who knows what is waiting
detox tomorrow
drink tonight

sister christian lala-la-la la

more than a feeling!

i miss ucla.  all the times i would get drunk in my car and listen to music really loud

Open House

That's where he likes to stick his dick.
,

Well Jean Paul Sartre said something along the lines that a Man's essence is to find a hole stick his dick into it...so maybe I can build a hole in one of my walls

Because I'm better than violence

that's why

Welcome to Arm-WrestleMania!

Tolstoy vs. Dostoevsky. --Sorry, that one's on pay-per-view.

Tonight we have

Pushkin vs.Chekhov

Gogol vs. the entire Gogol Bordello

Turgenev vs. the diary of a Superfluous Man

 

What's up, baby-cakes?

Nevsky Prospect with Dounia.

im quite drunk

Good God, Lemon!

if i drink enough maybe i won't wake up

piss out of the window

fuck 'em!

drink so much that you can only see out of one eye

i hooe i die tonight 

Freedom!

Permanent marker on my hairy chest
blow my head off--
at least i won't have to work

In Armenia, if you get in car crash, you get out of the car and beat each other up.
Whoever loses is at fault.

I gotta stop going to that bar.  I went outside last night waiting to fight some guy.  He never came out.  So I went back in and sat back down next to him.  Then I arm-wrestled a Vietnam veteran.  I beat him  with my left hand.  On my right, it was hard.  Geezer ain't foolin' around.

Motto

1.  talk up a storm...then leave
2. It's hard work...being sexy

Man, you drinkin Jagermiser?

Don't ever forget what the Germans did!

...yea, that's right, Volkswagen!

holy shit

holy mas mas

holy yerort mas

holy cannoli

holy liza minnelli

holy Michael york

holy toucan Sam

holy great vagabond

holy vagabond Inn

do you ever feel like the CIA has put hidden cameras in your ipad or your iphone or the bathroom?

Oh...I don't either

let's see the damage

a t-shirt that says "ungluten-free"
no pants

soy bomb

Don't act like an Aristocrat.  We all know what you left in the air on that aisle of Whole Foods.  Come back and wine taste it.  By now, it's permeating.

-I've been eating like a cow lately.

-Yea, cows don't eat sugar cookies and Kit-Kats.

shopping list

-absolut vodka

-subtle weed pipe

-pop tarts -cookie dough flavor

-russian ham

-basturma

-eggplant caviar

-fresh loaf of bread

Sometimes I'm quite wasted or weary,
and I drop my head down and think
and I hear this voice

"You're doing good."
Nodding, with that fuckin smirk on his face.
He makes me laugh sometimes.

And I will even go so far as to say that Kasparov is welcome here any day!

And Ararat from 1973

i will not smoke w/out my Real Madrid jersey on.
This is a Real Madrid House!

Ask my babe's lovers.  I'm sure they beg to differ.

La Haine

"Nothing like a good shit."

La Haine's a good film, I would love to watch that tonight.  Anything with Vincent Cassel, except Hollywood.

Someone should give both of us ten dollars

-I bet you ten dollars.
-No way, I know you're right.  I called it before you did.  Let's see the driver.

Except Asians, but especially South Koreans..  I don't care what you call me.  They have no business on US Roads.  I'm tired of ascribing to the whole trick of the mind sort of thing.  Stick to interesting cinema and jumping around technology like the Rolling Stones just came into town.

Worst drivers on this planet, and at least two more--that I've heard of.

(Most of the pageview spam says South Korea.  Broke my heart.)

I keep trying to do a bunch of drunken rants, but i end up arguing with myself and realize I'm wrong.

There's two toothbrushes in the bathroom.  One is mine; the other I sometimes use on the dog's teeth.   

Don't use mine.

I was trying to watch a Dodgers game; they were in the playoffs.  I really tried to get into it.  For 3 hours, there was nothing else to do at the bar--certainly, no jukebox action.  I just don't get it.

More boring than a yawn.  More boring than covering your face with a baseball glove.

Between Jeffrey Dahmer and Uday Hussein, I'm making too many enemies

By the way, did you know that Ted Bundy, while acting as his own attorney, had the audacity to ask a witness if she could identify the perpetuator in the courtroom?  

And she goes, "Yea, it was you."  

This is not good.  He knows on
- It's, "Up on."
- It's not, "Upon," and it's not even, "Up on," stupid.  Listen to what I'm saying : He knows...where I live!
- Who?
- Jeffrey.  He heard me say it.  I know he did.  I get paranoids at night.
- Ahahaha!  You said, "Paranoids."
- I watch my windows.  I don't need this shit, too.
- Ha! You said, "Turds!"

I was supposed to catch up on sleep tonight.
Last two nights, i would feel something in my chest and
just wake up like im trying to breathe
or my wife just rocked me out of the waterbed

Coy, my ass.

There is something I'm curious about.  I'm fairly certain that one of the bouncers at a bar I frequent--that is, pump money into--does not like me, and might be planning on killing me--more likely wishing me ill fate.  And now, I'm certain, as something peculiar happened this evening, which I will relate to you, just in case--it was that fat, blond metalhead who has the Stare of Jefferey Dahmer at The Park.  I'm pretty good friends with the other bouncer and the waitress who works those nights, in terms of endearment.  The other thing I noticed is Jeffery Metalhead has a young/Uncle relationship with the elder bouncer--they actually might be related.  I'm quite fond of the elder bouncer, as he seems like a very good man, and we always use coarse language on each other, but lately I've been getting an uneasy feeling from Jeffery Metal Head--not so much that he doesn't respond to my drunken witticisms, but just from the way he stares at me.

So, today, I told my barkeep I'm going to write you a witty letter in lieu of a tip (layaway), as is my wont, but then I saw Jeffrey's Uncle, and I said, "Me, you, tic-tac-to!"  So we played, and I won very quickly--which is odd--and then he went to his business and I went to write my tip on ______ notepad, and Jeffrey grabbed it from my hands and he said no more letters for tonight with that dull blankness to his fat bearded face.  I guess I got angry, but I didn't think it warranted yet, making a scene.

I told ____, in a note which I wrote out of spite: That guy's going to be a serial killer.

Metalheads

- The guy ate a bird's head off,  and what are you doing?  You're headbanging.  You look like a wannabe-bull--a true American.

When I see people looking at me
I imagine what they might see
then I realize what they probably see.

We got no one line
that clings us together--
prolly cause we'd be crying and embracing each other
instead of going out and making that sweet sweet

Love?  We got no love.
People have taken it
and it's in their room

Started getting in fights with my exclamation points, again

He's got a big ego;

I got a big ego