Feels like a LOTR Trilogy day.

...Nevermind.  Owe the library ten bucks. I'm not going to pay ten bucks to see a movie.  Lots of eggs would be on my face.  Besides, late fees are unconstitutional.

- But if you pay the amount owed, you can continue renting a plethora of great selections.

- I've had it with your nonsensical ravings and whimiscal flights of fancy.  What the hell's a plethora?

- An armful of DVDs, for free.  Imagine that.

- Explain yourself!

- If you pay the amount owed—

- But I don't want to.

- ...you can rent as many DVDs as you can fit in your bag

- And I suppose I have to pay for the bag?  You cunt.  

- Please don't call me that. You can rent as many DVDs as you can fit in your hands.

- A man's hands, you can bet.

- In your hands or handsome burly arms.

- Well why didn't you just out and come with it, toiling around the edges like a fairy on a sailboat.  What the hell's a plethora?  

- It is something you can hold in your arms.

- Well, then why didn't you come out with it?  You ought to blow me when I feel like it.  

- I tried to explain it to you.

- I ought to put the bag over your head and choke you while I—Come on, let's go to your bank account.

- I don't have but ten dollars, I'm sorry.  I do the best I can with—

- That's okay you have more than I need.  And you can make up for the rest by...ah, jeez, he off and went and killed himself.  The cunt fairy.  I ought to put the bag over his head and real quick before the cops come...ah...ah...ek!...oh!  Egg on his face, cunt bitch.

- I'm back.

- Huh, what?

- Grabbed a tuna sandwich from the donut shop round the corner.  $3.75 on wheat.  Can't beat it.

- I thought you off and went and snuffed it?

- Doesn't sound like me.  

- Then who's this?!

- Oh, that's just your imagination.  Turns out, I was just hungry.

- Egg on my face!

- I'm laughing: ha ha ha ha! Asians make the best sandwiches.  Everybody knows that.  Everybody.

- I understand and follow you clearly.

- I told that guy no mayo.  That sandwich tasted too good for No Mayo.

- Do you want me to go get my bag?

- Yea, we got some choking to do.

- Should we hold hands?

- Not while we're choking him.

- Right, then he might not take us so seriously.

- Yea, we don't want him laughing at us while we try to kill him.  Very undermining.

- Who wants to die laughing?

tired, hungry, angry, irritable

Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired...I was way off!