I received a letter from the postman this afternoon.  It was from my son's school.  The weather was grey, and murky, and cool.  I decided to read the letter over some hot coffee by the window.  Apparently, he had some behavioral issues the principal wanted to discuss with me.  And apparently, he had pissed on the fern in the principal's office.  That was not possible, because I taught my son to piss in the toilet.  For him to do that would mean he is retarted.  Next time I see him, I'm going to piss on him.