I was going to complement myself some more and guise it as despair but then I had to cross the street in front of cars—so I whole tornado of stranglings I had to grapple—I was goong to be wrestling with them the whole time—i was fine at first, I hit the button once and stepped back.  No harm there, I had made my point.  This llets people know I'm patient, mostly likely composed, and civilized—civilized becuse you have to have been living among cavemen if after all these years you think more than one push will make a difference, and I've seen them, people pounding away at that thing like it's just them two without the camera or the guy that jerks you off in between changing film.   That's an irrational act.  So I paced a bit—why not?  I had bought myself some time—Then I ran into the pole and heard the bing again, but I kind of let them know, that it was never my intention.  I've been around the block.  I'm not circling the block, believe me guys!  It's different this—well what do y

No, this is not the direction I had in mind for it.  It's this bar.  The band.  They're too loud it's too open, I lost it.  I'm the last cliche,  I've yet to find my bar from The Iceman Cometh or Cheers—or how bout those bars that are strictly for players in the underworld, where an innocuous exchange between a patron and the bartender means that a series of big players have already nonchantly went out of their way to add another count ofConspiracy just byvouching for—ok, this is not going, I want to be vouched for...that's funny how in S.1 or 2 of the Wire, McNultty goes, "I can vouch for him, brother" to the FBI guy.  Cause that's not his lingo, you know.? 

ah, fuck it, the gist of it was i was going to to plead to the cars with my stickypad, like go back and forth taking ideas about what to do with my gestures—it was funny...it was....whatever, you wouldn't know funny if it was mullberry that landed on you with all the other other mulberries, well i got news foe you: it was a mullberry tree you wede under!

i made such a fuss about thanksgiving dinner, sabatoged myself again, eh whatever