I feel the monster lurking in my head.  It should be rising soon.  There's no one I can talk to about it.  There's no one that can understand.  Eh, prolly there are, but they're on their own too.  It's not really something you can share with others.

To be honest, if I don't expose myself to it, how can I indulge it?    Every little step, even for a moment or minute, adds up; every trigger given the light of day

I used to feel like there were worms in my brain; I would stay up for days.  Or there's holes, or it's a wound that's never healed