Sober again, time to bust out my to-do pile

It's amazing how clear and peaceful and ambitious my head is today.

I had severe anxiety the last few days because of the withdrawal, where--besides thinking this is the end; my heart is about to stop--I could only imagine what people feel as they're getting murdered or raped or in a doomed airplane or drowning car or fighting a bear, and how terrible life is if you're only born to anticipate death or getting robbed at gunpoint...and then you die, and then what?

It's funny, with the stimulants, you don't care about your heart cause you got the euphoria that trumps the thumping of the uncouth night; but withdrawal, you can't even sleep unless you drink because your heart won't let you.  You close your eyes and you swirl down into a trance, and thoughts turn into an on-going scene, but you immediately jump up

I don't know.  It still feels weird when I lie down.  How the hell do people sleep on their backs sober?  I'm a lover, baby--I need to always be in cuddling position.  Squeezed lemon in perrier.

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