I can't sleep at nights. No matter how early I wake up, if I make it through the evening, I'm restless in the early hours, or late. I read in the news recently about three young drunk kids who lost control in a car and smashed through a pizza parlour. I think they hit a gas line and blew up. I pass by the scene a few times a week. There's flowers and pictures and black stains on the wall and the store is boarded up. They had their tidbit on the daily news, and we all talked about it and asked if anyone knew them and weird questions like who's pizza shop that was and what were they driving. And some citizens were interested in why the kids were recent immigrants driving a 90 thousand dollar car. Days go by and people stop thinking about them, except for people like me. I first wondered what their families were doing right now. How are they spending their days? Are their famikies close or is there ill will and blaming? Did the kids die on impact or were they at some point aware that they were burning? If one was ejected, was there a moment that he was aware of it? If you're burning, how long before you stop feeeling it? I think it's unfair that some people have to experience these things, such horror I can't even imagine. What is it like to be aware of these -what is it, sensations? If your skin is melting off, it's your brain telling you that...what? I dunno man, WHAT THE Fuck! What if you could feel it for like 3 seconds, and then you would be all right. Just to know what it felt like. Prolly still wouldn't be able to recall and put the sensations in words. There's people who have been burned badly and lived. How can they possibly describe it? Having super powers to allow you to do things, like jumping off a bridge or groping your neighbor's wife and then waking up again like Groundhog Day. Being in a plane crash - BUT! what if before the plane crashes, you're thrown all over the plane and things are smashing into you, you lose a limb here but it's still hanging on or your intestines are falling out. No, a plane crash is still too risky even for a Groundhog Day life. (I imagine some pain is too unbearably at any cost). I would love to have that kind of life. Death obviously is not painful, but dying sucks. I was electrocuted once. Well, it was just a shock, when i had my hand on a socket in the bathroom, i forget how it happened. But it hurt, it felt like something just yanked my arm, but so hard that i felt it move up into the middle of my chest. But in that moment i wasnt thinking of what that sensation felt like. I was in it and thats all I could comprehend. I didnt know i was experiencing pain until the sensation was gone and i was thinking about it. So maybe if i was being electrcuted to death, i would not be aware that i am dying, and maybe would not be aware of the pain.