill the bitch you'rewith now
-Now that's a woman.
I was really impulsive today, babe. But only with spending food on money. I got up at around 7am, and I was pretty surprised. I thought I may as well go to work early today, but in a little bit. I took a few bites of some beef jerky I had on my drawer with my eyes closed and gave some to my dog then I got up and drove down to this little breakfeast shack and paid 7 bucks for a breakfeast burritto. And on the way back a voice said to me, you realize you just paid 7 bucks for a burritto, right? Yea, but it was huge, like the size of your arm. When I got home I watched a little netflix while I had my breakfest but there was so much stuff in the burritto, that after I ate it I promptly fell asleep and didn't start work until about 1pm. When I got up again, I had some of the laffy-taffy watermelon flavor i bought on impulse yesterday.
I had a stomach ache all day because the burritto place makes its own hot salsa and I ordered extra of it, and I was so irritated at my own body that to spite it, I went into Mcdonalds and ordered a McDouble and a Buffalo Ranch McNasty and small fries and a large diet coke. Then at a gas station, I had a huge Rice Krispies Trest with Choco Chip, like huge, like the size of my...you know...
Then around 6:30 for dinner I decided to go find somewhere to eat in the town center, but my stomach still hurt and there was no parking anywhere and why don't these people go home don't they have families? So I drove around looking for parking for awhile but not really feeling like parking, so then I put some gas in the car and drove home. While I was waiting in line to fill up I heard a 90s song that really jacked me up and I realized I was feeling kind of manic and I thought I would probably get drunk instead of eating tonight.
When I got home, I left home again about 15 minutes later and thought maybe I'll go get some teriyaki at that sushi place but I ended up sitting through an AA meeting, then after the meeting, I rushed out and instead of talking to people I went and got some terriyaki.
Then about an hour after eating, I had two slices of pizza. One was with pinnapple and ham and that was really good with tabasco sauce, the other was sausage, onions, and pepperonni and I took out the sausages. A little before my first dinner, I bought one of those Starbucks Vanilla Light iced drinks and a Kinder Chocolate Brownie to prove to the cashier that I feel a bit financially reckless today.
I didn't win the lottery today. In the morning when I woke up, I thought i should quit playing the lottery but eventually decided that I can't because I have my set of roulette numbers that are imprinted in my brain, and if those numbers ever come up and I didn't play them that day, I would have to hamg myself.
Doubtfire, dear, Euphegenia Doubtfire
"Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh, sir. I saw it! Some angry member of the kitchen staff, Did you not tip them? Oh, the terrorists! They ran that way. It was a run-by fruiting. I'll get them, sir. Don't worry."
Welcome, to Jenny ba-ba-ba-ba Spaghetti! This is my court, this is a court of law, and and this is my bailiff, professional basketball player, Rick Fox. We have a lot of cases to get through today, so please make sure all the little pencils are returned to the bailiff—Rick make sure you get them all back because if I'm going to have to sit here and wait on a kindergarten scavenger hunt, I'm going to set some new scales for justice.
- (rick fox)All right folks, when you are finished filling out your papers, return the pencils with the paper. The pencils come back with the paperwork.
- (judge ashley spaghetti) All right, let's see here, plaintiff and defendant are present....That was a question! C'mon folks
- (Both parties). Yes, Ma'am
-And listed here are two names that the court has identified—so before we can proceed, can the defen-dant explain to the court the presence of two additional figures in the defendant's box?
- (rick Fox aside to the gallery?). Come on lady, if it's not in your hand, then it's in your purse. Let's check the purse, let's see it. Oh, am I scaring you? Here it is, next to your nitrate pills.
- (judge approving) Good work, Rick
-(rick fox on old lady) ...wait, you didn't finish the rest of the form—here, you didn't even complete the form! Return the pen with the form, or Lifeline won't save you in time.
(lifeline won't save you
slam dunk ur head to drown a clown (cmon lady, ill use your head to dunk a clown)?
-(defendent, Bertha Strong) That is my brother Flaco, and his girlfriend, judge—well they were there when—
-(judge)so that's Flaco, and aflaco's girl? (Court laughs)
-Yes he saw me get ripped off by—
-Hold on, now! So these individuals are here as witness to the case?
-Yes.
-bailoff remove the witnesses from the defendant's box, so we can proceed.
-(Plaintiff). You're honor, i have written a list of 100 hundred lies that I can directly attribute under oath to the Defense Witness, the so-called—
-(judge judy) mr. Pietrznack...
-(plaintiff carries on) in hopes of demonstrating the arbitrary nature of ...
-(judge) Mr. piertrzinack! I won't tell you again!
-(plaintiff...) ... Of said integrity
-(judge) i'll tell you you now, that while the fervor with which righteous citizens pursue truth and justice stands as a testimonial to the bustling spirit of progress and virtue inherent in our great nation, order and procedure must be the buttress of our souls. (gallery quiet)
- (rick Fox). Let's get those pencils in, everybody.
-(judge) the court will decide and consider the arbitrary nature of all things submitted to the court, in time and syntax. Now we have wasted too much time, we have a budget problem...and if you have finally found a good mechanic or accountant or spiritual advisor, i'll still advise you that I will not have my court turned into a Venezuelan hulu circus or South African vuvuzela.
Sasha was adopted!!!! I love humanity!
http://www.examiner.com/article/no-time-for-elderly-dog-who-is-heartbroken-after-surrender-at-13-years-of-age
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