black seals

I can't recall any bad dreams lately.  Most are pleasant, or soothing, or even exhilarating.  In some, we're back together, and seemingly happy, or communicating in person, but there's an optimistic overture to it—those usually leave me pretty depressed in the morning and loath to start my day.  But that I can also ascribe to lack of adequate rest.  Whatever it is, it evetually clears away as I start moving and get caught up with work.  Sometimes I'll play with it throughout my day, and imagine her with me while I'm driving around, showing her places I go, and what we'd talk about, and the laughs we'd have whenever I have a funny thought in my head about another driver or person I encounter or observe.  Ask her for advice on some issues.  And when I have lunch and see a couple there, too, I would wonder, well, would we get separate drinks, or just share one big one?  Work keeps me distracted, and that's good, but as soon as I'm done I tend to forget about it, and get restless.  It's hard to be ambitious when there's this underlying hopelessness, a resignation to the futility of trying too hard.  But the more mentally depressed I get, or pessimisstic toward my willingness to grow, the sweeter the dreams.

Except I had a dream that the game barely started and Bayern had already scored in Madrid through a header.  Then later in the dream, I felt relief that that was just a dream and I looked at the scoreboard and it's 1 - 2 first half in the Bernabeu in favor of Bayern. Great, two away goals.