I haven't slept for awhile.
There were instances where things I was looking at  hazy cartoons 
and I wondered if this was really happening
or some scant dreams
but there was still some dopamine 
some dopamine in that hole 
scamt and i was hyper relieved

all the faces look like one
she must have changed her identity
to deny me access
they way she's done it i don't think it's mean
any one of these could be her, i reasoned
(it's gotta be her) i reasoned
a voice told me eventually to stop looking at faces
i wish she did so i could find something new

she lives in a place for me that doesn't exist for her

i live in types of sickness that's lost aloud
dare i say i can't ever see her as real again
yet im here, i'm around



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