I feel the monster lurking in my head.  It should be rising soon.  There's no one I can talk to about it.  There's no one that can understand.  Eh, prolly there are, but they're on their own too.  It's not really something you can share with others.

To be honest, if I don't expose myself to it, how can I indulge it?    Every little step, even for a moment or minute, adds up; every trigger given the light of day

I used to feel like there were worms in my brain; I would stay up for days.  Or there's holes, or it's a wound that's never healed

Post Traumatic Syndrome (lost in translation)

"Why, what's that?

That's when Armenia lost to Turkey in football and you lost it and divorced your wife on that very soil."

Cribs

Hello, welcome, come.  I show you my home.

Welcome to my family room.    That's fur rug, black and white.   My furniture, black and white, like zebra.  Fireplace, very warm, marble tiles.  I hang my parents' picture on the wall.  They loved each other so much.  I loved them. My wife loved them.  I hang one more in our bedroom. On fireplace counter, more pictures.   Eiffel Tower.  It's Ceaser's Palace and Venetian, our pets, my wife's mother.

Vopshum, here's my kitchen, remodeled mo-dern style, marble counter, all lighting, refrigerator big.  My neighbors can usually see me in my underwear when I'm in kitchen.  They must not like it, but the windows are big so they see our TV.

Show you some of my food.

Here's some kvass, very good drink, and some russian sour cream -- the crumbs are from the bread.  I like to double-dip in the middle of the night.  My wife doesn't like it - but her sister does!  eh-he-he-he-he! eh-he-he-he! oh...vi, no,  hala give me that camera!

...tketsi

:)

If I see a man, I say "Hey, man."
If I see a woman, I say "Hey, woman."

The former rolls off the tongue.
The latter, you really got to put some effort
into it, some passion.

David Chase

" I said it's a cold universe and I don't mean that metaphorically. If you go out into space, it's cold. It's really cold and we don't know what's up there. We happen to be in this little pocket where there's a sun. What have we got except love and each other to guard against all that isolation and loneliness?"

Very nice. How come I can't come up with shit like that? You know there was a time, where I never, or rarelu used foul language, not even in my mind. It was a discipline. I started after I read some George Orwell essays. And I think once I gave up reading and learning, my mind grew dull.

-

I told my attorney we should meet early in the courtyard. Last week, I noticed I was telling him page numbers from the documents.

He was late; I looked around at other professionals. He approached in a suit bigger than him, with enough purple in his tie. Sonuvabitch! He must have someone who loves him.

He said we should take the stairs. I'm on a diet.

I suggested we go in. He went searching for a restroom; he had too much water.

I smoked a cigarette outside waiting for him. Americans walked by and stared at me. He came out and related a story to me about thieves breaking into his car this past week and stealing his archery equipment--two thousand dollar binoculars.

I said i wish you told me you were a hunter. 

I would have never hired you.

If you smother another
if early enough,
they can run,
they can breathe,
and their relief 
grows into indifference.

If not

Nothing Ever Happened.

I feel like im in love again
What it would be like
to be sane again

U really did a number on me

got me dreamin
got me dreamin
Hardest part is waking up

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

hours and hours and hours and hours
I cant get myself 
out of bed

how long will your tallest buildings survive?

We stood atop a building, overlooking a sea of lights. I looked up to a moon that hovered not too far up above. In peculiar motion glimmered - somewhere, somewhere up - two window-shaped xenon lights, then disappeared. I stood motionless, fascinated, awaiting something special to come. The planets aligned themselves: the stars, the lights, not too far from my eyes, and glimmered in unison the same instantaneous bright blue. Something was in the works. Down below, a young girl met an older man. She carried on with butterflies she couldn't wait to keep from the world.



Yea, something special was about to come. There must have been a spaceship. Next I saw laser beams in swift motion tear down all the tall buildings around us. In the flat below, some girl was getting it from a guy who wanted to walk away at the right time. One by one I saw skyscrapers fall. Fire, panic, and mayhem ensued. Something special was in the works against which we had no insurance. Government became an abstraction that quickly dissolved, and the military was no where to be found. These entities could not calm the people, because it was the Earth They were after. All the tall buildings in the world collapsed. That thief, he wouldn't get very far.



We ran with fear but ignored the feeling. Something told us this was just the first phase. Panic loomed but the prospect of absolute extinction sank deeper, deeper, and deeper. Something we could not percieve, would finally nullify our hopes, dreams, and desires. We were running and then, we jumped -

Loser, my ass! I'd love to see you put a bottle down like me.

images.

All the years I spent
Implanting it into my head.
I'll prolly never be free of it.
It'll never be free of me.

My world's crumbling around me
and I'm distracted.

I've been having difficulty lately distinguishing reality from dreams. I gotta start staying away from people. I don't know what I'm liable to say or do.

What was it, barking?

Sopranos S.4( best season) E.10

Where Chrissy gets high and sits on Adrianna's dog.

"She must have crawled underneath there for warmth."

Priceless!

Maybe your elves can build me a brain.

eatkhash

Had my vodka,
Had my khash,
Threw it all up,
Had a heart attack,
Did it all over again

Little Children

"you almost finished there? cause i'd really like to go on my walk."

I think it's going to be my new Magnolia.

chia pet

just soak your chia
spread the seed
and watch it grow

and now i'll give her a bonus gift
said the man

she said
now i can get him cuddly, again

baby,
can you order me an alarm clock
in the morning